r/AITAH 14h ago

Advice Needed AITA for filing for divorce after discovering my husband's very conservative beliefs?

13.8k Upvotes

I (26F) have been married to my husband (27M) for two years now. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but recently I discovered something that has shaken me to my core.

I have always been open-minded and quite liberal in my beliefs; I volunteer at a shelter for people experiencing homelessness and work at a center specializing in youth mental health. My husband, on the other hand, portrayed himself as similarly minded when we first met. We fell in love, got married, and I have been the primary breadwinner while he pursued various career interests, none of which panned out so far, and he is currently unemployed.

The trouble started when I stumbled upon some online activity that revealed he holds very conservative views on social and political issues. These were views he never expressed before, and when I confronted him about it, he admitted that he had deliberately hidden them from me because he knew how important my progressive values were to me. I asked him about the "women belong in the home" posts he had made and asked him if he thought I would be better at home. He told me that yes he thought I should be a housewife.

This revelation has hit me hard. It's not just about the difference in beliefs itself, but the fact that he kept this fundamental aspect of himself hidden from me. I feel like I don't truly know him anymore, and I'm struggling to reconcile the person I thought I married with this new reality. Especially because his views in this case are unrealistic, especially due to him not even having a job.

I've always believed in open communication and honesty in a relationship, and now I feel betrayed. It's not just about politics; it's about trust and respect. I am the one supporting us financially, and while that doesn't bother me inherently, the fact that he misled me about something so significant does. I filed for divorce and gave him the papers today.

He pitched a fit and got really angry at me when I told him that I was leaving him. He flew off the handle when I mentioned I was glad the prenup kept our finances separate. He told me I can't leave him like this and that I was an ass and a bitch for dumping him like this. That I promised to be with him for richer or poorer and in good times and bad. I feel a bit guilty about leaving him in this way, though I can't be with a person who thinks the way he does about women.

AITA?


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