r/TwoHotTakes Feb 03 '24

Two Hot Takes Pod Suggestions/Questions/Feedback 🤍 TWO HOT TAKES POD – SUGGESTIONS/FEEDBACK THREAD (suggest a theme/guest, ask podcast questions and provide feedback HERE)

55 Upvotes

This thread is for discussing Two Hot Takes podcast theme suggestions, guest suggestions, feedback, and questions.

In efforts to clean up this subreddit and for visibility of our actual listeners, we have removed the Two Hot Takes podcast related flairs. Moving forward, posts suggesting podcast themes/guests, providing feedback, or asking questions regarding the podcast will be removed and directed to this thread.

We want to be able to interact with the actual podcast listeners more and for you guys to be able to interact with each other, but as the sub has grown a lot of conversations about the podcast have gotten lost, so for now, this is our solution. Thanks for being a Two Hot Takes listener. 🤍

**Discussions about individual podcast episodes will remain in the posts flaired with Episode Discussion. (So NOT here)


r/TwoHotTakes 1d ago

Episode discussion 🎤 Is it Really a Big Deal..? || Two Hot Takes Podcast || Reddit Reactions

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0 Upvotes

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Lauren and Justin!

This week's episode is all about determining if certain scenarios are a big deal or not. Putting family in a middle row at your wedding, using your shirt as your sauce tray, and getting waxed by your parents.. we really question it all. Can't wait to hear your thoughts and check out YouTube for some polls! -Morgan


r/TwoHotTakes 2h ago

Advice Needed Husband keeps suggesting that our son is not his. BUT HE IS.

217 Upvotes

My husband is mixed (black father and a white mother). I am white. We have two beautiful children. They look completely different and everyone always comments on how different their complexion is. Our oldest has beautiful caramel skin with brown eyes and is almost as dark as my husband. Our second is white with a hint of a yellow undertone and will have either green or hazel eyes. He looks yellowish in person but in pictures is very white. His face is also much lighter than his body. Our son is 6 months old.

For the first 2-3 months, our son was darker and my husband was happy. But he began to get lighter as the months went on. His eyes also changed from very dark grey to blue/grey on the outside with brown in the middle. He was born with VERY dark hair and now has blonde hair. I (and my entire family) have green/blue eyes. My hair is now dark brown, but it was blonde for the first 8 years of my life. My MIL is blonde with hazel eyes.

When the baby began to appear lighter, my husband asked for a paternity test due to his friends and coworkers all bringing up how light our second child is. I obliged because I know that my husband would’ve let the wound fester and hold resentment towards me and the baby as he’s had multiple friends have women cheat. He’s also been cheated on and gets weird about things like that.

The paternity test was an oral DNA swab and I did not touch any portion of it because I didn’t want him to come back and say it was because I did something. The only thing I did was place it in the mail with him watching me. The results showed that he is the father.

We did the test when the baby was 4 months old. He hasn’t really brought it up but I can tell that how light our son is really bothers him.

Tonight, he started saying that he didn’t think the baby was his and that he wasn’t the father. Our oldest heard and said “yes you are our daddy.” He mentioned it multiple times throughout the night. He said that he won’t be a father to him because he’s not a black child. And that about broke me. Baby boy deserves the world and I want to make sure his dad is active in his life.

We have not had issues with trust prior to this and I have not done anything to warrant this. I love him and he’s an amazing father to our oldest. He does play with the baby and will care for him. But he always makes little comments about who his dad might be. I’m worried that those comments will affect our oldest and the little one on a subconscious level. They also hurt me.

I have encouraged him to go get another paternity test done via blood draw if he really felt that our son way not his.

I guess I need advice on how to deal with this.


r/TwoHotTakes 6h ago

Advice Needed I’m secretly in love with my boss and now he is leaving. Do I tell him?

412 Upvotes

I (29F) have been a teacher at a local school for almost 4 years. I have had a crush on my department head (32M) for the past year or so after we started working more closely. We are both single and have similar interests and view world view points. (It also helps that he is physically 100% my type. We also live in a similar area from the school. We have hung out in a group setting outside of school once but mostly he just talks to me in school. We talk about our lives and we vent to each other quite often.

Our county has a STRICT no fraternization policy with directly superior or supervisory employees. He is mine. So I’ve never told him I had feelings because I didn’t want to jeopardize either of our jobs.

Last week, he came to my classroom to tell me he was leaving to teach at a different school 30 minutes away. He said that the school recruited him and that he was very sad to leave but he was excited for the opportunity and pay raise. He said he was going to have to move as well.

That night I went home and had a very vivid dream about he and I being together and going out for a date. I will be stepping into his role next year for the department and I want to be able to reach out to him with questions if I have them. But I’m worried that I tell him I have these feelings and he doesn’t respond well then I’ve lost him as a colleague and resource. We have our department celebration next week and after that he is gone. So I have until then to decide….. What should I do?


r/TwoHotTakes 2h ago

Advice Needed Am I overthinking my husband’s coworker messaging him that she can’t wait for their business trip?

88 Upvotes

My (39F) husband (39F) and I have been together for 17 years, married for 15 years and we have five kids (13M, 11M, 8F, 6F, 2M). He works and provides a very nice home and lifestyle for our family and I am a SAHM. Four days ago, just before my husband left for a work trip across the country, I was scrolling through Instagram Reels on his phone and a text popped up from his coworker saying “Can’t wait for Texas❤️”. I didn’t get to read their text conversation as my husband was running late for his flight and he asked for his phone just at that moment before giving me a kiss and a hug and leaving.

For some context, his phone’s ringer was silent and I was sitting at an angle that he could not have seen his phone screen so there is no way he could have known that he got a text so I know for a fact that the text message has nothing to do with him asking for his phone right when the text came.

For background, he is an amazing husband and father. I grew up in a house of four kids and my father never put in any effort to form a significant bond with me or my siblings. My husband, on the other hand, puts in all the effort in the world to spend positive, constructive time with every kid. 13M and 11M would play sports and random games all day if they could so my husband makes sure to spend some time playing catch, basketball, etc with them every day. He plays along with 8F and 6F’s mini tea-parties and their games. He helps a lot with 2M in every way. He always appreciates everything I do for him and the kids and my contribution to our home. He has never raised his voice at me or made me feel like less since I don’t contribute financially. Every evening when he comes home from work, he makes sure that I get some me-time so I can destress from being with the kids and baby all day and so I have some time to read a book, facetime my girlfriends, take a small nap, etc. We go on dates, walks, mini-adventures very often, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with the kids. We have intimacy often. We are both always very affectionate with each other and we always surprise each other with small gifts. In short, he’s the best husband and father I could wish for myself and our kids. I try to be the best wife I can be. I cook his favorite meals, always try to build him up, I help out with his side business however I can, I gave him an amazing family and five children. The thing is if he did step outside our marriage, I wouldn’t even be angry. I would just be disappointed in him and sad. It would mean the end of our marriage and our kids’ lives would be impacted so much. I truly don’t know what more I could do to be a better wife.

My husband is and always has been very physically attractive. Very handsome, super muscular, his hairstyle and facial hair suit him amazingly. Early in our relationship, he would always tell me if other girls tried making a move. At some point, I became somewhat insecure about this and told him that I trusted him 100% and I didn’t want to know if someone tried something unless it was somebody we knew. Since then, all I know about is the two women who have tried flirting with him right in front of me and one of my former friends who asked JUST him to come over at 2am a few years ago. I sometimes feel relatively unattractive if these instances cross my mind but he always reassures me and makes me feel beautiful.

Regarding the co-worker who sent the message, I have met her a few times at company events. She is a few years older than us and works at the same level as my husband. She went through divorce a little over a year ago. 

My husband doesn’t travel for work too often (usually once every three months for 3-4 days) and made sure to never travel when we were pregnant on his own accord. He always facetimes me and the kids each night he’s away and he continued during this trip. I have not slept properly these last four days and have been constantly thinking about every possibility of what this message could mean. My mind has thought of everything from him cheating on me to full on leaving me to it being a platonic message from a colleague to being another woman trying her luck with my husband and him turning her down. I decided the first night that I wouldn’t confront him during his trip and would wait for him to come home to talk to him. On the second night, I couldn’t hide how I was feeling on my face and he could tell I was sad but he couldn’t get me to talk that night. The next day, 13M and 11M brought home some flowers and my favorite chocolate in the evening and said their dad texted them to use their piggy bank money and buy a bouquet and the specific chocolate and he would pay them double when he came back. In my mind, I’m thinking, would a man who’s cheating on his wife in a different state really have his sons bring their mother flowers and chocolate because he knows that she might be sad? 

I spoke to my best friend (aka my husband’s childhood friend who has known him for almost 30 years and was the one who introduced us to each other) and she said that she would never believe my husband was cheating and reassured me that he loved me but that I should speak to him when he comes back to understand the coworker’s message.

My husband will be home in two hours and I’m an anxious mess right now. 13M and 11M are at a sleepover, the girls and baby are sleeping right now. I’m going to wait for my husband to get home and talk to him before we sleep. The thing is I don’t know how to talk to my husband about this and the thought of him cheating makes me want to throw up. I don’t want him to think I’m questioning his loyalty but at the same time, I would sleep much better if I just knew exactly what the relationship is between him and his co-worker. 

How do I even bring this topic up? Am I overthinking? 


r/TwoHotTakes 15h ago

Advice Needed AITAH for a guest wearing long white dress to my bridal shower?

814 Upvotes

I (23F) am getting married to my amazing fiancé (22M) coming up soon! It was a wonderful bridal shower, and everything was great. Family, friends, games, and fun! But the first thing I noticed was my soon-to-be sister-in-law (25F) wearing an all-white long dress. She is getting married soon as well. I am probably just stressed out by all the wedding planning and anticipation, but it did genuinely upset me that she wore it.

I didn’t say anything to her, but when I asked my immediate family about it, they thought it was ridiculous that I would care. They said that she’s getting married too, so maybe she just wanted to wear white. They also said that she probably didn’t know that wearing white to wedding events can be offensive to brides, and told me that wearing white to a bridal shower is normal.

I have been putting a lot of care and thought into whether I wear champagne or a light color to my friend’s and family member’s weddings, and it just hurt that someone wouldn’t even think twice about wearing a fully white dress to a bridal shower. My immediate family I asked about it all got married in the 80’s and they don’t understand the idea of not wearing white to a wedding. I mean, my mom even said her mom basically wore a wedding dress to her own daughter’s wedding! Is that just a generational cultural difference?

BTW, I’m not angry anymore, just more confused that my family doesn’t understand why I was upset. And I’m a bit concerned she would wear white to my actual wedding...

Also, can I wear champagne to someone else’s wedding? I don’t have a consensus on this...


r/TwoHotTakes 6h ago

Listener Write In AITAH for not inviting my dad’s wife to my wedding…?

143 Upvotes

My fiancé (38M) and I (32F) got engaged last August! We have decided to have a small wedding (50 close family and friends) on the coast of the state we live in this September. I told my family who live mostly out of the state, as well as my dad’s family who live out of the county. I recently posted on social that I found my wedding dress. My step mom messaged me shortly after asking when the wedding is going to be. I hadn’t told her about the wedding yet, it honestly slipped my mind when I was considering family to be invited to my wedding. ** Info: My dad died 6 years ago, he and his wife were married for the last 5 years before he died unexpectedly. ( I was 22 when they got married and did not have a close relationship with her). Since he has passed away, I have attended 3/5 Christmas’ I was invited to, and the last time I saw her was a year ago and haven’t heard from her since. I told her when the wedding is, and that she can come with one guest. She responded with, so if all 5 of my children want to come, you’re saying they can’t? To which I responded with.. it’s a small wedding and I haven’t finalized my guest list, but all 20 of them will not be invited to my 50 guest total, wedding. I also reminded her that it is my wedding, and I will invite whoever I want to my wedding. She didn’t respond to my message, so I have decided to not invite her.. does that make me the asshole?


r/TwoHotTakes 7h ago

Advice Needed WIBTAH if I(20F) asked my boyfriend(24M) to stop seeing his ex girlfriend(24F) every two weeks?

35 Upvotes

My(20f) boyfriend(24m) has an ex girlfriend(24f) of about eight years. We’ll call her J. I say about, because they dated on and off due to J cheating on him multiple times and generally treating him horribly. He left her a couple of times and went back, but he never felt happy or fulfilled in their relationship.

In December of 2022, he bought a house with J, and at that point they had three dogs together. He told his family he was unsure about moving in together and he didn’t think he saw a future with J but she was pressuring him into it. She did that with a lot of things, and always wanted everything her way. I have been friends with my boyfriend’s family for four years as I have worked with him and his two siblings. I dog sit for them when they go out of town and get my nails done with his sister, because we were friends first. Because of this, I have been at their house for some holiday decorating, which J ALWAYS took over. It made him mom and sister pretty irritated, and they told me they were grateful I didn’t act in a lot of the ways that she did.

Anyways, things seemed fine for them, until about April of 2023. J started eating dinner at work and hanging out with coworkers that my boyfriend didn’t like. He had made it clear to her that he didn’t want her to hang around them one on one, but she always liked to push his buttons. They got into a petty argument about cleaning the house and it resulted in her essentially ignoring him. He would send her long texts while she was at work trying to fix their relationship, and she would respond with “ok”. I heard all of this while he told his sister at work, and she told me about how terribly J treated him later that night, once he went home. I didn’t start dating my boyfriend until a few months after they broke up. He moved back in with his parents, and we had always gotten along well and decided to give dating a try.

Here’s the thing. The three dogs. One is the mother of the other two puppies. The father was my boyfriend’s dog and best friend, who was very sadly hit by a car a couple years ago. The puppies are 3 and the mother is 5. They are smaller dogs. J was the one who originally bought the mom. ALL of the vet bills, chips, tags, everything, are in my boyfriend’s name. Legally they are his dogs. But he is kind and wanted her to be able to see them, so they switch off “custody” every two weeks. I was fine with this at first especially considering she had a boyfriend at the time (The guy from work she cheated on my boyfriend with.) But recently I have found out (hours or days after) that she has been texting him more frequently with questions about the dogs. Now, these are things she could easily google. I’ve met J a few times and honestly I never really liked her. She has the shady personality I usually try to avoid in my friends so I tried to be polite but keep my distance. I do not like that she has been reaching out to my boyfriend more, especially now that I’ve found out her boyfriend left her. She has made MANY tiktoks and social media posts calling me ugly, saying i’ll never live up to her personality, and honestly being downright violent towards me. Also about how men “always come back to her” and “the long relationship will never be able to stay away from each other.” When I said something about this to my boyfriend and how it made me uncomfortable, he told me to stop looking. I don’t try, it always somehow ends up in my for you page, but whatever. J bought another dog of her own a few weeks ago and asked my boyfriend to help her supervise them all meeting since “they listen to him better.” I asked if I could go along and just stay in the car and he said no, and that he wouldn’t be gone long at all. He was there for over an hour, and it was just the two of them.

I mentioned the other night that if we get engaged at some point, J may have to give up her dog privileges or vice versa. He looked at me like I was stupid and said it would be fine since they could just keep doing this. I trust my boyfriend, i’ve never looked through his phone or seen the messages between the two of them, but this gives me that bad feeling in my gut. My father had multiple affairs on my mother and two of my first boyfriend’s cheated on me. I’m trying to be respectful of him and his life, but i’m really uncomfortable about this. I do not know what to do moving forward. I love him and in other aspects of our relationship he is wonderful. So, WIBTAH if I asked him to stop seeing his ex?


r/TwoHotTakes 14h ago

Advice Needed Settle this silly debate: what date to celebrate?

105 Upvotes

My (28F) boyfriend (30M) and I are approaching our year anniversary together. We were talking the other day and it came up that it was coming up. I asked what date we were celebrating—he swears August 18th, which is the anniversary of our first date. I say September 6th when he officially asked to be exclusive.

As the title suggests, we know this is a silly situation. Know this is not an argument for us, and neither of us are stressing over it, it’s just banter at this point.

Edit to add: once the first date happened, we were exclusive, just hadn’t had the actual conversation until September. I guess I should’ve said, “when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.*”


r/TwoHotTakes 1d ago

Update Update!!! I (24F) told the man I’m talking to (30M) that I am nervous to meet him because I am overweight.

1.4k Upvotes

Hi guys, I do have an update for everyone. I wanted to start by thanking everyone for the very kind comments and encouraging messages. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read this post and give thoughtful advice.

I also wanted to address all of the photos on my hinge profile and instagram are from the past 8 months. None of my old photos from when I was thinner are present on either platform. However, I do feel these photos are more flattering angels of myself.

Now onto the update. An hour after my intitula post he did see and reply to my message. I got super nervous and took some time to calm my nerves before opening and replying. To my absolute delight it was very thoughtful and kind message.

“Op. You were considering waiting and making excuses not to meet???

You’re beyond fine. I appreciate the vulnerability, but you didn’t need to say all of this. However, since you did I’ll say this back. Wherever you’re at is fine! You’re beautiful, and there’s no need to worry. I’m not worried one way or another. Lifestyle, chemistry, and compatibility are what’s important to me when looking at who I’m interested in seeing… not if they’re some arbitrary societal standard of weight or beauty.

If there’s anything I can do to ease that worry, let me know.”

We ended up talking until about 4 in the morning and I’m happy to say that we will be meeting when he is back in the beginning of June.

Thank you so much again! I will maybe give another update in the future here soon.


r/TwoHotTakes 5h ago

Advice Needed AITA for letting my son find out my diagnosis over social media when he wouldn’t talk to me alone

Thumbnail self.AmItheAsshole
8 Upvotes

r/TwoHotTakes 8h ago

Listener Write In AITA for taking a first come first service campsite?

13 Upvotes

Hi guys. I think I’m justified even if I was a bit of an asshole but I’d like an outside opinion of the situation. We planned to go camping memorial day weekend with a few days in advance, and bc everything was reserved for reservation campsites we decided to try our luck with first come first serve sites (FCFS). The rules for the specific park we are staying in are you can only claim a FCFS site when you arrive and if it is not taken by a tent, rv, etc., and you HAVE TO stay the first night you claim it (so if I claim it tonight I have to stay there tonight or else its no longer mine). So we get in late at night and go through the available FCFS sites and find one last one available for a single tent, and a few available for double tents which cost almost twice as much.

We did see a small piece of non official paper with dates from friday to monday but we were there on thursday a whole day ahead. The paper was not a park tag or any official park paper so we figured maybe someone was trying to hold the spot for a friend a site or two away. Again this is not the reservation area we did not steal a reservation.

We took the paper down to put our official claim paper up and pitched out tent for the night as it was pretty late and figured we could deal with it in the morning. Technically we are following all the rules of the park but was this an unjustified asshole move?


r/TwoHotTakes 1h ago

Listener Write In How do I tell my partner my engagement ring is too fragile?

Upvotes

I (29f) got engaged last year (ooo-ahh-cuuute-yay!) to my fiancée (34m) (been together for 6 years) he proposed with a beautiful antique ring. It’s made with both of our birthstones and is very sentimental. He definitely went out of his way to find something that has meaning for us, and I love it! It definitely wasn’t what I was picturing when I imagined my engagement ring, but it’s lovely, matches us, and makes my heart flutter. Unfortunately as soon as I saw it, I was nervous to wear it, the band was really thin, and all the stones are super soft, it’s over 100 years old & I am NOT a gentle lady. I work a physically challenging job, and am constantly moving furniture or digging in dirt, or loading a truck etc, In the year that I’ve worn the ring it’s band has snapped and had to be replaced & beefed up ($$) and now this morning, I woke up to a missing stone. I’m just feeling a little deflated by being so cautious wearing the ring only to have it still break and get damaged. As much as I like the ring I received, like an energetic puppy and its elderly owner, my ring and I are mismatched. Ideally, to circumnavigate this dilemma I’d like to get a new ring that I can wear in its place. It’s not that I want to swap the ring for one that’s more expensive or frivolous, I just want something sturdier and stronger! I also want to avoid constant trips to the jeweller for repairs and replacements.

I think my big fear is that whatever the new ring would look like, it probably won’t look anything like the original ring- I’d maybe go for a moissanite stone in a different cut & setting, and I don’t want him to feel…. Disappointed when we’re out and people mention it, or ask about the upcoming wedding & I’m not wearing the ring he picked. Or self conscious that I didn’t like the original?

I’m sure I’m overthinking this, but how do I approach this without making him feel like I want to “replace” his ring, or make him feel like I’m ignoring his effort?

Also if I did get a new ring, how would it work for the wedding? Would I wear the ring with the missing stone for the day?

Thanks :)


r/TwoHotTakes 1d ago

Advice Needed I resent my boyfriend and I’m not sure how to deal with it

1.6k Upvotes

I F25 and my boyfriend M30 we’ve been off and on for about five years, nothing bad that broke us up just distance and we both aren’t good with calling and texting. We recently moved back into the same town unexpectedly and have started dating again. We’ve been together this time for about 4 months.

We had both talked about never having children, mostly because I couldn’t physically do so after an abdominal surgery. But I had always said how much I’d like to be someday. Someday came sooner than I expected. I found out I was pregnant. We had literally had sex once since we had gotten back together and boom baby town. Because I wasn’t able to carry to full term without complications, or so I thought, I went to my primary doctor and she informed me that my previous doctor was mistaken, and I was able to carry full term with very minor if any complications.

I was ELATED! I’d wanted to be a mom since I was a kid, I am the oldest of all my siblings and truly enjoyed taking care of them… but I put it out of my mind because I thought it wasn’t possible. I told my boyfriend then about the pregnancy and about the truly real possibility that we could be parents. He did not have the same reaction, he didn’t smile, he wasn’t excited…. He wanted to get the abortion… and I was so devastated. I told him that I wouldn’t want to do this without him involved because it wouldn’t be fair to the child to not be wanted by a a parent. He decided he did not want to be a parent, so we went through with the procedure.

Afterwards, in the weeks following, he was not there for me. I was sitting in HIS house without any food because he didn’t bother to go shopping. I had no way of going back to my house because he convinced me to leave my car at my place for the duration and that he would be there if I needed anything. He decided to just go snowboarding, and was gone for 4 hours after he told me he would be home.

I was sitting in pain, crying, devastated and he was just not there. I resent him for that choice, for his decision. I resent myself for not thinking I could do it alone. And I resent myself for going through with it, for believing that he would be there for me afterwards. Now he wants to say that he regrets the decision he made and the choices after but I can’t seem to get over it. Everyone I’m around him I just get mad, and resentful and I just don’t know if I can ever look at him the same or be around him without feeling anger.

What do I do ? Do I leave him? Do I just give it time ? I’m lost and angry.


r/TwoHotTakes 9h ago

Advice Needed Would I be the AH if I stopped letting my daughter go with her grandma?

8 Upvotes

I, 26 f, have a 6 year old daughter who we will call Hannah. Hannah’s paternal grandma has custody of one of her granddaughters, who we will call Josie. Josie is about two years older than Hannah. Josie has a tendency to be mean to other kids including Hannah. Grandma has gotten many calls from the school about Josie’s behavior, including trying to cut another kids hair. Being mean to Hannah is a new thing of hers though, as she was somewhat fine with her before besides the usual kids arguing and being bossy, and it’s turned into an issue to myself and Hannah’s father.

Hannah’s grandma is honestly a very loving and giving grandma. She has helped me a lot in times of need with babysitting and finances. She treats Hannah great and never treats her different from the other grandkids. But, she allows Josie’s bad behavior. She does nothing more than raise her voice here and there. There’s never any real consequences for actions. She allows Josie to continue to use tablets and gaming devices all day including when Josie is in trouble. She gets Josie anything she wants that other kids have, even when not deserved. Which I know as parents we do sometimes, but not as much as this happens with them. Josie has multiple F’s in school, yet Josie still watches tv plays with electronics goes to fun places and gets things from the store every trip. There was no punishment at all for bad grades. In fact, she blames the school/teacher for it instead of Josie. And no I do not need to call CPS as Josie is very well taken care of besides the enabling her behavior.

Well, as I said, recently Josie has been mistreating Hannah. Telling her she doesn’t like her, hitting her and lying about it, trying to hit her with objects, bossing her around, makes her get everything for her instead of getting up, and more. Hannah’s father has yelled at Josie for these actions which has caused her to cry and be babied by grandma. So I stopped allowing Hannah go be alone with Josie. The only time she is with Josie and I’m not around is on the weekends when their grandma takes them to fun things like bowling, trampoline park, the zoo and more. I only allow this because the other grandkids go as well and Hannah loves it and begs to go.

Recently Hannah has revealed to me that Josie has been mean to her on these outings, and to the others and that she lies to the grandma about doing so. This past weekend she said Josie hit her, talked very mean to her and was snatching things from her. Which is just not acceptable. And I’m fed up. I don’t want her around her anymore. But I just can’t help but feel bad for grandma because she is great to Hannah and she also does a lot for us. So I have a feeling she might use that over my head when I no longer allow Hannah to go with her. Not that I would put that above my daughter’s safety because I put my daughter first regardless. But Hannah also loves her grandma and loves to go with her.

Extra detail: Hannah’s dad lives with his mom. which means he lives with Josie. And he does discipline Josie as the father figure in her life, not putting any hands on her or anything though. And he always advocates for our daughter against Josie. We recently broke up which means if he wants to keep Hannah she has to stay there. And while I know he doesn’t allow Josie to treat Hannah poorly, I also know he won’t be watching them closely because he loves to play his game and go with his friends which is a reason we broke up.

So, would I be the AH for not letting her go with her anymore? Or is there a better solution? And what do I do about Hannah staying there with her dad?


r/TwoHotTakes 20h ago

Advice Needed AITA for Thinking About Breaking Up After Supporting My Girlfriend Through an Abortion?

73 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

My girlfriend F20 and I M22 have been together for 2.5 years. Recently, we found out that she accidentally got pregnant out of the blue, and we decided to have an abortion, which happened earlier this week. I was there for her on the day of the abortion and for two days after, providing emotional support and caring for her needs.

Despite being there for her during this difficult time, I'm starting to question if we're truly compatible. I'm heavily involved in sports at a high level, which means I have to be strict about my training, diet, and sleep. My girlfriend, on the other hand, isn't actively involved in any sports. She gets frustrated because she feels we don't spend enough time together, even though I feel we're spending a sufficient amount of time together.

A couple of days ago, she got really mad at me for falling asleep early. I made a post in another subreddit about how she gets upset when I fall asleep because I need my rest for my demanding schedule, and she feels I don't spend enough time with her. She has expressed feelings of depression when we're not together and has mentioned not having anything to live for. She has also brought up suicide at times when she isn’t getting what she wants, and I have a feeling she might be manipulating me in that way.

The key factor for me thinking about breaking up is this recent incident of her getting mad over my need for sleep. I’m struggling to balance her needs with mine and am now thinking about breaking up with her.

I feel terrible for considering a breakup after all the hurt we've been through recently. AITA for thinking about breaking up with her after supporting her through the abortion?


r/TwoHotTakes 1h ago

Advice Needed I found out the man I'm dating is married 5 months into dating and over 7 years of talking.

Upvotes

This is my first post on Reddit so apologies for any mistakes.

I 29F had been talking with "Eric" 31M for about 7 years, I briefly knew him from growing up in the same town and we would just chat regularly, just small talk at first. Slowly he started to make subtle flirtatious remarks toward me at which point I said I wasn't interested, he then slowly started to divulge that he was in a rough relationship, had 2 kids and asked for advice. I told him to go and sort this out with his partner, not me and promptly stopped talking to him for a while.

Well around 8 months ago we started talking again, he said they had broken up and he was in a much better place mentally and had even done lots of self reflecting and whatnot, he seemed quite persistent and having not dated anyone for about 9 years I guess I was flattered. So we just kept chatting like friends and decided to catch-up which quickly lead to us dating around 5 months ago. He has treated me wonderfully so far, he communicates well (or so I thought), he takes me on nice dates and helps out with anything I need.

I quickly found out he was still living with his "ex" and his excuse for not having moved out already was the kids and the financials, not having the money to move out just yet. Weird I figured but I thought I'd give it time and see what happens.

Well one night we were chatting and he was complaining about her never doing much around the house and I told him he was free to leave, he's got multiple places to go and works full time. He very quietly, slowly and shyly stated the reason he hadn't moved out was because they're married and can't divorce until he's moved out in order to prove to the courts they're seperated. To say I was livid and heartbroken was an understatement because not once in the years we had been talking had he ever mentioned marriage, apparently his own family doesn't even know but he tried to tell me he thought he'd told me before, but he never mentioned "wife" ONCE during the months we have been dating, in fact he had not mentioned her name until 2 months into dating. What's worse is by this time he'd started calling me wifey material and saying I'm the first person he's considered marrying, which makes me think he's lying about thinking he'd told me before that he was married.

Cut to know, he claims the divorce process has started, she's apparently writing up something for the courts to file but it's been weeks and he says she's dragging it out so he's seeing a lawyer.

I feel like I'm being played here and unsure of what's going on, I want to trust him but my gut is telling me I'm being played like a fiddle.

I have a hard time discerning whether people are being truthful or not or trusting my own intuition due to growing up with a narcissistic mother and consequently dating an even more abusive person 9 years ago and because of that incident, this is the first person I have dated since then. He's treated me so well, dates, staying up at his families houses, introducing me to all of his friends, taking me on trips, helping out with yard work and speaks to me so gently and lovingly, which made me all the more embarrassed and feeling guilty finding out he's married but he swears nobody knows except his wife and her sister who was a witness to their sudden, quick and quiet court marriage. He says he was bullied into it by her from being asked constantly.

Please give me some advice here, I would very much appreciate it.


r/TwoHotTakes 1h ago

Listener Write In SIL DRAMA

Upvotes

TW MISCARRIAGE AND INFERTILITY I (F 23) and husband (M 24) are expecting baby #2 in July. This pregnancy was not planned and honestly a total shock. Prior to this baby I got pregnant on BC and that ended in a miscarriage. I had talked to my doctor about other BC options as we had a 9 month old at the time and were not ready for another baby for a few years. My doctor assured me it would be hard to get pregnant the month after a loss and it was important to let my body reset before we put me back on BC. Turns out she was wrong and I found out I was pregnant again a month later. We went through many emotions regarding this news as we were not financially or mentally ready for another baby. We are now over the moon and can’t wait to meet this baby.

My SIL has been trying to get pregnant the past 10 months, and having a hard time. When she found out I was pregnant. She had decided to tell the whole family/friend group I got pregnant out of spite and spilled the beans before we could even process the news ourselves. Since, she has been bluntly rude regarding me and how I am as a mother. I thought we were past this drama, as we are now very little contact but she has brought it back up and has turned most of the family/our friends against me. I am now having some complications with this pregnancy and it almost seems like she is enjoying watching me suffer in hopes something will happen to the baby or even me for that matter. My husband has been trying to rekindle things, as him and his brother are very close. Inviting them over, planning trips, etc. I have felt very off about this as I don’t want my child around people who don’t respect me and treat me poorly. Should I try and talk to her for the sake of my husband or just call it a loss?


r/TwoHotTakes 2h ago

Listener Write In What is something that makes you roll your eyes the moment someone says or does it?

2 Upvotes

Mine? When you’re in a discussion or an argument and someone says “I can say what I want! It’s my freedom of speech!” Or “It’s a free country!” I swear if I rolled my eyes any harder they’d get stuck.


r/TwoHotTakes 3h ago

Listener Write In AITAH if animals are a deal breaker?

2 Upvotes

Aitah(23F) if it's a deal breaker if I can't adopt a cat after his dog passes? My (26yo) bf absolutely hates cats. He has a 5/6 yo dog that I care for. (He supplies food) I did have a 7 month old puppy but I had to rehome him due to behavioral adjustment issues with his dog. I personally do not prefer a dog but it's manageable for me. He doesn't engage w his dog when he's home after work or on his off days. The dog all around annoys him. He has said I can rehome him but since he's aggressive w other dogs and due to his age I won't. And I also don't want to be hated for rehoming him either. My cat ran away while on vacation (strictly indoor) 3 yrs ago. He would have been the same age as his dog. Everyday I still wish my cat was able to be here w me. Is it insensitive of him to tell me I can never own a cat?


r/TwoHotTakes 4h ago

Listener Write In I’m in love with a good friend and I don’t think the feelings will ever go away

2 Upvotes

I (24F) am in love with a really good friend of mine (24F), let’s call her “Tina.”

First, a bit of background information. We don’t directly work with each other, but our offices are in the same hallway so we see each other fairly regularly. We met about two and a half years ago, but it wasn’t until less than two years ago that we became friends.

She is bisexual and I knew that, and although I was straight, I loved flirting with her. So we had a really flirty friendship. We hung out and always had a great time.

About three months into the friendship (~one and a half years ago) we were at a club together really drunk. I really wanted to kiss her, and I had been thinking about it for a few weeks at that point, so I did.

Now, keep in mind that I have never had an interest in women before this point. I have had two boyfriends, and never felt any kind of sexual attraction towards women.

But I liked flirting with Tina, and I could tell she was attracted to me. We made out for a while at the club that night, and it was fun.

Then, for months, we were just flirty friends. I wanted it to happen again but I didn’t know how to make it happen.

Until we were in her car and I had some liquid courage in me and I decided to kiss her. She reciprocated and things turned a little spicy.

It slowly became more common where we’d make out here and there, until one night, we had sex.

After that, we had sex a handful of times more, but we also hung out and acted just like friends alone. It was honestly an amazing situation. I was having the best sex of my life with someone that I was growing to deeply trust and care about. I felt more of a connection with Tina than with anyone else, ever before.

Two months after we had sex for the first time, she told me she didn’t think it was a good idea for us to hook up anymore.

It was around this same time that I finally accepted that I was sexually attracted to both women and men.

Now, of course my friendship with Tina mattered more to me than sex, but I was sad. I enjoyed the physical intimacy and emotions that came with it. Nevertheless, I accepted it, and decided to use this as an opportunity to explore my newly discovered sexual desires.

I dated a few other people, but didn’t find a connection yet. Meanwhile, Tina and I remained friends, but didn’t see each other nearly as much. When we did, there was almost no flirting, and we didn’t share as much about our lives with each other.

About six months ago, I realized I loved her. Like I was (am) in love with her.

We hadn’t been as close of friends for a while, and something happened in my personal life that upset me. In retrospect, it wasn’t a huge deal. But regardless, Tina spent an hour on the phone with me calming me down. She was busy, and we both knew that, but she insisted that we stay on the phone until she was sure I was okay.

See, the thing is, this isn’t really in Tina’s character. At least not the past few years. She’s one of the most closed off people I’ve ever met. I feel like I hardly know anything about her and we have spent a lot of time together over our last ~2 years of friendship.

She has helped me through some really hard and stressful times in my personal life. She used to drop almost anything to talk me out of a panic attack. She rarely voiced her feelings (of friendship, that is) to me, but I saw the ways that she treated me, and that was how I knew how much she cared.

But she treated me differently than other friends of ours. She is an incredibly generous person in general, but I could definitely tell that she did more for me than for some of her other friends who she knew for longer.

And it was truly how she made me feel that made me fall in love with her. She made me feel safe. She made me feel supported. She made me feel worthy. All because of the way she treated me.

I have NEVER been able to fall asleep while touching a partner. It makes me so anxious.

Yet Tina remains the only person I have ever slept soundly with all night, while she held me to her chest. And that feels like a sign.

There are other genuine signs (coincidences and such) that I don’t want to get into any detail about, but I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason and it really seems like Tina was meant to be in my life.

So anyways, I realized I was in love with her. And at first, I thought that I should just keep it to myself because no good could come from telling her. I knew she wouldn’t tell me even if she did feel the same way, and I didn’t want to make our friendship weird because it was really important to me.

But after a few days of thinking about it, I decided to tell her. I always struggle with the what if’s in life, and I never wanted to wonder what might have happened if I had told her. I also believe that people should never hesitate to say how they feel and to always live in the moment because life is short and you never know when you won’t be able to say something anymore, or they won’t be able to hear it. Lastly, I wanted to tell her, because I wanted her to know that she was loved so deeply.

I wrote down what I wanted to say, and I met up with her and read it to her. I told her I realized I had been falling more and more every day since we became friends. I told her all of the things I love about her: some of our common interests, her heart, her passion for her job. I told her I wanted her to know this, and that I didn’t expect her to say anything.

She thanked me for the kind things I said but she was shocked. (Understandably so). She knew I had feelings for her, and that was one of the reasons why she broke off hooking up with me. But I think she never knew they were this strong, and she didn’t want to lead me on. In the end, she didn’t really say anything in response. But that was okay. I just wanted her to know.

After the lack of response set in though, I was absolutely crushed. We didn’t speak for two months. I cried my eyes out for a few days, then decided to move on and focus on me.

I decided to reach out after 2 months of space from each other and we caught up. It went really well, and I was excited to hopefully start our friendship anew. And we did, but we weren’t as close. I wanted to be, but I didn’t try to be because I knew Tina didn’t want that.

I know Tina felt bad for hurting me (she didn’t do anything wrong, but she felt bad for not reciprocating my feelings), and she didn’t want to put me through that again. For this reason I knew she’d always keep me at arms length even if I tried to get closer to her.

For the past four or so months we have been texting occasionally, exchanging memes, and seeing each other around work every once in a while.

But a few nights ago, I spent time outside of work with her for an extended period. We were at a bar with some mutual friends. We had fun and laughed a lot. There was nothing flirty or anything like that. I drove her and her roommate home, and that was that.

But I can’t stop thinking about her again. My feelings feel as strong as ever. It’s been 3 days and I truly think I will be deeply in love with her for a while.

Obviously, she will have a place in my heart forever, but part of me also struggles to picture a future with a different spouse where I don’t think about her and imagine “what if?” for the rest of my life.


r/TwoHotTakes 7h ago

Listener Write In Struggling to Confess My Feelings Due to Insecurities and Cultural Expectations

3 Upvotes

Sure, here’s a revised version of your confession:

Title: Too Nervous to Confess My Feelings Because of Body Insecurities and Cultural Differences

Hi everyone,

I’m a 22-year-old woman who has been working at McDonald’s for the last four years. In 2021, a handsome guy, who is now 25, started working there too. Over time, we got to know each other, and he has told me multiple times that he likes me and even wants to marry me.

The problem is, I have deep body insecurities that make me too nervous to confess my feelings to him, even though I really like him too. Every time I think about telling him how I feel, my insecurities hold me back.

Additionally, because of my religious background (I’m Muslim), he would need to come to my father’s house to formally ask for my hand in marriage. This is a significant cultural step, and I’m embarrassed and confused about how to handle this situation. I’m not sure how my family will react or if they’ll accept him.

I feel stuck and unsure of what to do. I don’t want to lose this guy, but my insecurities and cultural obligations are overwhelming. Can anyone offer advice on how to navigate this situation? How can I overcome my fears and move forward?

I would like to here takes on this

Love you from Amsterdam