r/TwoHotTakes 28d ago

Settle this silly debate: what date to celebrate? Advice Needed

My (28F) boyfriend (30M) and I are approaching our year anniversary together. We were talking the other day and it came up that it was coming up. I asked what date we were celebrating—he swears August 18th, which is the anniversary of our first date. I say September 6th when he officially asked to be exclusive.

As the title suggests, we know this is a silly situation. Know this is not an argument for us, and neither of us are stressing over it, it’s just banter at this point.

Edit to add: once the first date happened, we were exclusive, just hadn’t had the actual conversation until September. I guess I should’ve said, “when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.*”

Final edit: again, this was never an argument for us; we’ve seen each other every day since the first date. I see the hole where some of yall are assuming I’m the one who was out and about and that’s why I have a problem going with the August date—thanks for that insight. Thank the rest of yall for sharing your little love stories🥰 the mutual decision is we’re going to celebrate both, because why the hell not. The 18th we’ll have first date dinner and a version of the arcade. The 6th we’ll have a nice little dinner.

112 Upvotes

249 comments sorted by

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137

u/dysautonomic_mess 28d ago

We picked a date in January bc January's miserable lol

34

u/rapt2right 28d ago

My wedding anniversary and first date anniversary are both in January. The first date by chance and the wedding because we were gathering the clans in Vegas and figured the folks who live in the coldest parts of the country would be pleased with a legit reason to bail on winter for a minute. (We were right, half of my husband's family made a full week of it)

8

u/MaximumGooser 28d ago

Hey my birthday is a good thing in January sooooooooooo

2

u/Lady-of-Shivershale 27d ago

Man, I hate the beginning of the year. My birthday is the first week of January. My husband's is towards the end of February. These come after Halloween, American Thanksgiving (not a thing in my country), Christmas, New Year, and various other birthdays on my side.

We got married in January because that's when we had time off work.

In February, everyone's desperately celebrating Valentine's Day, and we have our eyes closed while loudly singing.

If we ever move, we're going to tell everyone that our wedding anniversary is in August or something. Winter is overwhelming with celebrations. We have nothing in summer.

2

u/MaximumGooser 27d ago

Lol yes, we have our first daughter beginning of December, mine January, my partners March, plus all the usual holidays and the MIL birthday too, we had nothing between March and Halloween until having second daughter end of July. Just have a baby and time the birthday for summer problem solved 😉😉😉😅

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216

u/No-Lingonberry-2468 28d ago

Aug 18 is the anniversary of your first date, which imo is still worth celebrating maybe even by recreating that specific date

September 6 is the anniversary of the official start to your relationship, also worth celebrating

I mean, why choose just one?

118

u/quantumgap 28d ago

I said let’s celebrate both, too lol

61

u/pineychick 28d ago

Start on the 18th and let the celebration continue through the 6th. You can do a little nice thing each day (doesn't have to be fancy stuff the whole time) and then maybe end with a special dinner or something.

Honestly, there's a lot of sadness in this world. When good things happen, I believe in making the most of them. 💜

35

u/quantumgap 28d ago

This makes me overwhelmingly happy, to the point of tears😭 thank you

4

u/No-Lingonberry-2468 28d ago

Absolutely do it, love fades but this keeps it alive!

1

u/pineychick 28d ago

🥰🥰🥰💜🫂

5

u/No-Lingonberry-2468 28d ago

Love this, you’re cool as heck

4

u/pineychick 28d ago

Awwwwwww, shucks. ☺️😊🥰

5

u/Mandaconda9 28d ago

I was surprised and felt guilty I didn't know I'd be so into my now husband when we met and the year was getting close, I asked and he had already remembered our first date and held onto that date and I say you go with the first date because I can tell it meant something to him the way he said it so certainly. ❤️

7

u/quantumgap 28d ago

He describes our first date in detail to people frequently, and it surprises me every time. At some point, maybe three months in, he made the comment that he knew this was it when I walked in the door.

2

u/Mandaconda9 16d ago

😭💕

3

u/MissKat83 28d ago

We celebrate both, too. First date, exclusive date, and the date my partner and I matched on Tinder 😊

tinderversary

33

u/NotUnhappy-24 28d ago

Looks like you have to celebrate from Aug 18- Sept 6!

35

u/BlurryThoughtsForAll 28d ago

Info: were either of you still actively seeing/talking to other people from the first date until you became exclusive? If the answer is no then go with the first date but if yes then go with the exclusive date. Essentially go with a date that only involves the two of you.

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16

u/rosiedoll_80 28d ago

My partner and I celebrate our anniversary on the date that we had our convo about being exclusive.

9

u/ReasonableProgram144 28d ago

I’d do both! My husband and I celebrate on 4/20 because we know we got together around then, but forgot the actual day. We also try to do something in May around our first vacation, which was when we said “I love you” for the first times. Honestly more reasons to celebrate in a relationship are always good!

7

u/Basil505 28d ago

Ours is the first day we boned. Comin up on 15 years next month.

3

u/VulturCult 28d ago

Comin

Nice

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5

u/Paigeeeeei 28d ago

September 6th!!! Me and my bf consider the day we made it official our anniversary July 26th

6

u/chaotic_cookies 28d ago

We went on our first date on June 19th and it was absolutely perfect, we really got to know each other and had an amazing time together.

We made it official just before the 4th of July, we were laying in bed and he said he wanted me to go with him to his family's celebration for the weekend and didn't know how to introduce me. Very casual, kind of a "hey, we doing this?" sort of thing.

We chose to celebrate our first date as the anniversary because there was more meaning and emotion to it for us. Pick whichever date holds more sentimental value to you, or just celebrate both! Go big or go home, right?

6

u/roseydaisydandy 28d ago

My husband and I met 9/20, we had our first date a week later and had the "talk" a couple weeks after. We celebrate Sep 20th, even got married on that date. Why don't he plan a date for Aug 18th and you plan a date Sep 6th

4

u/Equal-Brilliant2640 28d ago

Split the difference? And celebrate on Aug 27 😂

3

u/zyzmog 28d ago

Why not both? Twice as many reasons to be happy.

This isn't something to waste time or energy arguing about.

3

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 28d ago

Were you still seeing other people after your first date? If so, choose the "we're exclusive" date.

3

u/Mindless-Location-19 28d ago

It doesn't have to be a day, it can be a festival from 8/18 to 9/6. You own personal Kwanzaa.

6

u/Jaybird6249 28d ago

August 18

2

u/Next-Firefighter4667 28d ago

Whatever you want. We don't celebrate our wedding anniversary because it was an elopement purely meant to make our life easier in regards to legal crap with a baby on the way. We decided before we were even married that we would continue to celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss, September 27th, which was when we decided to be official. We had been planning on getting married that day anyway, instead we ended up doing it the February before because I got pregnant and the wedding was going to be cutting it close (1st due date September 15th). Well, we were right, our daughter was born ON the day we were going to wed. So that date is more important to us in many ways. Obviously, as she gets older, we'll prioritize her birthday over our anniversary, but that is still the day we celebrate, not some random day we were able to fit into the court system ASAP.

2

u/Red40sharts 28d ago

This is why we got married on our one year “exclusive” anniversary to make the dates the same so one celebration date for it all lol I would pick September 6th but there’s nothing wrong with also celebrating August 18th if it means a lot to him. You could make a tradition for each date! August 18th could be a sweet date night and September 6th could be something else like a gift exchange etc

2

u/NoFly3367 28d ago

Sept 6. My boyfriend and I use the date when things began with titles. That to me is when I realize we took a step to something more than dating. 😌

2

u/wafflefungus 28d ago

my partner and i are also having this conversation. i think personally the date you guys became official, but still maybe have a mini celebration for the first date date bc why not?

2

u/Creative_Key_9488 28d ago

My husband and I have multiple anniversaries. For most of them we just cook a nice meal and play some boardgames for the evening to celebrate. But it’s fun!

2

u/beanangelbug 28d ago

My personal opinion is September 6th. In between the first date (August 18th) and the date of exclusivity (September 6th) you were interested in each other but very well could have been entertaining other people. So I think that the day you make it official with someone is technically your anniversary.

If you get engaged and then get married a year later you don’t celebrate your wedding anniversary on your engagement date. You can still very well celebrate your first date-iversary with a date, but officially it’s the date you became exclusive.

2

u/Johnfinnease 28d ago

Why not both? Wife and I met in September, been an item ever since, and got married in October. We celebrate both. The September one has a little more importance to it cause it's what kicked it off but we honor the marriage date for obvious reasons. Life is short. Celebrate more often, even if it's just for breathing today.

2

u/Savings_Kangaroo_890 28d ago

I am running into this exact issue with people outside of our relationship, lol We met in April and had pur first date later in April (on his brother's birthday), but he asked me out in May.

I chose to celebrate when he asked me ourt, simply out of respect for his brother.

Every year for 4 years now, his family, without fail, asks each of us why we celebrate in May. They have been told time and time again why, but they just can't wrap their heads around the fact we don't want to miss out/take away from his little brother's day.

2

u/Globewanderer1001 28d ago

18 Aug. First date.

2

u/Enough_Ad_7577 28d ago

first date date, official relationship date, wedding date. we celebrate them all. nothing crazy but a nice dinner once every few months is nice

2

u/CindersHonner123 28d ago

We did our official BF/GF status date; despite going on dates and talking nightly together for 4 months. I was terrified to loose him as a friend if we became official, despite agreeing we were 'dating' in these months.

Married 10yrs now and he's still my best friend.

2

u/certifiablegeek 28d ago

If you're a Libra, don't choose. If you're not a Libra, don't choose. I like to celebrate days ending in Y

2

u/Vast-Description8862 28d ago

Lmao, date to be exclusive…you push too hard for this and he’s gonna assume it’s because you were sleeping with other dudes during the first three weeks you dated. I it sounds like you were both openly non exclusive so if that’s what it is I get it, but do you want that stuck in your boyfriend’s head? I’ve never heard of someone’s anniversary being after they started dating

1

u/quantumgap 28d ago

Lmfao there is no pushing from me. Not a single reason to push anyone to any decision. He’s literally been the one to initiate the talks about long term plans, the first one to say I love you, the first to mention marriage.

2

u/davidcornz 28d ago

Women will day 6th men will say 19th. Tell him you were seeing other guys inbetween. And see how strong that relationship is. 

1

u/Silent-Independent21 28d ago

You mean…just tell him the truth? Lol

2

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 28d ago

My partner and I chose the first date we started talking on the phone (we met long distance), because that was the first day we really connected, even though we'd been chatting casually before that.

I let him know that I wanted to give him a chance, and I couldn't do that, if I was still going on dates and chatting with other guys, and he agreed that he didn't want to talk to anyone else while we figured out if there was something more there.

Well, there certainly was more! We now live together, because we failed at long distance 🤣

We celebrated our one year anniversary a couple months ago and couldn't be happier 😁 🍾 ❤️

2

u/HowYaLikeMeow 28d ago

My partner and I use both dates as an excuse to celebrate. It helps give us flexibility too... if we're too busy to do something special for the day we met, we can plan for the day we made it official. Been this way for 10+ years now! ;)

2

u/YuansMoon 28d ago

How many guys did you hook up with between August 18th and September 6th?

1

u/Consistent_Spell_424 28d ago

That part. I think that's why she doesn't want to backdate the relationship and give him pushback.

1

u/quantumgap 28d ago

Damn, yall are presumptive.

2

u/lapidaryleporidae 28d ago

OK, this is easy. He picks a way to celebrate together on August 18th, and you pick something for September 6th.

2

u/Severe_Airport1426 28d ago

I'd go with the first date because that was the start

2

u/SunshineFlowerPerson 28d ago

Celebrate every day

2

u/goodniteangelg 28d ago

My fiancee and I also had this debate.

We celebrate both. It’s just part one and part two.

2

u/jlj1979 28d ago

Honestly. I’m not even sure when our anniversary is or how many years we are together because everything before him doesn’t exist. I have celebrated my life with him everyday since I met him and I will every day until til I die. Anniversaries are stupid.

2

u/cthulhusmercy 28d ago

I would celebrate the date in which you two became exclusive and, presumably, started calling each other “boyfriend/girlfriend.”

You can totally go out for dinner on your first date anniversary, but I don’t think it’s as special. At that point, you probably didn’t think it was going anywhere or you guys were just meeting or whatever the story is. It’s not as special as the day you both decided to commit to only being with each other.

2

u/Ok_Application_6479 28d ago

OK good. I'm glad that it's just banter. My wife and I have been married for 30 years and have good fun with this kind of stuff so I am more than happy to step in with my wisdom and settle this once and for all🤣🤣🤣. Your 1 year anniversary is when you became exclusive. First date? The day of the first date will always be remembered with fondness but it's no "anniversary".

2

u/FishyBoi_i 28d ago

August is when you started dating therefore it is your anniversary

2

u/QueenSema 28d ago

I've been with my husband 14 years. We celebrate the first weekend I spent at his house. We were completely undefined and did not officially become a couple until Oct.

We also celebrate our wedding anniversary in June, but that one is only 8 years.

You go with the first date. Obviously.

2

u/Gold-Employment-370 28d ago

Me and my now fiancé chose to celebrate our anniversary as our first date which was March 6th. He asked me to be his girlfriend April 15th and that date is still special to me, but like you guys, we were pretty much exclusive since our first date. It’s a wonderful thought to celebrate both dates! But as the time goes on, I feel as though you’ll have to pick one to settle on. It’s whatever you guys choose and can agree upon! For us, our first date just felt like it was the beginning of the end and that in itself is a milestone to be appreciated and celebrated. April 15th will always hold a special place in my heart, but I knew on March 6th that that was it for me!

2

u/Aaronrlc9 28d ago

On one hand the number combination 8/18 has a pattern while 6/9(9/6) can be a unique number too.

As far as dating however, I've always classed date you became gf/bf as the true anniversary.

2

u/RareGeometry 28d ago

We are married but we celebrate our wedding anniversary, our first date, and when we got engaged. Our paths officially merged in person and from there on in from our first date, so that seems valid.

2

u/agree_to_disconcur 28d ago

Why can't you celebrate both? My wife and I have all sorts of dates. First kiss, first oral, first sex, exclusive etc. it's all relative. Celebrate as many dates as you can.

2

u/DishRevolutionary593 27d ago

My wife and I celebrate our first date, engagement and wedding anniversaries.

2

u/Bright_Ad8511 26d ago

my girlfriend and i were 100% exclusive and basically living together a month before we started dating but we only celebrate the day she asked me out. but we also have a cool anniversary so that’s probably why 2/22/22

2

u/Kaestar1986 28d ago

I knew a guy (both 37, same month same year) since we were 18 and we had a long, crazy, entangled time with each other: off-and-on friends, frenemies, enemies, FWB, everything except actual dating. 2015 we lost contact completely. Fast forward to March 2023 we randomly found each other on a dating app, started up again but he didn’t want labels. We fell hard and fast, and in August he adjusted one of his rings and put it on me, told me “we’re marred.” I call him my unofficial husband, he corrects me to wife when I say “girlfriend” 😍. Ipso facto, we have two dates as well. I consider our anniversary to be the day we saw each other again, since we were glued at the hip immediately.

1

u/Divine_in_Us 28d ago

Celebrate both.

1

u/SpottyMollusc 28d ago

This is so funny because August 18th is our anniversary, both of our first date and when we realised we only wanted to date each other and were exclusive!

3

u/quantumgap 28d ago

This is comical. Are yall us? An immediate “I don’t want anyone else” for both of us lol

2

u/SpottyMollusc 28d ago

Could be, we have a couple more years on you though (35f and 36m) so we need to get our shit together before we get old and saggy and set in our ways!

1

u/rapt2right 28d ago

Why not both?

1

u/anivarcam 28d ago

As anniversary, Sep 6th. You can commemorate Aug 18, maybe revisiting the place where the first date took place.

1

u/mylongdecember12 28d ago

My now husband and I celebrate both. July was our first date and we always do something small like go get ice cream, etc.

September is when we made it official and in the past have celebrated that a bit bigger with a weekend getaway, big date night, etc. We picked our wedding date to be close to our September “official” anniversary and plan on trying to do something big between those dates each year moving forward (they’re only 4 days apart). It’s our first year of attempting this so we’ll see how that plays out 😂

1

u/littlepinkgrowl 28d ago

We celebrate what is your August 18th!

1

u/rstock1962 28d ago

First date imo.

1

u/Afraid_Temperature65 28d ago

Typically, I'd go with first date date, at least until when and if you marry, then if you're only doing one anniversary per yr that's the one.

1

u/ArtPsychological3299 28d ago

We chose to celebrate the first date, but my partner knows I wasn’t exclusive with him until a few weeks later and he didn’t actually “make it official” until several months in because he had assumed it already was official once I stopped seeing other people. Haha I guess this is why dating anniversaries are so silly!!

I think it’s whatever date makes the most sense based on your situation. I’d agree with you - when it was official. We chose first date because we don’t remember the exact date we made it official, and, making it the official date would mean discrediting several months just because we hadn’t had a particular conversation yet.

1

u/Publius69420 28d ago

I mean I’d always thought it goes off when you’re officially together but what do I know. My year anniversary with my girl is next January 13. But if we used your bf’s reasoning we’d have celebrated our anniversary at the beginning of this month because our first date was May 6 lol.

1

u/Dangerous_Pattern_92 28d ago

No law against celebrating both to my knowledge. He can surprise you with his and you can surprise him with yours, you can make it a fun challenge as to who plans the best celebration!

2

u/quantumgap 28d ago

This is actually a good idea. Part of our first date was a little nerdiest shirt contest. Have a little challenge on date day every year. Thanks!

1

u/Little-Aardvark3540 28d ago

My bf and I chose the date we went exclusive as well. Unfortunately it’s early December, I wish it was like May or June 😂

1

u/donutone232 28d ago

First date in my book, fwiw.

1

u/Beginning-Pass-3243 28d ago

Compromise and pick a date half way between those dates and say that's it

1

u/Crystalina86 28d ago

I have the same issue. I have decided we will be celebrating first date because we became exclusive on his birthday. But only because of that. Otherwise, I’d use the exclusive date.

1

u/Consistent_Editor_15 28d ago

Celebrate both days!! They’re both significant parts of your love store.

1

u/Kylie754 28d ago

Celebrate both.

We celebrate our first date anniversary as well as our wedding anniversary. Our first date anniversary is today- 22 years.

1

u/Status_Strategy7045 28d ago

Count the days between the dates and celebrate in the middle. Win-win. Or do a three part celebration. LOL

1

u/Defiant_Chapter_3299 28d ago

Me and my husband celebrate 3 times for dating milestones.

April when we started dating long distance.

October i moved in with him.

August we married.

1

u/polar_bear_14 28d ago

Sept 6th because it’s my birthday.

1

u/SolaceInfinite 28d ago

Aug 18th you go on a date, talk, flirt, all tat fun stuff. Don't have the sex until the 6th that you would've otherwise had that night.

1

u/Illustrious-Mind-683 28d ago

Put the dates in a hat and draw one out if you can't agree. Personally, I would go with the first date. You could go crazy and celebrate both.

1

u/EitherRespect230 28d ago

So here’s how my husband I and I look at it. We started our relationship 2-28-09 We became engaged 2-28-20 We got married at the court house (because we did t see the point in spending money on a wedding to party when we don’t party… worked better for us) on 7-10-23

We figure our actual anniversary is 2-28 but we do acknowledge our ‘wedding’ anniversary for years officially married. We held off longer than we should just for tax purposes

1

u/DarkOmen597 28d ago

We went with first date.

1

u/vilepixie 28d ago

September 6th for an official anniversary, since there was no exclusivity before then, but nothing wrong with acknowledging both!

1

u/WarStrange5806 28d ago

Wait….. is it normal for people to go on a date but then ask again to be exclusive I’ve never experienced this in relationships

1

u/bookreader-123 28d ago

We did the date we became official and our wedding date. Those are the same so easy to celebrate 😂

1

u/Yiayiamary 28d ago

Celebrate both! More fun!

1

u/postdotcom 28d ago

The day you became official is, in my opinion, your anniversary. But hey celebrate both why not!

1

u/BlissGlass 28d ago

Celebrate both, life is short!

1

u/ewlyn 28d ago

My husband and I celebrate the date we met. This year was our 32nd anniversary.

1

u/BacupBhoy 28d ago

Apparently it’s the day you first ended up in bed.

Apparently.

1

u/LewsTherinIsMine 28d ago

We picked the day we boned for the first time.

1

u/Icy_Reception_1785 28d ago

Yall started dating at first date. Easy choice

1

u/originaljackburton 28d ago

Life is short. Celebrate both. Celebrate everything. That's speaking from a perspective of a 50 year marriage to a wonderful wife.

1

u/ExcitingActive8649 28d ago

I would go for the first date you actually were exclusive, not the date you declared yourselves exclusive.  So now you obviously need a good discussion about when exactly the last time each of you slept with someone else was.  Ooh, this could be a fun activity for the anniversary of your first date!

/s

1

u/ravenlovesart 28d ago

When you became a couple. First date is too much.

1

u/Happy_Doughnut_1 28d ago

the date you made it official.

1

u/CardboardTick 28d ago

This sounds like you weren’t exclusive between your first date and the “exclusive” date… and you’re just looking for a clarification for your own sake?

1

u/ChipChippersonFan 28d ago

I vote for first date. I think that sounds more romantic than "The date we agreed to stop f****** other people."

1

u/dies_irae-dies_illa 28d ago

Don’t tell me what to do.

1

u/TNJDude 28d ago

It's whatever you both agree upon. With my BF and I, it was the date we met.

Have two anniversaries!

1

u/kingchik 28d ago

Tbh I’d flip a coin if you disagree. Both are totally valid!

1

u/davesmissingfingers 28d ago

My husband and I went with first date. Which also happened to be my birthday. Much easier for us to remember.

1

u/Tymora_the_lucky 28d ago

Which would you rather get married on? I know 1) it’s still very early and 2) a lot of people don’t pick their anniversary as the day they get married. But if it’s just for banter…

1

u/Fallout4Addict 28d ago

You're both right, and you should celebrate both!

If for no other reason than your (dare I say it), male partner remembered the date of your 1st ever date! That's rare enough to celebrate on its own.

Let's face it anniversaries are their to celebrate being together, it doesnt mean buying presents or spending lots of money to make memories, its just a great reason to spend quality time with your partner reminding each other why you love each other over everyone else. You get to do it twice!

Go forth and enjoy 😉

1

u/Obse55ive 28d ago

Honestly I would go by first date. I married my husband on the same date as our first date specifically so we would have the same anniversary date.

1

u/sheneededahero 28d ago

Both. Always choose both.

1

u/drumhound 28d ago

We always celebrate two anniversaries every month. The first day we reunited and the day of our actually anniversary. It's been 17 and 15 years and we still try to be the first to say, "Happy anniversary" every 7th and 18th.

1

u/schwagpole 28d ago

Celebrate both as they are meaningful!

1

u/Spiritual_Average638 28d ago

I totally get this.

We went in our first date on March 24th, and “official” April 23rd.

We have known each other well over 15 years and actually went to high school together before that.

We couldn’t decide what day to celebrate.

Every month on the 23-24th we “celebrate”.

For example I mentioned it last night and we hugged and kissed. And he text me this morning at work “happy anniversary” (after he dropped me off as we both forgot so no bigggie lol). We got engaged August 29th very close to midnight and he swore it was past midnight, but the pictures I took confirmed it was the 29th.

You guys can celebrate one or the other OR both. Whatever you guys want to do.

1

u/RidgyFan78 28d ago

I’d celebrate neither.

Birthdays, Xmas, wedding anniversary are what we celebrate. The rest is a ploy to get you to spend money on things you don’t need.

1

u/Shot_Ask7570 28d ago

First date

1

u/RelyingCactus21 28d ago

Exclusive date.

1

u/Medusa_Alles_Hades 28d ago

Celebrate both dates!

1

u/SuspiciousLock8962 28d ago

Hy husband and i celebrate the day we made it official. Aug 22. We had our first date and "dessert" on Aug 5th, we met each other sometime in early June.

1

u/kelluminatii 28d ago

When I first met my now partner, we were long distance. We talked a bunch at first and the first time I flew out to see him it was Feb 13-15. It just happened to be the timing that worked well for both of us. Things went great in person and we made it official on Feb 14. However, I didn’t want to be that couple with a Valentine’s Day anniversary lmao. So, instead I compromised and we now celebrate the 13th, 14th, and 15th 😛. We just hit our four year and now live together so, it’s worked well.

Anywho, moral of my story is that I agree with everyone saying to celebrate August 18th to September 6th. It’s fun to have something that feels unique!

1

u/IcyLog2 28d ago

My real one year anniversary will be on Halloween, but we decided to make it the day we met instead (about a week previous), just to make it easier

1

u/Consistent_Spell_424 28d ago

Men are the gatekeepers of relationships, so he's backdating the anniversary to when you 1st started dating, regardless of the level of exclusivity. That date is significant to him, especially if he remembers it. In his eyes, he probably already saw someone special and saw a future with. But you are choosing this to disagree on and make it more complicated than it needs to be. Unless there was some really trifling stuff that went down prior to you being exclusive that you don't want to consider part of your relationship timeline, wby does it even matter?

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u/Exotic_Flight_6179 28d ago

My husband and I celebrate the day we made it official

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u/nonstop2nowhere 28d ago

Why not both? More celebrations can't generally speaking be worse!

My husband and I got married on a leap day. Lots of people can't figure out why we'd want fewer wedding anniversaries, but they forget this is prime antiversary territory: 3 years we celebrate Feb 28 and Mar 1, the 4th it's on Feb 28, 29 and Mar 1.

Embrace the celebrations that work best for two of you and enjoy!

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u/Other-Ad8876 28d ago

August 18th

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u/Doodlecat5366 28d ago

Celebrate both lol. My husband and I celebrate our original anniversary and our wedding anniversary.

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u/as1126 28d ago

Use every occasion to celebrate. Life is short.

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u/Silly_Bid_2028 28d ago

I'd go with the 8/18 date but then what the hell do I know. Split the difference and go with 8/28

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u/Maleficent-Set5461 28d ago

First date anniversary

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u/wishinguponthedream 28d ago

Our anniversary is the day I asked him to be my boyfriend! We begun talking in late august, saw each other multiple times throughout the year, and well, november is a beautiful month.

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u/Content_Shopping9886 28d ago

I would choose the day you made it official, just my opinion.

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u/TheDaveStrider 28d ago

i celebrate the date we became exclusive personally. which is before our first date, because neither of us dated anyone else

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u/SnarkyIguana 28d ago

My boyfriend and I can’t decide if we started dating on the 24th of June or the 26th (because we both forgot lmao) so we have an Anniversary Week now. We just spend all week going on dates and watching movies and in general hangin’ out. Maybe you guys need an anniversary month 😂

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u/staybrutal 28d ago

We don’t remember the “official” date, but it was Carnival in SF, so that’s when we acknowledge it. This weekend 23 years! Woohoo!🥂💋😻🎠🎡🎢🥓🍔🎟️🎉🥳🎈🎊🎁🍾

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u/DaisywithAsideofSass 28d ago

Why not celebrate both dates?

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u/QueenB1024 28d ago

I am feeling you. We started as friends with benefits on a certain day. Then, the day it became official. And now we are married. Someone help. Since we started, it has been no one but he and I together. No strings didn't last beyond the first night.

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u/RandJitsu 28d ago

First date should be the celebration unless you were dating other people before the “exclusive” talk.

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u/UnusualSeries5770 28d ago

y not both?

seriously tho, do something to celebrate both dates

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u/meggie_mischief 28d ago

My bf and I do both our first date and when we were serious.

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u/iBeFloe 28d ago

We celebrate our anniversary on the day we actually started to go on dates. We were just talking before that.

We never really went into dating with any “official” talk. We just knew that’s what we would be when we started to go on dates.

So… up to you guys lol Both?

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u/deeretherford 28d ago edited 28d ago

I am married, but our dating anniversary is October 20 and our marriage is March 1. But we still do something for our dating anniversary. And we made our dating anniversary based on the first weekend we hung out and kissed for the first time neither of us had any other relationships going on. He also proposed on our dating anniversary so it makes it a little more special.

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u/Pristine-Trust-7567 28d ago

Just how many other people did you bang between August 18 and Sept. 6, and haven't told him about? Yes yes yes you have the imaginary loophole that you weren't "official" yet.

Just tell him the truth and you won't have to worry which date it is since he will be your ex.

I think it's cute he measures the relationship from the first date. You want to measure it from Sept 6 because of your guilt at banging other dudes during that time frame and you obviously are hiding it from him.

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u/quantumgap 27d ago

Lmfao presumptive

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u/Appropriate_Wall933 28d ago

Me and my bf chose the date we officially became a couple.. Which was new years eve.

I don't even remember the date for our first date. Fairly sure it was autumn though

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u/poindexter-af 28d ago

We picked the date of when we had the exclusivity talk instead of our first date, but to each their own!

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u/TheyCallMeCallMeJane 28d ago

My husband and I have a more intentional day than usual to recognize our 1st date anniversary and then we do the same along with try to plan a date for our wedding anniversary. We also will remember the day we got engaged by saying, “hey! It’s pi day haha. Oh shit wait! It’s been __ years already! Fuck we’re getting old…” every year without fail simply because we forget until it’s already the day then it hits us 😅 We’ve been together for 11 years now 🥰

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u/pandabearmcgee 28d ago

My husband are the same way. We technically celebrate our anniversary on the day we started being exclusive and not our actual wedding anniversary. Mainly because we got married in January 2019 (court house wedding), and as someone else said, January sucks. Lol. And we started dating June 2016. June is a much better month, imo

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u/ksleeve724 28d ago

My husband and I celebrated when we made it “official” which was only two days after our first date. Now we celebrate that anniversary and our wedding anniversary which are exactly a month apart Jan 14th/Feb 14th.

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u/mnman2005 28d ago

LOL, my wife and had a two day wedding, wedding one day reception the next. For the first 10 years we weren't sure which date our anniversary was! Thanks for this memory!

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u/Silent-Long-4518 28d ago

Do both 🥰

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u/burtonmanor47 28d ago

I would actually celebrate both dates. They each hold important meaning to each of you, so it should be celebrated.

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u/Foreign_Fall_8266 28d ago

Celebrate both lol

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u/Aggravating_Half_253 28d ago

Me personally I’d say when he officially asked would be the true anniversary.

But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating both 💜

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u/titikerry 28d ago

Lunch on the 18th (mini first date), dinner and celebrate on the 6th. Win-win.

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u/No-Amoeba5716 28d ago

Best friend “ would you marry again?” Me “only you” okay. Best friend “doesn’t matter but would we wanna have a baby?” Me “only with you” we’ve been together for 10 years. Besties for 20. We have a 7 year old. So …. We celebrate all

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u/No-Boat-1536 28d ago

The first date. Or the fuckaversery. Not a conversation.

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u/manu99_ 28d ago

We make our anniversary the day we asked to be in a relationship. I think is what anniversary celebrates, the day you got together no?

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

first date is the answer

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u/Slow-Photograph7381 28d ago

Celebrate both dates as they sound pretty meaningful.

Also 6th September happens to be my birthday 😁

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u/zoey-joy 28d ago

i think it’s all just personal preference. i met my husband on september 21st, first date was january 6th, wedding is december 15th. we acknowledge the first two but only celebrate the last.

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u/Shyviolet47 28d ago

My guy and I based our anniversary off of our first date. We met January 26, but our first date was January 28. We didn’t make it 100% official until about two weeks later but we knew we were exclusive from that first date so we went with that.

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u/Danivelle 28d ago

Celebrate both dates. My husband and I celebrate our first "date", first kiss, the date he proposed etc. Married for 41 yrs and counting. 

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u/Afraid-Combination15 28d ago

First date for sure. That's the beginning of your story together.

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u/dartron5000 28d ago

This is just silly. Pick a date in the middle I guess.

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u/ozmofasho 28d ago

I celebrate when we became official and when we got married.

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u/Suitable-Yak-1284 28d ago

That's all in hindsight though re the 'exclusive' status...either one of you could've dated someone else without breaking any rules...until you made it official. It's kinda like you guys were 'living like a married couple' but didn't make it legal it until later.

Sept 6 gets my vote.

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u/NealaG 28d ago

September 6th

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u/DJAnt88 28d ago

Maybe the 18th is when he felt it was exclusive. So that day is his choice. He knew then you were the one.

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u/TXGingerBBW 28d ago

We celebrate (well, my husband instigates) the day we met, the day we said “I love you”, the day we got married in secret, & the day we had a public wedding. Do ‘em all! LOL

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u/Ramblyo 28d ago

First date until you get married, then anniversary

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u/Purple-flying-dog 27d ago

We still celebrate when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We were 16. 25+ years later still celebrating that along with our wedding anniversary.

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u/daydreamer19861986 27d ago

Celebrate both 😀

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u/Dudeiii42 27d ago

Both 👍

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u/habesjn 27d ago

The first date is the beginning of your relationship. The moment you became exclusive is just a milestone in the relationship. It's on the same level as the first kiss, the first time having sex, the first time you met parents, etc.

The anniversary is celebrating the beginning of the relationship, which is the first date.

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u/ppoiuy 27d ago

IMHO the best date is the earliest date, so you can be together for the longest period! =)

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u/Cheap_Tension_1329 26d ago

It's your first date,  stop trying to get 2 days 

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u/danniperson 28d ago

My partner and I went with first date. We weren’t seeing other people, and we saw each other every day after that first date. We had the exclusivity talk like 10 days later 😂 But we celebrate July 16! Coming up on 8 years soon! ☺️

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