r/TwoHotTakes 15d ago

Update UPDATE: My wife wants to raise our 1 year old and our newborn as twins.

13.3k Upvotes

TLDR at the bottom.

The kids are safe and are with me. My wife for the time being has gone to her family house. A lot has happened in the past few days that has me questioning my entire relationship with her.

Firstly I want to make some things clear from my previous post.

She planned for my 1-year-old to delay joining kindergarten by a year. So there wouldn’t be a “behind” child, but rather one who’s at an average level and one who’s slightly advanced for his age.

People have pointed out that for this to work, all of our friends and family would have to be in on it. Her family completely supports her, and also believes this to be a gift from God.

My family on the other hand live states away. We’ve just recently moved here so the only friends we know are my wife’s childhood friends from when she used to live here.

My wife has had episodes before. When we had my first son, there would be days when I’d come back home from work with the baby crying in hunger bc my wife couldn’t get out of bed. We’ve been to therapy and even moved closer to her family so she could have some support.

But this goes beyond any previous episodes.

I told her that I wouldn’t put up with it. This only works if everyone is on it, and I made it clear I’d never be in on it. She can dress them up in matching outfits, and even call them Irish twins, but if she ever implies it’s anything more than that I’d shut it down.

This did not go over well. She yelled at me for denying her of her God-given blessing. That she would divorce me and raise the kids on her own if she had to.

That scared me, and I told her she had to leave. Now. She wanted to take the kids with her but I refused. I might’ve overreacted but I was thinking about the safety of the kids first and foremost.

That was last night. I’ve been taking care of the kids and have been contemplating what to do next.

I understand my wife isn’t in the proper mental state currently. I’ve brought up going to the doctors and therapy multiple times. But how do you convince someone that they need help when their entire family and friends support their delusions?

I can’t keep the kids away from her forever. Her family and friends are blowing up my phone. Where do I go from here?

TLDR: My wife is insistent on raising them as twins. Her friends and family are all willing to support her, and she’s threatened to divorce me to raise the kids this way.

r/TwoHotTakes 16d ago

Update UPDATE! "My Job Is Overly Involved In How I Dress, Is This Borderline Harassment?"

7.1k Upvotes

Okay, everyone! I just got out of the meeting with the Executive Assistant and the CEO about my dress code.

First I just wanted to answer the question I was seeing a lot about why I haven't said anything to HR.. well, because the executive assistant is HR... we don't have an HR department...

TLDR: They don't like how my body looks in the clothing and the fact I wear dark colors basically.

I really wanted to be prepared for this meeting, since I am the youngest and I'm a bit of a pushover I wanted to make sure I didn't get bull-dozed over in this meeting. I printed out the section of the handbook that explained the dress code, and when I got home yesterday, I changed into the last four outfits that I had worn that I was dinged for and took pictures, including the outfit that was half my stuff and half the stuff they bought me. This morning I went around and took a few pictures of my co-workers (I asked for consent) who were wearing ripped jeans, flip-flops, and graphic-t's. These things are clearly prohibited per the handbook. I also brought with me a top that was bought for me, (a blouse from shein bright orange and frilly) then wore a top that I bought for the job that was fairly similar (a blouse from H&M that was dark green).

I asked if I could voice-record the meeting so I would be able to refer back to the feedback. they said okay. They started off the meeting by telling me that it was inappropriate that I argued back yesterday and walked out. (some people were confused when I said I walked out. I didn't leave work, I just walked out of the office.) I apologized for the arguing back but followed it up by saying "I report to 4 different people and have many tasks throughout the day, you two know that Tuesdays are my busiest days and I was frustrated that I was being called away from my job duties to discuss my attire as I was in the middle of a very crucial tasks."

They tried to swerve around that statement and just went into why they brought me in. They told me that they had made multiple attempts to get me to adhere to the dress code and that I had refused to comply. I told them that I have been trying to adhere to the dress code, pulled out the handbook, and read it out loud to them. I explained that I had been following the dress code as it is described in the handbook and asked if they could explicitly tell me what I had been doing wrong, I had bought different clothing, I had worn the clothing that they bought me and I dress business casual even though the handbook says "jean casual" because I understand that being at the front desk means I should be dressing up a little more.

They told me that the outfits I choose to wear are distracting. I pulled out the pictures I had taken of myself and asked them to explain in detail what was distracting about these outfits because I clearly didn't understand. Their response "The black pants with the white polka-dots are inappropriate." in that outfit, I was wearing a white flowy top that fully covered my butt and had a high neckline with white flats. I asked them to elaborate, they said the pattern is distracting. I wrote down, no patterned pants in my notebook in front of them.

The next outfit was a form-fitting black turtle neck, tucked in with a belt and cream dress pants. They said that the turtle kneck was inappropriate because it was a tighter fit. I wrote down, no form-fitting tops. I then pulled out the picture of the outfit I wore which included the heels they got me and the boot-cut jeans with no back pockets. They said the pants were highly inappropriate since they accentuated my behind paired with the heels. I wrote, no heels paired with jeans. I was keeping my mouth shut still. I then pulled out the shirt that was bought for me. I said I'd like to know how this shirt that was bought for me and the shirt that I am wearing now are different and why one is preferred over the other. They said that the bright frilly one is more inviting and presents the message they want more than the one that I was wearing. The dark green is not inviting but the orange is. This was their reasoning for my silver vs. gold jewelry question too.

I then said, "Okay, I think I'm starting to understand." I pulled out the pictures of my co-workers. I asked, do you see how I would be confused when the rest of my co-workers dress like this every day." They said that the other co-workers are held to a different standard since they are in the back office. I just nodded.

I replied "Okay I think I understand. So patterns are not okay unless they are bright loud colors and floral print?" they nodded and smiled "And since I am in the front, I am expected to dress business casual/business professional. Not Jean casual as described in the handbook." they smiled and nodded and said "yes, we're happy to create a new handbook for you to refer back to." and then I said "and for the other outfits, it's not really about the items of clothing, it's about how my body looks in the clothes, and my body is the thing that is distracting everyone at work. Not the clothes." They sort of stammered a little bit and I said "I really try hard to make you guys happy but I think it's inappropriate that this whole meeting was done, taking time out of everyone's day just to tell me that my body is being looked at in a way that is distracting people from their jobs. I am very uncomfortable and am feeling sexualized and harassed at this point. I understand that the dark colors and certain patterns aren't what you guys are looking for. But the other feedback you've given me is just about my body and how it looks. My compensation is not high enough for me to afford to buy any more clothing for this job."

They told me that I was misunderstanding this whole meeting and that was not what they were saying at all. The clothing I wear is not inviting and not the message they want to put out, it has nothing to do with my body. They pride themselves in being an inclusive and safe workplace and would never intentionally make anyone feel sexualized and they couldn't believe that I was interpreting this as harassment. They said that they felt like buying me clothes was a kind gesture to help me work on my professionalism and they thought that I would have been more receptive of that. They also said that if I'd like, they can extend my hours so my compensation is raised. They said that they would be having another meeting with me about the new handbook and to look out on my calendar for it.

I was so frustrated (I am an angry crier, I did not cry but I felt it brewing.) I just smiled and nodded and asked if there was anything else they needed from me. They said no and I walked out of the office. I had so much more that I wanted to say, but I choked up and was upset I didn't say anything else. I am looking for a new job, I don't want to do this other meeting. I feel like it's not worth trying to fight it anymore... I guess I'll just wear the 4 outfits they got me every day until I find a new job. I feel a little defeated and have a sour taste from all of this, but can't afford to just quit. But I have the recording so I'm going to research to see if maybe I have a case here. I'm not meant for corporate America...

r/TwoHotTakes Apr 15 '24

Update Update: My wife brought a fancy set of ling*rie a few months ago without telling me. AITA for being slightly suspicious of this?

13.0k Upvotes

So a quick update. I was definitely wrong to overreact, and I’m really glad I came on here to get opinions first.

So the day after I posted, I casually asked my wife about the ling*rie I found, and she was actually excited about it, and said she had bought three more sets which she had hidden, and she was planning to surprise me on our wedding anniversary, which is in a week. She said she had brought these sets on Black Friday last year. She was blushing about it, it was hilarious.

I know I’m going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I completely forgot that our wedding anniversary was just a week away. I’ve been extremely busy with work, and I’m not the best at dates. So I’m actually really glad about this divine intervention, because I can now plan a proper wedding anniversary for my wife.

r/TwoHotTakes Feb 27 '24

Update My wife refuses to accept our divorce and I think she's trying to trick me.

8.0k Upvotes
  • An update has been added below the original post. -

Using a throwaway because I just need advice.

My wife (29f) and I (34m) have been married for 4 years, and up until a year and a half ago, things were fantastic. Our marriage began to deteriorate after there was a significant drop in sex between us, not intimacy, just the actual sex part of the relationship. We would still cuddle and have deep intimate moments talking and just being around each other but she kept rejecting my attempts at taking things further past kissing. Now we have had no problem communicating so I made sure to address it early, and we talked and made adjustments. We both made sure to stay in shape, we tried being more adventurous, we went to couples therapy/counseling, and even tested both of our hormone levels(everything was normal). Each "solution" would work for a little while and then we'd be back to having sex maybe once a month. I asked her several times if she was no longer attracted to me, to which she denied every time. I asked her if I was falling short in the relationship in any other way, to which she said no.

Well about a month ago, she gets back from her therapy session and tells me that she believes that she's asexual and that's the reason for her libido being non-existent as of late. I was definitely confused because we had such great sex for a while in the beginning of our relationship but her telling me that she's now asexual was heartbreaking because everything else is great. Obviously I'm not going to force her to have sex, so we had a long conversation about our relationship and I came to the conclusion that we should get a divorce. I say "I" because she immediately rejected the idea and said we would figure something out and wouldn't talk to me about it anymore. I didn't know what to say so I dropped it. Well three weeks go by (without sex) and I decided that I have to do this for my own mental well-being so I filed for divorce and had her served with the papers.

Last week when I got home from work, she was going about the day like nothing was wrong. I asked her if she signed the papers and she flat out said "we are not getting a divorce" and changed the subject and acted like things were normal. Obviously I thought this was crazy so I stopped her and said I couldn't be in a marriage devoid of sex, and I mentioned that I was being incredibly fair with our divorce. She can keep the house that we bought and paid for with cash ( she paid 1/3 I paid 2/3), I'd take all of the debt which isn't much, we'd split our savings and investments in half, and she can keep 2 of our 3 paid off cars (I only wanted to keep my sports car). Thankfully we don't have kids. I love her and wanted her to be comfortable and I have no problem starting over since I make a good income. But she won't budge or talk about the divorce.

This brings us to two days ago. I get home and go to our bedroom and find my wife's friend (27f) in our bed naked. I immediately shut the door, said sorry, and went looking for my wife. I found her in the kitchen and asked what her friend was doing here, and she said that she was here for me. I put two and two together and said that I'm not having sex with other women in place of the woman I chose to marry. She was adamant on saying that I could sleep with her whenever I wanted and that her friend agreed to it. I couldn't believe things would get this far so I went back to our bedroom and asked her friend to leave. I packed a bag and I've been staying in a hotel nearby since that night. My wife, her mother, and her sister keeps calling me but I'm just not interested in hearing what they have to say. This feels like a trick. I just want this whole thing to be over.

Does anyone have advice? Is this some kind of ploy for alimony (we do have a prenup)? Should I just contact my lawyer and try and force the divorce? I'm really uncomfortable with this entire situation.

Edit: We talked last night, I'll update when I get home from work.

Edit 2:

Here's the update if anyone's interested.

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible. I feel overwhelmed so I probably wont bother with another update after this one, I don't know. My wife came to my hotel last night and we talked about everything. She told me the full truth and what's going on in her mind.

  1. A few of you commented this in the last post so you were right. She has always been asexual, she and her whole family has known this since she was 16. Apparently this is the reason why her last long term relationship of 3 years ended. He broke up with her after the sex between them diminished to being non-existent after the first year. She told me that sex is easier for her in the beginning when emotions are running high but she still needs to force herself to have it. I knew they broke up due to irresolvable differences but I didn't ask for details nor did she tell me. After a lot of apologies and crying she told me that I was the first person she was able to "tolerate" sex with for so long and that she did enjoy it a handful of times; but after a while she still felt like she "was being raped". I broke down after hearing this and started kicking myself for not catching on to any of this. She said she tried her best to please me as much as she could.

  2. She still doesn't want a divorce and she doesn't want the house, cars, or the savings; she just wants me and is ready to do whatever it takes to keep me. She even said that she would sign a postnup stating this.

  3. As for her friend, she was there during her last breakup and helped to support her though it. My wife went to her after I brought up divorce and talked things out. Her friend suggested that she open the relationship for me but she said she didn't want me sleeping with strange women so her friend volunteered herself to be the one that sleeps with me; my wife thought this was a great idea which led to the fiasco at our house. I won't comment on her appearance because it doesn't matter, and I don't blame the friend.

  4. My lawyer got back to me, you were all right. I don't need to her permission but I will have to wait if I want to push it through.

  5. I aske her why she lied to me to me this entire time and she said she was tired of being rejected after revealing she was asexual so she convinced herself that she would be able to force herself to have sex during the relationship. The hormone testing, the sessions in couples therapy , and all of our "solutions" was just her buying time to find another way around sex or give herself enough time to build up the strength to start regularly having sex with me again.

  6. Our conversation ended with us holding each other in bed crying for a couple of hours. No we didn't have sex. She pleaded with me to hold off on the divorce to look for a solution together and left my hotel room.

  7. I'm now sitting alone typing this fucking post. I guess I found out that we don't share everything with each other.

  8. Thank you to everyone who has messaged me directly, I'm still trying to get to all of them.

  9. I don't know what I'm going to do.

r/TwoHotTakes 15d ago

Update Update: My MIL doesn't let me have sex with my husband, she came back

4.4k Upvotes

Hello, it has been several months since the last update.

Long story short, my mother-in-law returned to our apartment.

After my husband kicked her out she didn't contact us for about 2 months. Then she began to resume communication with my husband.

Three months ago we received the news that my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. My husband asked me to move her mother back with us and given the situation I accepted.

But she continues with the same attitude from the beginning. And now it is worse since she needs various care, and I must take care of her. I quit my job to take care of her full time.

We are drowning in debt since my husband's salary is not enough to cover all expenses. My husband suggested putting my mother-in-law's house up for sale again and she refused, saying that it was the only thing she had left and that she wanted it to be my husband's inheritance.

r/TwoHotTakes Mar 15 '24

Update (UPDATE) Family that left me on the streets at 16, now 30 yrs later want to apologize and make up for lost time.

7.9k Upvotes

First I want to thank everyone for their kind words and advice. I wasn't looking for advice, just wanted a place to share my story.

To those that gave me credit for overcoming everything, thank you, however the wife thinks she deserves most of it, lol. And in all honesty, she does.

To those that think this is fake. It's reddit, I get it, it is what it is. Most things have to be taken with a grain of salt. I shared my story, I can't make you belive me. But that's ok, it my story resonates and helps other know they can survive then I'm happy with that and that's all that matters .

Ok for the update. Gonna post most of the original email as a lot of you have requested, kept out some deep personal info but majority of it is there. Might have to break it up due to character limit.

Plus a response with the help of my wife. And also the help of others who made suggestions, which is good because I'm not that great at putting down in words how I feel without coming off looking dumb. She was able to make me sound less dumb. lol

Taking the family to the lake for the weekend to recharge and leave this all behind me. Thanks again to everyone.

r/TwoHotTakes May 01 '24

Update Walked out in the middle of a first date because he farted and lied about it.

5.4k Upvotes

This is the other side of the story because my date posted his version here about a month ago and I just found out.

This guy and I hit it off and after a few weeks of talking, I agreed to go on a date with him. He was very funny, intelligent, and cute- to name just a few.

As we were getting to know one another, we discussed things that we love, hate, and annoyances from a relationship standpoint. None of them from either of us were crazy. Some of mine were; I won’t tolerate dishonesty, I don’t like feet, and I don’t like bathroom talk.

Fast forward to our date: Everything is going well. We get our drinks & appetizers. He got some kind of bean soup as an app. He was slurping it out of the bowl- didn’t really bother me, it was just noticeable. Dinner comes out and he lets out the loudest, rank fart that I’ve ever had the displeasure of witnessing (I work in healthcare.)

Honestly, he looked so embarrassed, I was going to ignore it and continue with dinner. That is until he practically yelled out “I didn’t fart! It was the chair! The chair farted. Not me. I promise I didn’t fart.” So I said it’s okay, just please stop saying that and lower your voice.

Y’all, I kid you not. This man starts scooting around on the chair and telling me he’ll prove to me he didn’t fart and just listen for the chair.

This went on for a solid 5 minutes with people staring at us. I was so embarrassed and he would not let it go. I finally just got up and left.

He left me several voicemails afterwards telling me how dramatic I was for leaving over a squeaky chair and how ridiculous my pet peeves were. I never responded to him and then I found out about his Reddit post.

Can y’all blame a gal for walking out?

r/TwoHotTakes 7d ago

Update As I am driving back from Texas to LA…

2.8k Upvotes

My man just butt dialed me… I said his name a couple of times but he couldn’t hear me. I heard a female voice and then I heard moaning and giggling …and we all can figure out what I was listening to …

I am now pulled over on the side of the road. I’m in San Antonio and I still have a ways to go, I can’t stop sobbing. I feel like my heart‘s just been ripped out of my chest and I’ve been punched in the gut.

I now have this long ass drive back with just my thoughts to keep me company and your podcast of course.

I’ve instantly blocked his number because I can’t deal with this right now

I have to collect myself and still even process what I heard. just yesterday he was talking about how he wants to marry me… it’s so crazy how you can go from loving somebody and thinking how lucky you are and then in an instant that is all gone now the only feeling I feel is nausea, disgust and betrayal..

What would you do in this situation? I welcome jokingly suggestions just to make me smile…. But also a real approach that you may take.

Damn. … Updates!!

I want to say thank you to everybody that reached out with advice and kind words. This has been definitely one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. It’s going to take some time to feel OK but I guess maybe every day that passes things get I don’t know maybe a little better , so my whole drive back after the phone incident his phone was either off or he had me blocked because he was not taking any of my calls. I suspected that he knew the cat was out of the bag and that he was busted. So normally it’s fight or flight and the dude chose flight after a day. I just was so annoyed that he wouldn’t even pick up the phone. I showed up at his work and told him when he was done with his shift we needed to talk. There was no more running away. I couldn’t even get a sentence out and he started coming at me with bizarre accusations, and accusing me of having secret relationships behind his back, it’s very confusing for me because I have been with him almost every single day other than when he’s at work.
So I know now at this point, there’s no reason for me to continue talking to him. I’m not gonna get heard anyways. I’ve already secured a place to live back home in the Midwest and I have a job and another vehicle waiting for me so in about two days I’m leaving here in Los Angeles and heading back home. It will definitely be a long time before I consider opening my heart to somebody , I was very much blindsided by this and I don’t think I could even stomach going through something like this again I’m going to stop posting on this thread at least for now and just get my shit together and get the hell out of here. Let’s see what’s up for the next chapter of life. Hopefully, it’s something a little less hard.

r/TwoHotTakes 23d ago

Update FINAL UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant.

2.3k Upvotes

Hi everyone, sorry for the long wait on the update, I have been really busy with my work.

Sara is still pregnant, due at the end of August, with 2 babies, one boy and one girl.

My husband (Sara's brother) and I have started to try and have a family of our own, no success yet, but we are not worried, it only 2 months. When we we're in my country, we were buying artwork and smal furnitures from my country to put in the nursery of our future baby to have my culture too. Sara and her husband bought some things too for their house and because she was pregnant for the baby. My mom was on the town with Sara one day when we did a trip they didnt want to do and bought some things for us, and told Sara its for the nursery for our future baby. When Sara heard what our idea for our nursery was with my culture, she decided she wanted her nursery to be like that, and bought almost everything we bought. We dint say anything because we thought she was just buying for her house and for friends, souvenirs etc.

Some time passed after everyting happened at the wedding and the honeymoon, and Sara called me to see if I can go to a store where we live and look at some baby things for her, because they dont have that store. I said yes and spend almost 2 hours with her on the videocall showing her things, taking pictures, and saying we can get it and mail to her if she needs anything, so we were on good terms.

then a week ago she posted on ig her nursery in progress and it was exactly what I said I wanted. The theme isnt something very common, but its my culture. Think like dragons for China, or Geisha for Japan. Very big part of the culture, but not usually a baby theme. I saw it and got mad, showed it to my husband and he was mad too, but said lets just give it a few days, and then talk about it again, and then we can decide what to do. I said ok.

Sara calls us a couple of days later to tell us the names she decided for her babies, and the boy name is very sweet, a mixture of a family name on Matt and Sara's family. The girl name is where the problem is. Her first name is very pretty, we love it, but her middle name is my husband's name that we said we wanted to use if we had a son. its not a girl/boy name like Taylor, its a boy name like Johnathan (not the rael name). My husband said thats his name and she knew we wanted to use it. she said its also their uncle's name, and thats who its after. My husband kept saying but its his first name, and its boys name and we are still going to use the name if we have a son. This is where Sara loses her mind. she gets so mad and starts yelling that cousins cannot have the same name and she chose it first, and my husband just says ITS MY NAME. Finally Sara just hangs up after she said she thought my husband would be happy that she is nameing the baby the same name as him.

Again we give it a couple of days and then I had a talk with my husband and said I am still very upset about the theme and it feels like Sara always gets what she wants, no matter what other people think, feel or are affected. I told him its like the camels back broke from all the straw, over the last years. I told him I was going to call Sara and tell her how i feel and just talk about it. he said ok, but told me to wait one more day so I am not very angry when I call. I called my mom and told her what i told my husband, and she was furious. She pointed out that Sara also showed me and my husband things she thought would look good in our nursery with the theme we said we wanted, so she knew exactly what we wanted to do. I took a couple of hours to get my brain ready and called Sara to talk to her about it.

When I was talking to Sara, I made sure to tell her that the nursery wasn't the main issue, that it was just the last thing I could take. I told her it feels like everythinhg is always about her, and how she wants it and screw everybody else. I said its almost 4 years of that, and the nursery was the last straw. I made it a point to talk to her nicely, not raise my voice and use kind words. SHE WENT OFF. She said a nursery theme isnt something you can own, and that I actually copied her. I told her its my culture so i dont know how that works. She called me such bad names and cursed me out, and i told her if she doesnt stop, i was going to hang up. She kept saying nasty things, and i told her again, and dshe kept going, so i hungup after i told her to lose my number and not contact me ever again. I havent had any other contact from her, and my husband either. It feels like a weight of my shoulders. I wish her the best but she cannot be a part of my life if she is acting like this. i also removed her from all socials.

So thats that, Sara and me are done. my husband is low contact, only if she calls/ messages him, which is never. Her parents are shocked at me, but i said im done. Her mom asked if I am going to tell Sara when I get pregnant, and I said no, she is welcome to tell her, and my husband can tell her if she wants, but I am not speaking to Sara again. Sara had her shower, and I sent 2 outfits for the babies, because I brought them before the phone call, and she texted in a group chat to say thank you and I just liked the message. I told my husband that if I am home, Sara is not welcome in my house.

Thats probably the last update from me. I dont think anything else will hppen now that I am no contact. if anything, i will just comment on this post. I am not super active on reddit, so I am sorry if I dont reply. Thank you all for the support and messgaes. you made me realise that I am not the crazy one. you are the best!!

r/TwoHotTakes 14d ago

Update Update: How do I tell my husband I don’t want his mother around after I give birth

2.5k Upvotes

I had the conversation with my husband about not wanting his mother around after I give birth. I didn’t tell him the harsher reasons why, ie: she’s overbearing. I just told him that i would prefer the privacy during the first month to properly recover with people around me who can wipe my butt if i needed. At first he was a little upset because he knows as a mother of all boys she might always be an afterthought during her son’s life milestones but understood my reasoning. He told me he spoke with his mother and she wouldn’t come until the end of the month and i was happy he honored my wish. A few days later his mom called to check in and said she would coming while my mom is in town. After i spoke to her i confronted my husband about it and he said he was confused because they spoke and she agreed. He called his mom back and it was just a classic case of his mom being his mom. Our heathy baby boy decided to arrive 1 week early so my out of state mother unfortunately missed his birth as well. Such is life i guess. But she’ll be here tomorrow to help aide in my recovery. All in all things ended fine. Thanks everyone for your support!

r/TwoHotTakes Apr 13 '24

Update Update: Am I overreacting to my bf (M, 28) sharing our bed with his girl friend(female friend)?

1.6k Upvotes

First, thank you to everyone for commenting and replying. It really gave me a good perspective on things. I need to clear few things and questions that have been asked.

My bf and I have known each other for six years, we were very good friends and are almost into a year of being together.

The apartment is a one bedroom, one living room with a kitchen. It’s a small place, enough for two. Yes, there is a couch in the living room, no tv though.

The city that he lives in isn’t considered safe for women so travelling at night all by herself wouldn’t be a wise decision. He was willing to help but she said her bf is coming to pick her up. He (her bf) was travelling from another city so he would take about 3-4 hours but that was when she has just arrived. By the time they ate, he should have been there but she said two more hours which never happened.

They’ve known each other for a few years. She came into his friend group through one of his best friend. She is his best friend’s ex. And they are very much still in love but in denial. My bf considers her as his like sister friend. I recently knew her through my bf but most of the girls from the his group don’t like her which I think I should’ve just listened to.

For people asking how do I know he didn’t cheat - I just know! I know how he is as a person. He has been cheated on before and he’ll never inflict that kind of pain on anyone. He’s sometimes naive and emotionally dumb but not heartless.

What I meant by I trust him but not her is cause I didn’t get good vibes from her the moment he introduced us in ft. I don’t know her to trust her. Yes, I do agree that he should have slept on the couch or literally anywhere but not on our bed.

He has apologized and when I woke him up he knew he fucked up. I could see it on his face. His story is they were chatting and he fell asleep which he didn’t intend to and later when he woke up, she was already dead asleep. He regrets sleeping and not getting up. He has apologized every single day and has asked what he can do make it right. He promised that will never happen again (I didn’t ask him to promise). I asked him to clean the place and remove all traces of her cause it makes my skin crawl with just the thought of him sleeping with another woman that isn’t me in our bed. Hence, I asked if I’m overreacting.

It’s a really weird situation and a painfully strange feeling. I just want to be okay and not feel this way. He is trying everything in his power to make it right but I’m not able to move from it.

r/TwoHotTakes Mar 19 '24

Update UPDATE: I found out why my boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me

1.5k Upvotes

Hello everyone! I was not expecting my last post to blow up.

I love my boyfriend and while many suggested to break up I thought the best thing before considering breaking up is having a conversation. I sat him down and told him my concerns with his comment. How uncomfortable and damaging it is and how this all started because I started taking birth control. He was very understanding and apologized. He said it was poor choice of words and that he loves me and he will stand by my side no matter what size I am.

He helped me create a mutual plan where we both would work out together at home and both get back in shape. After everyone’s advice I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist to either find a better non hormonal birth control or get off birth control and instead sticking with condoms. He assured me that condoms are more than fine and that we probably should have stuck with them.

Thank you so much to everyone’s support and kindness. And if anyone is experiencing similar issues I hope you find the support I found on Reddit :).

Edit: Hello everyone! I just had my gynecologist appointment and turns out I’m sensitive to hormones which is why weight gain is a huge side effect. The main culprit is estrogen. My doctor recommended a birth control with just progestin, it’s mostly used when you are breastfeeding but it’s just as good as effective. If this doesn’t work then my other option is an IUD which is more scary but has less side effects. I think that’s all I will no longer update but I just wanted to let yall know if you have the same issue.

r/TwoHotTakes Apr 08 '24

Update Update: Would I be wrong for asking for separation after my wife told me to get over the loss of my friend

1.8k Upvotes

Thanks Reddit. I had a sort of coming to Jesus moment after reading the comments and realized my wife does not deserve how I’ve been treating her the past few months. I have been so self absorbed with sadness and guilt, that I have sort of just forgotten about my wife. It was a moment of weakness on my part. I apologized to my wife a couple of hours ago for bringing up separation and for how I’ve been behaving the past few months, and she was really happy about the apology and said I had no reason to apologize, and we had a really romantic moment after that.

I am still going to start looking for an in person therapist, as I think it will be beneficial, but I am now going to focus on giving a 100% to my wife. We only have 1 life, and we deserve to live it to the fullest, and I will try to my best with my wife and my 2 children.

As far as my friend, we did have extremely strong non romantic feelings for each other, but I’d rather not get into it too much, as I am now just going focus on my wife and my 2 children.

r/TwoHotTakes Mar 13 '24

Update Update 2 - My wife refuses to accept our divorce and think she's trying to trick me.

1.4k Upvotes

I don't think I can link my previous post so just go to my profile I guess if you care to read the op. I've tried to read every comment/message and take to heart what most of you had to say. Also please stop messaging me, I can't respond to everyone; it's too much. I'll make this as short as possible.

After my last update, my wife asked me to meet with her about a week later to discuss things with her. I've been staying at an extended stay since that night with her friend. We met at our house and talked for a few hours. She started off with a ton of apologies for how she acted, her lying about her sexuality, and not taking my sexual needs more seriously. Before I could say anything she presented a signed postnup agreement she had drafted with a lawyer stating that she doesn't want anything, the house, the cars, savings, everything. I felt like the biggest asshole for thinking that she was tricking me for more money. I asked her if she was serious and she told me to take the postnup with me and sign it when I'm ready. (I still haven't signed it, it's in my backpack)

I told her that I still think divorce is our best course of action and that we both deserve to find someone who matches our needs. She still refused and borderline begged me to reconsider, she started crying and so did I. Seeing her like this was devastating. I told her that her finding other women to sleep with me wasn't going to work. What if I develop feelings for them? What if I get one of them pregnant? Do we expect her to get an abortion? She said we'll "figure it out as we go along" and to please give her more time to work on other solutions. She's set up appointments for sex and hormone therapy, and it's seeing a sex guru. I said that it sounds like we're going through the same things again but she was adamant and pleaded with me to wait. There were more apologies on both sides and we kissed for a while before ending the conversation, then I went back to my hotel that night.

A few days later I tried texting her but she didn't respond, so I called her dad (I'm avoiding her mother and sister since they are saying the same things as my wife). Her dad told me that she moved back home and has been holed up in her room since our talk, she called out of work. He told me that she's barely eating, bathing, or talking to him or her mom. He asked me what I was going to do but I didn't have an answer for him. He just said he understands and said he would be here to talk anytime I wanted to. So I went back to our house and a good portion of her stuff was gone, the whole place feels empty. I've been sleeping in one of the spare rooms.

I'm planning on flying to my mother's house in a couple weeks to spend time with my family to decompress from this entire situation. I'm still on the divorce side of the fence but I guess there's no rush. Thank you to everyone for your insight and concern, seriously, I know we're all strangers but most of you have been a huge help to my mental health. Seriously, thank you.

Also my cousin uses reddit and reached out after he found my last post and asked me to shout him out if I made an update. Love you Virgil, thank you for being there for me.

I think I'll just make a quick edit to this post once we reach a resolution for anyone that cares.

r/TwoHotTakes 5d ago

Update My fiancé bought a tire update

1.1k Upvotes

TLDR on my first post: my fiancé stole $300 cash of my savings to buy his best friend a tire when she popped it, he didn’t ask me about taking the money.

Ok, so I poured over all the comments on my original post. I’m not car savvy, and thought it was interesting how the majority of people agreed $300 for a tire was crazy. I didn’t understand why he didn’t just get her a patch or a spare like some of you pointed out in the comments. When my fiancé got home that night, I brought up the topic to him. He still didn’t budge on an explanation or real apology. He seemed like he was tired after work and just wanted me to drop it. I asked about a receipt, but he said he didn’t know where it went. Claiming he lost it or left it with his friend. I listened to a suggestion I saw a few of you say and messaged his friend to see if she had something to say. I shot her a dm on instagram, just asking about the whole ordeal. When she got back to me, she had no idea what I was talking about. She did meet up with him, but her car was totally fine. They just went to some game stores together and got lunch. She never saw the $300. She seemed confused and told me “good luck” with figuring it out. I of course immediately brought this up to my fiancé. Telling me how this whole situation has been driving me crazy, and showing him the messages between me and his friend. He seemed shocked at how upset I was before getting quiet for a second. Begrudgingly he explained what happened. He had taken the money, deposited it in the bank, went to hang out with his friend, then got back home and used the money on a deposit for a hotel room near a ski resort. He booked it for our honeymoon. We weren’t planning on really having a honeymoon, so he wanted to surprise me with it. The money was enough to book a single night deposit, he was planning to save up to pay the rest upon check in. Our wedding was going to be late in the year, so he thought a Christmas cabin honeymoon would be perfect. A whole lot doesn’t make sense to me about this. I can’t ski, I always spend Christmas with my family, and he stole from me to do this. I told him to explain why he just took the money for this. He knew I was saving the money for a family vacation and thought “once we’re married we’ll be family. So me and him deserve a trip just for us” As for the time and place, he just thought it would be romantic. I am completely torn up over this. You guys were right, I was being too passive. He stole my savings, disregarded asking my opinion, and betrayed my trust. This isn’t the ending I wanted, but the wedding is called off. I’m staying with my sister and have been talking the whole thing over with her. I haven’t told the rest of my family yet and don’t really know where to go from here. Our relationship is in limbo right now. I don’t want to throw away our future but I’m not sure if I can reasonably keep it going. I have a lot on my mind. Also before someone suggests it, the room deposit is non refundable, so he’s stuck with at least one night. I demanded he pays me back but he got upset at that. He seems like he really doesn’t want to, especially now that we’re on awful terms. I’ll keep pushing to get back my cash, but that’s pretty much it. My first post blew up more than I expected. Thank you everyone for all the advice, good and bad. It helped me come to terms with the fact that his behavior was unacceptable. I’m not sure where to go from here but I’m glad i finally took some action.

r/TwoHotTakes Mar 01 '24

Update UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant

2.1k Upvotes

Update to my previous post on my profile.

My hisband and i finally had our honeymoon and we were unreachable during our holiday because we were out of the country. Our whole family knew this before we left and we told them the only way to reach us in emergency was to call the hotel. We knew Sara was going in for her appointment while we were away and we told her we would call her as soon as we got back home.

My husband and I was out one day for the whole day from the hotel doing activities, and when we got back we found a note on our room to say we have to go to reception. Once we got to reception, the person told us we had 7 missed calls from family and gave us a number to call. We didn’t know who called or what about, but we thought it was an emergency. We called the number and it was Matt. He was very confused and asked why we were calling him on our honeymoon and asked if we were ok? We said that the hotel said tihs number called 7 times and asked him if everything was ok, matt said everything was fine but Sara wanted to talk to us.

Matt called Sara over and she asked us how we were having fun etc, but we just wanted to know what was going on because we were so worried. Sara said she went to the doctor and got some news, we asked her if everything was ok, because she kept not saying anything and we could hear her and Matt whisper to each other. We heard Matt say to her “did you seriously call the hotel 7 times to tell them this? It could have waited.” Sara finally gets back on the phone and said that the doctor said she was going to have twins!! We said congratulations and asked if there was anything else? We thought it was an emergency. She said no she just wanted to share the news because she is so excited and scared and she couldn’t hold it in. She said she also called my mom, and told her (thay are friends on social media) .

My husband and I both just said we were very happy for them but really didn’t want to be bothered again if it was not an emergency. Sara said we were being very rude and she just wanted to share the good news. We hung up because we had to get ready for dinner.

When we got back into the US, my inlaws picked us up from the airport and were asking us if we spoke to Sara. We said yes she said she was having twins and we were very excited for them. My FIL then said Sara told them we were extremely rude to her and Matt and we were dismissive and hung up the phone. We told them what really happened and they said that is not what Sara has told the whole family.

We are now back in our house and haven’t spoken to Sara or Matt but matt texted us both but the text only cane through later where he said he was so sorry that they bothered us on our vacation and he felt horrible. We just texted back and said all good, and that we were very excited for both of them.

All i can say about this whole situation is that i am very happy that we live on the other side of the country from Sara.

r/TwoHotTakes 15d ago

Update My partner wants to name our child after his recently deceased mother and I want to leave him because of it...UPDATE!!

1.4k Upvotes

Edit to add ... He was already in therapy before we found out our girl was a boy. He left the room during the appointment because he knew his mother would never get to know we were in fact having a boy and he was sad about it. He was already back to the original name after the grief therapist got ahold of him and was able to explain why it wasn't a good idea...he agreed it wouldn't be good for him to hear. He has been actively doing therapy. So have I and so has our oldest. Everyone saying he would have gone behind my back I really don't think he would have...maybe me being naive but I was starting to see him again and not the person I've been seeing since her passing. He communicates again. He is still actively doing therapy both grief and other. So am I and I will continue that also. He isn't the best but he isn't bad. As for the naming situation as everyone is after me about...I have no family. My mother left when I was 10 and my dad molested me so I have zero family. Naming my children after "family" would be a heartbreak I could never fathom because I am in fact alone. So for everyone who is beating on the fact that I didn't get to out my families name here is the very sad reason why I don't have a child named after anyone in my family. Simply they were either going to be named after a person who abandoned or abused me.

Hello guys I know it's been a month but I wanted to update you guys on the situation since I made my last post. Little backstory if you didn't know my situation. Partner decided to change our daughters name without talking to me about it after his mother's recent passing without even accepting a compromise and I come templated leaving him. Well guys a big flip to our story. This whole time it's been confirmed a girl until two weeks ago... We are having a little boy. Every ultrasound has been wrong. We went to my final appointment and the high risk doctor confirmed we all have a little boy due in two weeks. It broke my heart to see him shut down in the office. He actually left my appointment. He became distant so I sat down with him and we had a talk after our babies were sleeping. I'm going to give our son his mother's surname as a middle name. It cheered him up but I get it's not the same. Things have drastically calmed down since we got his mom's ashes back. I bought him a beautiful necklace urn for fathers day which has his mother's picture and a beautiful quote on it. He can have a little piece of her with him forever...he doesn't know about it yet but I know he is going to love it. His therapy is going well as is mine and as is our daughters. We are all healing very well. We are stronger than ever. Thank you all for the advice good and bad.

r/TwoHotTakes Apr 02 '24

Update Update: Am I (25F) wrong for outing my best friend (25F) to her parents after she cheated on my brother?

764 Upvotes

Going to clarify a few things

The mutual acquaintance did not give any proof that Riley cheated and I admittedly did act of haste. However, when my brother confronted Riley about her affair, she confessed everything, including who the coworker was. He then gave her a day to move out.

People are saying it wasn’t my decision to interfere in their affairs, and it was my brother’s decision to do what he wanted. I do agree, as I said, I acted out of anger. However, my brother has thanked me for informing him, and while extremely sad, he is also even angrier than me. He reported Riley’s affair with her coworker to HR. He found out who coworker’s wife was through Facebook and informed her. He has been telling everyone he invited to the wedding about Riley’s affair. So that includes her high school friends, college friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents.

As far as outing her sexuality to her parents, my brother does says he probably wouldn't have done it, but he said he loves me even more now because it shows how much I had his back.

Edit: The coworker was a man

r/TwoHotTakes 20d ago

Update [UPDATE] Found a camera pointed into my bathroom window…

1.4k Upvotes

At the suggestion of many, I emailed the detective and provided the additional details about the neighbors, the people working in the fence, the moved camera, and the wiped outside of the window and anything else I could remember that might help. I also brought up my concerns about the kids being targeted because it is the main bathroom that we all share.

He followed up with me really quickly, thanked me for the info and said it’s really common to be overwhelmed at first and not provide many details. (Not sure if this was only said to make me feel better…) He also let me know that he was working on a search warrant for the SIM card to the camera. He said it could take a couple of days to get it, but I would be notified immediately if there are any pictures of me or the kids, of if there’s any other information he has to give me. He also gave me a few safety tips (similar to those that this subreddit has given) but said to avoid putting anything on the HOA page for now.

Incidentally, shortly after hearing back from the detective, my next door neighbor and the other (overly helpful) neighbor came through the side gate while the kids were splashing around in their blow up pool. I about jumped out of my skin when the gate latch opened. There was no heads up or anything before just coming in. Next door neighbor said “oh shit, sorry didn’t mean to scare you. We knocked on your door and then assumed you guys were back here.” They had an air compressor and a nail gun in tow and said “we just needed to fix a few loose boards from when we fixed the fence… should only take a few seconds.” There really were a couple of boards that weren’t fully attached, and since my next door neighbor had funded the entire shared fence repair, I let them fix it and they left. They were there for all of 5 minutes, tops, and didn’t do a single thing except for fix the fence boards, but still, the timing felt really weird… Could it have been legit? Possibly. Could it have been an excuse to just be in my backyard? Also possibly.

Before I get crucified for poor decisions - the gate now has a padlock.

I looked up the sex offender registry and didn’t find any nearby. My town has an ordinance that prohibits them from residing within a half mile radius of a school or park… (and we have a ton of parks) which essentially leaves a very small pocket several miles away that someone with that kind of record could live.

I did also look up arrest records for my neighbors which was mostly uneventful. One neighbor has a super minor arrest from like 15 years ago. But guess which neighbor has several arrests… to include a handful of DV charges. …If you guessed overly helpful neighbor guy, you’d be right. I didn’t see any convictions, but I’m newer to this state and also don’t know where to look to find them. But the county has arrest records readily available.

Thank you to everyone who talked some sense into me about not worrying about “being a bother” to the police and “not being nice.” My certified people-pleasing ways don’t fit a situation as serious as this.

I’m going to keep a pulse on the detective to make sure that they’re still actively working on the case, and be extra vigilant about our surroundings. My new cameras will be installed in the morning, and I’ve already added a few things to the house to help us feel more safe.

Unless something really crazy happens (which I’m seriously hoping it doesn’t), this will probably be my last update until we find out who did it.

r/TwoHotTakes Apr 03 '24

Update [UPDATE] My fiance's best man is 'joking' with his other groomsmen about slut shaming me during his best man speech as a joke, what do I do?

1.0k Upvotes

First, I wanted to thank those who were clear and honest about how alarming the situation was from their perspective. When posting I was still processing various feelings about the matter, and still am, which not only limited by ability to really look at the situation from a different perspective, but also left me in a state of paralysis of what to do next, both long and short term.

Given the nature of this situation, there was a lot of historical context that was ommitted to avoid making the orignal post too lengthy. I have done my best to include context that seems most relevant based on the original comments in my update below.

UPDATE

Since posting, I have spoken in further detail to both my fiance and one of the other groomsmen involved. I also confided in my maid of honor about the situation for an additional perspective outside of this specific friend group. After these conversations and reading through all comments on the original post, I've come to realize the significance of a few key details:

  • Jay has a deep rooted superiority complex. He always has, and it is something many in our friend group have become acustomed to. He has always been the type who seemed to believe he was the standout amongst his friends. Whether that be through education, athletics, his career, or with women.
  • Jas has also always been a bit egocentric, and a lack of accountability or consequences for his actions has been growing for some time now. Despite it almost always being unintentional, he more often than not is oblivious to the inconveniences and harm he causes others, as long as it is beneficial to his personal ego.
  • This is about jealousy from a few different angles, but not about me specifically. When looking at the full picture, this escalation feels like a continued attempt to knock my fiance down for reaching that next stage in life. Whether that is because Fiance has reached it before him or has moved onward without him, I cannot say for sure.
  • Jay has issues with misogyny that have also been escalating in tanden with everything else. His lack of respect for the women he has dated has also seemed to increase. Much of the personal tension him and I have had recently pertain to his perspective of women that have begun to veer into a more direspectful realm, alluding to an increased belief that due to their gender alone, women are inferior.
  • The good friend he was to me over the years, who was always kind and supportive, who never overstepped boundaries and was always there when needed, can exist in tandem with the above information. They are not mutually exclusive. Life happens and people grow, sometimes in opposite directions.

I spoke in depth with one of the groomsmen to have further transparency of the situation and what was explicitly said. He acknowledged that the conversation initially centered around the excitement they had for the wedding, and Jay clearly stating he wanted to give Fiance and I the best wedding and experience possible.

The conversation evolved and Jay mentioned looking for 'icebreakers' for his speech/toast and began bouncing a varierty of 'distasteful jokes' that focused more so on the expense of my fiance than anything else. Then the idea was proposed about explicitly stating that my being 'passed around the friend group' was how they all remained 'relatively close since middle school and high school.' Jay was immediately shut down by the other groomsmen, told to know his audience, and also recognize he was openly alluding to things that were untrue and that could have an extremely negative impact on me personally. The conversation stopped shortly after this, and the groomsmen, without context of how this issue had been escalating, chalked it up to a one-off situation with Jay acting full of himself in the moment.

Fiance and I are the first of our cohort to get married and have a full blown wedding with a ceremony and reception. These comments did not start escalating untill after our engagement roughly one year ago, following Jay's breakup with his long term girlfriend. Jay has never made comments like this to me or my fiance privately or when it is just the three of us together. Any scenario where this has been an issue has been in an environment which involved others, and mostly others that are not a part of this cohort from middle school. This solidified the above points as the main factors to why Jay acted in this way, from my perspective.

...So, what next?

As mentioned in my original post, I spoke with Fiance in detail about the situation and how I was feeling. When all of this had been brought to our attention a few days prior, in an attempt to preserve myself in the moment, I brushed it off more so than I probably should have. I do not blame Fiance for not having any immediate or strong reaction in the moment, because I had avoided one myself.

I think it's imoprtant to note that Jay is not a day-to-day character in our lives. While he travels frequently for work that brings him to our area, we live states a part. He has not lived in the same area as me or my fiance since high school. Much of this evolution with his personality has happened in the last few years as well. I recognize this is not an excuse for the lack of accountability on our part, but felt it added important context that this was not something that was observed and ignored daily, but one that has slowly been recognized over time, since we maybe see him 4 times a year at most.

Fiance was extremely open in conversation, immediately brought up having a conversation with Jay, but admitted to not viewing this as anything more than Jay 'just being Jay' and that he was 'all talk.' At this point, we had only discussed how Jay had continually escalated the situation and how uncomfortable I had now become from this. The lack of accountability Fiance had made for Jay's action definitely hurt, but then I recalled a commenter who had asked if I still considered Jay a friend because he actually was, or because 'that was how it has always been.'

To sum up what turned into a lengthier and much more productive conversation with Fiance, I told him that while I recognized his friendship with Jay was something that had always been a part of his life, I did not personally want to be friends with him in the same capacity anymore after this. I brought to Fiance's attention that while the scenario was explicitly about me, and attacking the integrity and character of a 12 year old girl, every action or usage of the scenario was used against him to invalidate his accomplishments of getting married or make him come off as less than.

I told Fiance it was up to him on how he handles his conversation with Jay, but regardless, the disrespect Jay had shown me in this was a clear statement of what he thought of our own personal friendship. I firmly believe it is not my place to force how my fiance handles his own personal relatiobship with Jay in this. All of this was deeply taken to heart, and you could tell that Fiance had started coming to his own realizations as the conversation progressed. He recognized that if the roles were reversed, or if it had been any one of my bridesmaids slandering me in any way, he would be firmly advocating for me to reevaluate my friendship with them.

Fiance asked for a few days to stomach the information himself and reflect on what he wants to say to Jay. He asked if it would be acceptable for him to bring up that I no longer wanted to be friends with Jay personally, and I said yes. I was clear that if Jay wanted to talk with me following their conversation as well, it would need to be the three of us and not a personal converasation.

I am still evaluating how to approach the speeches/toasts at our wedding. For now, I reserved the right with my Fiance to omit Jay from giving a speech and having my fiance choose another groomsmen to do so in his place, potentially canceling the speeches/toasts altogether, and if Jay is allowed to give a toast, telling the DJ to cut the mic if need be. All of which he agreed with.

There is still plenty of time for the situation to develop, and for potential future updates, but I wanted to again thank those that emphasized the seriousness of this issue, gave their honest input and advice on how to handle the situation, and provided perspective on what they belive should be done next. When originally posting, I was still in a state of shock, trying to accept the situation as it had unfolded. Your responses contsructively pushed me into the reality of what was happening, and what I was feeling.

r/TwoHotTakes Mar 13 '24

Update Update: my boyfriend has been ignoring me ever since i said no

1.4k Upvotes

Hi everyone, this is an update to my post yesterday. I’d be lying if i said it went easy, and before i go into detail, please don’t comment saying “i told you so” because i most definetly do not want to hear that and 100% know who was right, but at the end of the day I made the decision to go over and end it (also to get my things back). I’m glad i went over, to further fully comprehend who he is, and if i could go back in time and do it again, i would. This will be a long update.

I went over to his house at around 3, right after i got out of school, and brought our mutual friend with me. I explained my side of the story to him, and he’s on my side and thinks it was disgusting of R to say that and act that way towards me. I wasn’t too scared to go inside since i knew i had backup, aswell as his parents being home. (i replied to a comment saying i wouldn’t have agreed to go if they weren’t there)

We both walked up to the door and knocked, R opened the door and gave our friend (i’ll call him Q) a nasty look. R asked Q why he was with me, Q said he was there to make sure nothing happened. R invited us in, but kept the look on his face as Q walked in behind me. We went to his room where all my stuff was in a bag and Q sat next to me on the bed while R sat in his desk chair.

Before I could start talking, R cut me off to say how sorry he was and that he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable. I wanted to think it was a sincere apology but because of this whole situation, there was no way it could be sincere. I said “I know u said you’re sorry but, how do i know it won’t happen again? i don’t trust you anymore, and i can’t be with someone i don’t trust.” and his face immediately changed.

I stood up to grab my bag of stuff when R sprung up and pushed me back onto the bed to make me sit down, Q got up and told R not to start stuff he can’t finish. R got in Q’s face and started yelling random insults at him and accusing Q of being the reason why i decided to end it. I stood up and told R to back off and that he ruined this relationship the second he tried to pressure me into having sex with him.

R shoved me and that’s when his dad came to the room, (the yelling was loud enough for him to hear from the living room), and seeing that I was just shoved, his dad yelled his name. R turned to the door and was standing there like he did nothing wrong. His dad told me that he would take it from here, and to get all my stuff and if i forgot anything to message him and he would return it. Q grabbed the bag while I thanked his dad, and we both left unscathed.

I had a talk with his dad about what happened, and his dad basically chewed him out for how he treated me, and how that’s not how you treat a woman. I thanked him again, because he deescalated the situation by coming in the room.

Yea i was shoved and Q was insulted, but the both of us agree that this is the best outcome. His dad basically saved R from being beat up in his own home by Q (Q is 6’2 250 lbs). I’m lucky enough that this was the outcome, and that i wasn’t sexually assaulted or anything of the sort.

Thank you all for the advice, and for those who called me as dumb as a doormat, this doormat left him. R is blocked and both I and his father will not allow him to reach out regardless of the circumstance. I appreciate all the concerns and worries, but i will not be dating anyone until i heal from whatever BS this was. Thank you everyone. ❤️

r/TwoHotTakes May 11 '24

Update Update [AITA for not asking my In-laws to give money to my sister]

826 Upvotes

An update to my update: there are a lot of comments and I am unable to respond to all of them with the same explanation so here it is. Snake did NOT allow them into my home. She did make the mistake of telling my mom and sister where she would be at. We never expected this of our mom and sister. After uploading this I looked at my Ring camera footage for the first time. Yes its stupid that it took this long. Please keep in mind this all happened in a short amount of time and my mind has literally been everywhere at once. My sister and my mom showed up at around 3PM, my Snake answered the door and asked why they were there. They mumbled some bullshit answer that my camera didnt catch and they walked inside. I couldn’t see if she attempted to stop them, it happened quickly so I dont think she even had the processing time to understand what was happening. Snake stood in our entry way as my mom and sister ransacked the house. She didn’t participate whatsoever in ransacking my home. My sister motioned her over after finding our vacation fund jar and handed her money as they counted. No, Snake shouldnt have taken the money. She should have called me the moment they came into my home. But I dont know about you, but my processing capabilities were not what they are now. My sister apologized to me after the fact. She told me she didnt know what to do and didnt want them to be pissed at her for snitching. She was SCARED. Scared of my mom and sister and scared of how I would react. She might be almost an adult, but she is still a child. She is still learning how to be an adult. I am not stupid for not giving her to the police. She is a transgender woman who lives in an EXTREMELY conservative city. They do NOT CARE FOR GENDER, they ONLY care about the born sex of an individual. She has been assaulted for her gender multiple times and I was not throwing her to the snakes. She will learn from this, as ALL KIDS DO. I will put her safety over EVERYTHING, because money and valuables can be replaced. My sister did say she was sorry. She promised to try to gain our trust back. She has been working around my house all weekend and has helped me tremendously with my two kids. She cries whenever she thinks about what happened. She feels so guilty for what happened. Now as for my mom and sister, they are grown ass adults who knew better. They are being charged with destruction of property and stealing. They are NOT being charged with breaking and entering, as they were technically allowed inside. My father will be back in town hopefully tomorrow so he can get my mom and sister out on bail. There is not a court date yet. As for my sister, once our dad is back she will be returning home to them. She will be coming over on weekends to help me around the house to make up for what happened. Aside from that, she will no longer be moving in with me temporarily until i can trust her again. I am also going no contact with my mom and other sister. I have their numbers and social medias blocked already. A lot of you seem to forget that 17 is barely grown, if grown at all. This is the first time anything like this has happened involving her. Please give her some grace.

Didnt expect to need to make an update but here I am. Some details have been changed in minor ways for anonymity due to police investigation.

So more context: I have 2 sisters. The one this is mainly about and my other sister who is 17. My 17 year old sister, lets call her Snake, hasn’t ever had a good relationship with our parents and our other sister. Snake is transgender-mtf. I was the first one she came out to because I am bisexual and have been out since I was 14. When she came out to my family, they denied her gender and have yet to refer to her as her preferred name. If she brings a friend home, they deadname her in front of them, even if they don’t know her deadname. She quit bringing friends home after this happened a few times. We’ve been planning on her moving in with us once she turned 18 due to this.

That being said, she came over a few days ago to housesit my cats overnight and to start planning out how her room will look once she moves in. My husband and I had to take our kids out of town for a work event.

I have cameras in my house. I didn’t plan on checking them because I trusted my sister. But while we were out for food, I had this gut feeling I needed to check my cameras. When I did, I saw my sister and my mom literally raiding my house. They were checking jars, boxes, doors, everything. I suspect it was to find our safe, but that is my speculation. I didn’t bother calling anyone, I just started saving the footage.

They ended up finding my husbands and my vacation fund jar, something we started after watching a tiktoker who saves all her tips from waitressing for a vacation. They broke the jar on camera and started counting the money and literally split it up. It wasn’t much, maybe $70. They then tossed the pieces and just left.

I immediately called the cops and ended up calling my husbands lawyer to see what steps we should take.

We ended up leaving right after this and called the cops when we were about 15 minutes away from my moms house. We got there about the same time as the police did.

My mom came out and started immediately screaming at me and telling my sister to come out (Snake was still at my house). They started claiming they werent ever at my house. Pulled out my phone and showed the footage.

So now I am forced to take my sister Snake in and my other sister’s son on top of my two kids because neither had anywhere else to stay and they are both minors. (Edit- I was heated when I typed this, I wasn’t exactly forced. I could have sent Snake in to jail with my family but since she is 17 and transgender, I didnt want to risk her being out into a cell with men. The boy on the other hand I did have to take in. My sisters bd is not in the picture and never will be because he forced her to get pregnant)

So thats my life now I guess. I just dont even know what to say or how to react. I feel like I am living in a sitcom or something and Im waiting for the jokes to start. Snake and I aren’t talking, and she is restricted to her bedroom until she can give me a good explanation for why she allowed that to happen. I still allow her to eat with us for meals and allow her to use the bathroom and go to school, but beyond that she is essentially grounded, if you can call it that. She hasn’t spoken to any of us since our mom and sister were arrested. My sisters son stays in our bedroom on a futon.

Thats the update though. I tried giving the credit but fuck that. Im done. Once they pick up my sister and nephew it’s full no contact now. (I am not paying their bail)

r/TwoHotTakes 29d ago

Update Update!!! I (24F) told the man I’m talking to (30M) that I am nervous to meet him because I am overweight.

1.7k Upvotes

Hi guys, I do have an update for everyone. I wanted to start by thanking everyone for the very kind comments and encouraging messages. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read this post and give thoughtful advice.

I also wanted to address all of the photos on my hinge profile and instagram are from the past 8 months. None of my old photos from when I was thinner are present on either platform. However, I do feel these photos are more flattering angels of myself.

Now onto the update. An hour after my intitula post he did see and reply to my message. I got super nervous and took some time to calm my nerves before opening and replying. To my absolute delight it was very thoughtful and kind message.

“Op. You were considering waiting and making excuses not to meet???

You’re beyond fine. I appreciate the vulnerability, but you didn’t need to say all of this. However, since you did I’ll say this back. Wherever you’re at is fine! You’re beautiful, and there’s no need to worry. I’m not worried one way or another. Lifestyle, chemistry, and compatibility are what’s important to me when looking at who I’m interested in seeing… not if they’re some arbitrary societal standard of weight or beauty.

If there’s anything I can do to ease that worry, let me know.”

We ended up talking until about 4 in the morning and I’m happy to say that we will be meeting when he is back in the beginning of June.

Thank you so much again! I will maybe give another update in the future here soon.

r/TwoHotTakes 25d ago

Update My Husband Cheated on Me with My Stepmother- Update

1.2k Upvotes

Hi everyone, I wanted to give an update since my last post. First, I want to thank all of you for your overwhelming support and advice. Reading your comments and messages helped me feel less alone in this nightmare.

After a lot of reflection and talking to my lawyer, I decided to file for divorce. Dave and I had a long, painful conversation about it. He was surprisingly calm, almost resigned to the fact that this was the inevitable outcome. I think part of him expected me to forgive him, but this betrayal is something I can’t get past. I kicked him out after the conversation was done but I don’t know where he went and I am currently blocked.

We’ve been working through the details of the divorce. It's messy, but I’m relieved to be moving forward. My father has been my rock through all of this. He’s decided to divorce Lisa too. He told me that he could never trust her again after what she did to me and to our family.

Interestingly, just a few days ago, Lisa showed up at my father’s house, begging for forgiveness. She claimed she was “confused” and “made a mistake.” My father told her to leave and not come back. She then tried to reach out to me, but I blocked her number. I have no interest in hearing her excuses.

I’m focusing on healing and starting over. I have also started therapy, so thank you to everyone how advised me to start. We meet 2 times a week and it really helps me to process my thoughts about everything. The house feels different, emptier, but it’s also a space for new beginnings. Thank you again for all your support. I’ll update again if there are any significant changes.

Edit: I am not a fake account nor is the post fake or "karma farm", I haven't been using Reddit for a long time as I only have 102d and I don't comment because I don't know what to say. I just wanted to share my story and get some advice but I am very really person. So thank you to everyone who commented me advice and not on my case about allegedly being a "bot" or "karma farmer" or a fake post. This is from my last post for the people that want to claim this again.

r/TwoHotTakes May 09 '24

Update Anyone remember the “should I divorce my husband even though he’s a good man” post? Well….

1.1k Upvotes

That was me on a different account. I found out after posting that my now soon to be ex-husband was essentially stalking me on that email address.

He was NOT a good man. My oldest daughter, the one we both legally adopted, disclosed at school that he TRIGGER WARNING sexually assaulted her about a year ago. This was right around when he finally started to make “changes” to do better. He really had me believing that everything was my fault and that I was the problem in our marriage.

I knew something was off, that something was wrong, but I never guessed it would have been this.

He’s been arrested (bailed out by his disgusting parents) and is no longer in my home. I have all three children full time (no legal agreement, but he’s not allowed to be within 500 feet of any minor, so….) and I’m figuring out how to fix all of the financial ruin he left me in.

He refuses to help financially though he still has his job. He STILL works from home, he just lives with his mommy.

My youngest who my ex used to stay home with is doing MUCH better in the short weeks he’s been out of his “care”. My oldest is finally starting to get her spark back, though dealing with the legal battle is extremely draining and traumatizing for her (My ex had a lawyer retained before he was ever even arrested. Took out a huge personal loan to pay for it). My middle child is doing okay, but I very emotional, as is expected.

I am loving on my babies as much as I can while I pick up the pieces.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I guess I just was hoping at least one person who tore me to shreds on the last post would change their mind about me. See me as a human. Understand that I knew something was wrong even if I didn’t KNOW what it was. I’m drowning in debt and I have no idea how I will afford the legal battle to come (he’s suing for visitation with my two youngest children). I guess I was hoping for some kindness and support.

If you made it this far, thank you. ❤️