r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

for all the women that would choose the bear, we have a private, heavily moderated sub, r/safespaceforwoman 🇵🇸 🕊️ Modern Witches

ACKACKACK something happened, and rediti lost a bunch of comments, messages, and join requests. if you haven't heard back by this point, we've gone through every request in all forms that weren't lost by reddit (i think the mishap was due to getting so many requests that reddit pooped itself...) Anyways, if you haven't heard back, plesae resend a request, via either DM, chat, request to join, or comment here. and you have my apologies for losing all of the requests*

**Saturday Update: we've gotten to all the requests that were replies to this post. we are still going through all of the join request messages directly to the mods, lots of those let. it's a slow process, but worth it!

I should add that for some reason, some of the replies/comments didn't show up, so IF you commented/replied here and you didn't get a response, send me a DM or a chat**

Thursday (6 days later) update: myself and the other mods are still steadily slogging through all the requests. i promise you, we will get to all of them, one way or another!

Monday Update: if you haven't heard back from the mod team at r/safespaceforwoman yet, don't worry. we are working through all the join requests one by one, and i promise, we will get to you!

ETA: so everyone is tracking, we have a backlog of over 3000 4000 5000+ join requests at this point. that doesn't mean don't ask to join, it just means it will be a while before we, the mods, get to everyone. also, if everyone who reads this could do me a favor: please upvote this post and some of the comments. it looks like there is a wave of downvotes coming in from men and terfs and it just pushes the post lower down in the list for people to see.

hey, we have a private (no men allowed), heavily moderated subreddit for anyone that would choose the bear.

r/safespaceforwoman

FAQ: 1-how is it a safe space? because we vett everyone who requests to join. no men allowed, and no bigots, including misogynyists, transphobes, queerphobes, racists, no body shaming, no ageism, no ableism, etc...

2-how is it private? unless you are approved to join, you can't see any of the posts or comments in there. completely private.

3-how heavily moderated is it? we have 9 mods who monitor the sub to make sure none of the above type of people somehow sneak in. we do allow discussions about most everything, though.

4-how do we vet everyone? i won't lie, this part is a bit creepy; we look through your post and comment history, and make sure that you are a woman, and that you aren't a bigot. if you have no post history, we do have a couple of other options, but those are special cases.

5-do you allow trans women in your safe space for women? trans women are women. 'nuff said.

6-do you allow non-binary people in? that depends. femme leaning and neutralish enbies are allowed in, if they want to. this is not saying enbies are women, but it is taking into account that enbies suffer from the same issues a lot of women face, discrimination at the hands of men.

7-do you allow trans men in? in general, no. trans men are men. they are not "men-lite" and to say so is transphobic. if a specific trans man wants in, and he has a really solid case, due to some shared experiences, the mods will consider it. same goes for masc leaning enbies.

8-are we welcoming to the LGBTQIA+ community? duh. yes, we are. no men, of course, but whether you are gay, straight, pan, bi, ace, aro, trans, cis, or any combination of the above, you are welcome.

9-why is woman spelled with an a, not an e? safespaceforwomen was already taken, was a very low traffic subreddit, and was not private. so, we made do.

10-can non members see your posts or comments?-no. the sub is private. you have to be a member of the sub to see posts and comments.

10-are pet pictures required upon entry? no, but somehow, the pet tax became a theme, and now lots of our members post pet pics. but we don't just talk about cute, furry animals; we discuss serious subjects. we talk about issues around the world, and locally, without worrying that some dude is going to say "notallmen" or interject with their opinion, "ackshually, the bear is more dangerous..."

if you are interested, please either go to the subreddit and click on message the mods (you can't actually see the subreddit, just the landing page that says "message the mods"), or reply to this post, or send me a DM, or send me a chat.

again, the caveat is that we will look at your post/comment history to make sure you meet the requirements for the sub, but i will say this: all of us mods have looked at hundreds, if not thousands of post histories over the past week or so when we started advertising the sub, and it's all a blur. i don't remember anything, at this point, from any individual post history.

side note: if you're a dude, asking if you can join the sub just to learn, the answer is no. this is a space for women, not men. learn to take no for an answer.

this post is mod-approved by the mods of wvp

i should note that the last time we advertised the sub, we had over 2000 requests to join, and it took almost a week to get to all of them. i promise that we, the mods, will get to everyone, it just will take time.

this is not to take away from any other subreddit, this is an alternative space that is free of men.

mobile users aren't able to request to join, so just post a comment here, and we will get to you!

Q: what do you need to do once you get a message saying you're approved? you need to go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on "join"

ETA: please don't message the mods of wvp, they are not affiliated with the safespaceforwoman sub, although plenty of them are members there.

4.1k Upvotes

2.5k comments sorted by

u/hypd09 28d ago

For clarity, this is a separate subreddit not affiliated with Witchesvspatriarchy, some of the mods are members there and vice versa but there is no moderation overlap.

Please use this link to ask to join them, we(mods of r/wvp) can't help you.

https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/safespaceforwoman

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u/ursa_ludens Literary Witch ♀⚧ 28d ago

Am I welcome to join, being mostly a lurker on reddit? I tend to post very little, and comment only slightly more. Mostly I just read the experiences and thoughts of other people, and only rather occasionally comment when I feel I can contribute.

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u/MsBeef 28d ago

I feel like most of what I would comment has already been commented, so I lurk.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

invite coming your way! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/Areiannie 28d ago

Same here!

I think I'm neurodivergent (not diagnosed yet!) And Durkee socially so I am the biggest lurker unless it's something I'm absolutely totally sure about.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

i got you, welcome to our little corner of reddit! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/dhtrofisis 28d ago

I am very much a lurker. I only have a few posts up in like six(?) Years and they approved me

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

there was enough there for us to make a decision. we go by both post and comment history, so that helps.

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u/corgi_glitter Kitchen Witch ♀ 28d ago

Me 4!

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

invite coming your way! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/hwlpimconfusion 28d ago

I'm the same and also requested to join

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

i got you, welcome to our little corner of reddit! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/trea_ceitidh 27d ago

Me too. I mostly lurk but I would like to join too, if it's permitted.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

i've added you! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/dracona Geek Witch ☉ 🌒🌕🌘 28d ago

I would believe that lurking is fine, it's problematic peoples (Karens, bigots, hatefilled people) they are avoiding.

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u/Nelyahin 27d ago

Let’s hope the painful vetting process with exclude these. Sending positive vibes to all the mods.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

i got you! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/mossling 28d ago

I'd like to join. 

I often share stories of my abortion and the trauma I've experienced at the hands of men, but then I usually panic and delete it shortly after so I'm not sure how far back you'll have to go to find anything that's not chickens and plants in my history, though 

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago

I’m sorry, but I had to stalk you a tiny bit. And by “stalk,” I mean I looked at the first 10 or so chicken pics you posted. I LOVED the “you walked into the wrong neighborhood” post! They do look like a chicken street gang who’re staring you down and being scary, lol. Perfect post title 🤌🏼

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u/RenzaMcCullough 28d ago

So, naturally, I had to look at the chicken pics, and I'm glad I did.

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago

Right‽ Those are some cute lil cluckers.

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u/Areiannie 28d ago

Had to look as well, can confirm many chickens much happiness 😃

I also loved the photo of the other animals staring at them through the fence with their ears popping out from the top 🥰

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago

Such fuzzy ears! :D

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u/mossling 27d ago

Don't they look so pettable?! The big fuzzy ears are one of my favorite things about moose!

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u/ImAnActionBirb 27d ago

Now all of our lives have been made a little better by Mossling and their chickens 💛🐣🐔🐓

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u/LenoreEvermore 27d ago

I had to go and see as well and goddam those are some nice chickens! Makes me yearn for a yard full of animals.

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u/mossling 27d ago

Thank you! I highly recommend it. There's nothing more soothing than working in the yard with my chicken "helpers" foraging around me. 

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u/RunawayHobbit 28d ago

Please inform Minnow that I love her

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u/mossling 27d ago

She has been informed and says that you're pretty swell, too 💚

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u/thefurrywreckingball 28d ago

I'm totally here for chicken pics!

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u/ParisHoneybee Eclectic Witch She/Her 🏳️‍🌈🥅 28d ago

🫂

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u/ImAnActionBirb 27d ago

I think the "Cluck the Patriarchy" sign should do it! 💙💜

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u/sprinklesvondoom 28d ago

please tell your chickens i said hello ♡

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u/bomchikawowow 27d ago

Me too 💜

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u/Nelyahin 27d ago

Hugs. I’m so sorry.

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u/djinnisequoia 28d ago

Looks like you'll be swamped for awhile. I would like to join and will patiently await an invite.

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u/Whiskey456 28d ago

This is exactly what I was thinking of writing here! I’m also interested in joining and I will also wait for an invite.

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u/unravelledrose 28d ago

Same. I'd also like to join, but also am patient.

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u/Ddog78 lurkin' and listenin' ♂ 28d ago edited 27d ago

i should note that the last time we advertised the sub, we had over 2000 requests to join, and it took almost a week to get to all of them.

Damn.

Y'all need to use reddit metis to suppliment this at the very least. It analysis a users comment history and gives you the info (along with reference comment links to show where it got the info from). It was built before gpt so it's not doing anything with the data too, except analysis.

A random example -

https://redditmetis.com/user/Pro07

Edit: Is it cringe nowadays to say thank you for the awards? 😯

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u/nicekona 28d ago

That was wild. I didn’t know I said “fucking” so much.

And I like how it filed “potato chip sandwiches” under my interests lmao. Have I brought that up more than once?!

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u/Vanviator 28d ago

I love that my least wholesome comment was on here, lol.

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u/jasminel96 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was “Grim is so unserious 🤣🤣” on the sims 4 subreddit lmao!

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u/Dragon19572 Sapphic Witch ⚧︎ 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was

Your Evil Twin

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u/Sunshine030209 Resting Witch Face 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was "It's his evil twin, Hans Ramorè! Gasp"

We should get together and discuss evil twins over hot chocolate and brownies.

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u/Dragon19572 Sapphic Witch ⚧︎ 28d ago

Hot chocolate. Yummy. But can we do fried cheesecake bites instead of brownies?

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u/Sunshine030209 Resting Witch Face 28d ago

That must have been my evil twin suggesting the brownies, because fried cheesecake bites sound amazing! Yes we can!

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u/Dragon19572 Sapphic Witch ⚧︎ 28d ago

Lol. I like using the variety flavor cheesecake for fried cheesecake bites. Just wish I had some cheesecake right now, as I'd be making those instead of fried dough

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u/Garrwolfdog 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was me telling a tree to go home cos it was drunk, apparently XD

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u/megggie 28d ago

Mine was “I appreciate you, and yes, joints are evil.”

I’m pro-420, I can only imagine I was talking about arthritis hahaha

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u/jasminel96 27d ago

My first thought was arm and leg joints too 🤣 arthritis is pretty evil

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u/rixendeb 27d ago

Mine was how i said Florida sucked and I got stranded there. My most wholesome was about my surgeon taking photos when she took out my appendix. But also tbf my account is a mess cause I argue in shitty subs with shitty a lot.

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u/Ilaxilil 28d ago

My best comment was apparently “squirrels are everywhere” 😂

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u/ExtraHorse 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was "That's disgusting."

But it was on r/fondanthate so I stand by it. 😆

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u/plentyofrabbits 28d ago

Ohhhh but I love fondant!

I know. I’m a weirdo. More fondant for me!!!

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u/edie_the_egg_lady 28d ago

How is my least wholesome comment "Dang garlic is like 50¢ where I'm at, that's insane". Pretty sure I've said way worse shit than that lol

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u/Lela_chan Shroom Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 28d ago

My least wholesome was “that’s sick!! Thank you for sharing!” While my most wholesome was about tentacles… I think their algorithm is a little off on that one lmaooo

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u/Bitsy34 Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was telling a terrible they were disgusting

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u/my4floofs 28d ago

My least wholesome comment was complaining how someone “just” raped someone and they didn’t think they did anything wrong. I don’t think the Métis got that one right lol

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u/PlantedinCA 28d ago

Mine was “Ms. Jackson if you are nasty” on a Janet Jackson post. 😂

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u/moreisay 28d ago

Things I like, according to this site:

Robert Smith, Mexican pointy boots, abracadabra, hint water, gingers, pletzels, Chidi

Honestly I stand behind all of this.

Least wholesome comment: "Bad bot" lmaoooo!

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u/nicekona 28d ago

Mexican pointy boots. This whole thread has made my night

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u/AlloftheBlueColors 28d ago

I didn’t know I said “fucking” so much.

I'm disappointed at how little swearing that I do on reddit. I'm a perpetual sailor in person, so the lack there of is hilarious.

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u/chasbecht 28d ago

My most wholesome comment is "DELICIOUS KRILL" and my least wholesome is "The worst butter". Both on r/badwomensanatomy. I guess it's a food subreddit, I don't remember.

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u/megggie 28d ago

My most wholesome was “Delicious!” And it was from the Anti-Trump sub. I must have been talking about the recent schadenfreude lol

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u/Cinnabon202 28d ago

I dunno, that could be delicious. Bologna sandwich with some Lays chips and cheddar cheese on it? 🤤

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u/nicekona 28d ago

Highly recommend. Sometimes I even put JUST potato chips and a little mayo between two slices of white bread, if I’m not in the mood to give a shit.

Soft sweet bread, crunchy salty chips, idk why, the taste and textures just work together perfectly

……okay maybe I DO talk about them more than I think

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u/Cinnabon202 28d ago

That sounds amazing. That would be so good right now if I had bread. (haven't gone shopping yet 😅)

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u/nicekona 27d ago

Same, I really hated typing that out cause I’m out of both bread and chips rn. Pls enjoy asap though!

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u/byxis505 28d ago

It says I like rabies and capitalism wtf

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u/H_G_Bells 28d ago

I am not a bot...

I am a lover

I am a biology nerd

I am a fiction writer

I am a ... Tasmanian fish astronaut

🤣 I know the exact comment that this got scraped from, this is hilarious.

For the record, the last two are correct as well.

All in all, pretty accurate.

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u/Vykrom 28d ago

Love this. Some of the things it picks up on are wild. Wildly accurate, and wildly inaccurate (in a funny way)

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago edited 27d ago

My top post is a post where I updated the r/cats sub about taking in an abandoned cat that everyone had been very worried about. My least-popular post was a month later, in r/CleaningTips asking how long I need to rinse my carpet off when using a particular cleaning product to clean up cat pee. You can see the progression there. 😂

My least wholesome comment is actually just a quote from a character on Bob’s Burgers who calls capoeira stupid. 😂

I’m feeling pretty good about how I’ve been analyzed, lol. It’s pretty accurate.

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u/XxInk_BloodxX 28d ago

My least popular post was folks on mycology thinking I'm too woke for suggesting someone blur a spider picture.

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago

Oh, wow. Yeah. -16! And someone just replied to you with a succinct, “🙄”

They did not like that, lol.

Overall, do you feel like the redditmetis evaluation of your account history is accurate? Did anything surprise you?

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u/XxInk_BloodxX 28d ago

I felt it was accurate, I didn't see anything to indicate my gender though so I don't feel it replaces the need to search for that. Apparently I've done a good job not indicating my location further than region. Nothing overall surprising in it.

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u/automated_alice 28d ago

These could all be things I've done. 😂

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u/KellyJoyCuntBunny 28d ago edited 28d ago

I’m always kinda relieved when I look at things like this that analyze your Reddit history. Like, I never find stuff that makes me go, “my god- is THIS how I come off to people‽,” or, “oh dear. I need to change my ways.” I’m basically like, “yeah, this tracks. This is me.” 😂

I love that you see yourself in my comments! That’s hilarious, lol.

I adopted the cat, and then a month later I’m asking how to get cat pee out of my carpet. It just sums up what’s happening in my life so well, lol

Edit- did a little minor stalking of your account, and I feel you! We’re both kindred spirits- right down to desperately seeking advice on r/ABraThatFits! That’s the thing that made me laugh. I still haven’t totally worked it out, either. I hate my bra.

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u/automated_alice 28d ago

I swear there was a period of time where cleaning cat pee out of carpet was my full time job.

My best comment is a quote from The Emperor's New Groove and my worst is the biggest hill I will die on (ISO 8601 - the international standard for date and time). 😂

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u/Fraerie 28d ago

I’m with you on the date thing - I have to explain it at work constantly for file naming conventions and it drives me mental when people use day-month-year instead of year-month-day (not in the USA so at least we don’t use month-day-year).

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u/Amiesama 28d ago

My least wholesome comment per Redditmetis made me snort. It was me telling a story about how my young child told his dad that he loves mommy the most, every evening for two years. 😅 The child has shifted his loyalties every now and then since, but that was brutal.

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u/Sunshine030209 Resting Witch Face 28d ago

"Sweet dreams, Dad. Just so you know, you're alright, but you know who's really great? Mom! Goodnight!" 😆

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u/edie_the_egg_lady 28d ago

Mine did say my favorite things are rats and weird food, which is absolutely true

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u/Vykrom 28d ago

Aw, mine just gives my interests and likes, but didn't try to guess my favorite

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u/Dick-the-Peacock 28d ago

Just FYI, this site thinks I’m male, and I’m not. I assume it’s because I’ve mentioned having a wife. My handle has made people assume I’m male, but I’ve never deliberately tried to deceive anyone.

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u/RunawayHobbit 28d ago

Idk, it thinks I’m male too and lists my relationship with my husband. I think it just isn’t very good at gender and defaults to male when it doesn’t know

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u/kataklysm_revival Secular Witch 28d ago

That’s a really neat tool

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u/TheSilverFalcon 28d ago

Ooo, how many times do I have to say I have a pet sabertooth tiger before it saves it?

My pet sabertooth tiger is soft. My pet tiger likes to sleep. My pet tiger ate the mailman one time. My pet tiger hangs out with my other pets including my pet raven, my pet capybara, and my pet dragon. Come on bot, do your thing!

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u/Illogical-Pizza 28d ago

Oooh I hate it

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u/Wolfinder Kitchen Witch ♀ 28d ago

This was wild for me too. I enjoy that my least wholesome comment was still wholesome. I don't know why it thinks I like Teslas, and I'm no-con with my blood parents, but besides that, it's a pretty accurate read. https://redditmetis.com/user/Wolfinder

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u/nobadrabbits 27d ago

That's an interesting site. Thanks for posting about it.

That being said, it's also wildly inaccurate.

No, I do not now nor have I ever had a brother. (In fact, I don't think I've ever written a post in which I used the word "brother" in any context.)

No, I'm not particularly interested in shopping, "female fashion," cars (although I do have a soft spot for my Prius), personal finance, iOS, the U.K., and/or travel (I can't afford it).

With the exception of cars (because of my Prius), I honestly can't fathom how this program even came up with this stuff.

But it was fun to read.

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u/Spectre_Hayate nonhuman divination man🏳️‍⚧️ 28d ago

This was absolutely hilarious honestly, ty for the link. Idk why it decided to pull what it did but it's very funny. I evidently say "I'm a Lynette main" a lot more than i thought i did lmao

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u/acousticalcat 28d ago

It thinks I’m in a relationship lol

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u/vanillaseltzer 28d ago

It lists "ex-husband" as my current relationship. It also goes on to list how many times I've said I'm a lesbian (many!). Definitely not perfect but still really cool!

Mainly I'm like 😱 that I've written EIGHTY THOUSAND WORDS. I've literally written the length of a novel.

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u/Fraerie 28d ago

I’m only at 62.7k words. I’m an amateur.

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u/Metruis Wyrding Word Witch ☉ 27d ago

I'm at 88k. D:

To be fair I have written several novels and have multiple millions of word count on fiction so I'm not astounded by this, but maybe, just maybe, I should go work on those instead, I don't know.

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u/BoseczJR 28d ago

Hey, this will be my 1000th comment apparently! How neat

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u/RunawayHobbit 28d ago

Your tool isn’t terribly accurate. It believes I am a male— I am decidedly not male lmao. It also missed that I have two cats, even thought I’ve made whole posts about them multiple times.

Weird the things it latches onto and the things it misses

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u/Metruis Wyrding Word Witch ☉ 27d ago

Huh, well, that was interesting and insightful. Not too far off. I'm apparently 88% wholesome and communicate at the level of a high school graduate, and it knows that I'm an artist, what kind of artist I am and some of my artistic quirks, so that's nice. Though it does think my most wholesome comment was "you win generational trauma!" so I don't think it's QUITE on the money here...

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u/ChrisssieWatkins 27d ago

This is amazing. I say love and ketamine a lot.

Here’s mine for the new sub moderator. Please let me in! 💖

https://redditmetis.com/user/ChrisssieWatkins

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u/camimiele Witch ♀🦈🩵 28d ago

That’s so cool!

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u/ogrimmarfashionweek 28d ago

I would like to join please. I tend to avoid admitting outright that I'm female on platforms like reddit, but I think it comes through 😅

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u/mndcee 28d ago

Same, I’d like to join and check it out! Not many women-only places around.

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u/Calm_Examination_672 Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 28d ago

Yes, same. Please invite me. I am a woman.

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u/ready_gi Bi Witch 28d ago

same here. i'd like to join as well please

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u/merpderpherpburp 28d ago

I'm already a member but am I allowed to post funny women centric videos? Like I got this new bra and it fit so bad but I don't want to show it because there's no where safe where people won't sexualize it.

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u/creppyspoopyicky 28d ago

FUCK TITTY JAIL!!!! 😹

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

...i have no idea if we enabled videos or not. i'll check on it at some point. but i see no reason why not!

unless the videos have a misogynistic lean to them, of course, but i wouldn't expect that.

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u/thebeandream 28d ago

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u/merpderpherpburp 28d ago

Nope gross creeps will be like "oh wow you're so beautiful 😍 🤩 " Ew. I posted it so other big breasted people would go "same!" and create a community conversation around it

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u/neuroctopus 28d ago

Hello. I’m an old woman, I say old because I don’t really understand exactly how to do landing pages. Can you snoop on me and then let me in? Thank you, if that’s possible

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u/Lela_chan Shroom Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 28d ago

I think all you have to do is click on the link: r/safespaceforwoman, then type a sentence or so in the box about why you want to join, and then click the “request to join” button. I’m not sure if it’s different on a computer, but that’s what it looks like on my phone.

I hope this is helpful - I read above that the sub is not affiliated with this one, so the mods here unfortunately can’t do it for you.

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u/neuroctopus 28d ago

Thank you, dear! Have a cookie and a hug.

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u/ImAnActionBirb 27d ago

❤️ So wholesome. Have a couple of upvotes on me!

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u/Low_Big5544 28d ago

I know you say it's completely private, and I understand posts and comments on the page itself can't be seen by non-members, but if I were to make a post or comment would they show up in my history/activity on my profile?

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

the only people who will be able to see anything fro the subreddit on your posting history is people who are also members of the subreddit.

for everyone else, they will not see that in your post history.

that said, i believe we invited you 2 weeks ago or so. Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join” if you can't see the subreddit, let me know.

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u/Low_Big5544 28d ago

Ok this is great to know :)

Yes you did, I joined then but haven't posted anything yet. Not for this reason, but since it came up I thought it would be a good time to clarify 

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u/AerynBevo 28d ago

Request sent. I’ve never looked at my own post history, but I’ve never hidden my gender.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/HiveJiveLive 28d ago

It won’t let me click on anything but I’d very much like an invitation, please!

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u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 28d ago

Guy here. It saddens me that every space isn't safe for women. Hopefully, some day, this will be obsolete. Until then, I'm glad it exists.

Regarding the "side note," it's good that men want to learn about why women need safe spaces. However, I think a guy in that sub could be seen as another example of the "male gaze." Guys, read a book, listen to the women who are already in your life.

I'll stop before I break my arm, patting myself on the back.

Stay safe, folks!

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u/IHateUsernames876 28d ago

Plus I think this sub is fine for men wanting to learn anyways

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u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 28d ago

Exactly, that's one of the reasons I'm here!

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u/ExceedinglyGaySnowy 28d ago

thats why im here! plus its just a fun place.

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u/BangBangMeatMachine 28d ago

I also want to add that it hurts to be excluded only on the basis of your gender identity when you're doing all you can to advance and support true safety and equality for all genders, but I can also recognize why something like this needs to exist in the very unequal and unsafe society we have now.

I'm here because I want to be supportive of women and I want to contribute meaningfully to the efforts of this sub, and I would join that one for the same reason. I would like to be the kind of person that can be an exception to rules like this, who is trustworthy enough to feel safe with, but I understand why that kind of distinction just isn't feasible for online commitments right now.

I wish you all the best in this effort.

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u/Imp0212 28d ago

Can I get an invite to join please? I'm on mobile.

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u/Shady_Sorceress 28d ago edited 28d ago

I left that sub because you let “proud transmedicalist” flaired truscum spout their homophobic “drop the T” rhetoric unfettered.

Not a safe space for trans women where truscum are allowed to be “proud”.

Edit: I didn't realize this would get as much traction as it did, and I want to clarify that I think the mods there are good people in my estimation and that the sub itself is overall good. I was disappointed in their decision not to remove an active user there who I think is overtly bigoted, but I can also see how a more tempered and patient reading could conclude otherwise. I still disagree that the user belongs in a safe space for *all* women, but I don't think that reflects on the sub or its moderation overall.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

my apologies. i'm not sure who you're talking about, but and i didn't see anyone flaired "proud transmedicalists". please contact me with the details, as that is NOT what we are after in the sub.

and to be clear, some of the mods, including me, are trans women, and none of us are trans meds, and i guarantee you, that i am vehemntly against transmed rhetoric.

yes, there are some transmeds/truscum in the sub, but i spoke with each of them prior to allowing them to join, stating no transmed rhetoric will be allowed.

that said, we aren't perfect, and may have missed something, so i'd appreciate it if you let me know.

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u/Shady_Sorceress 28d ago

I will gladly send you the information when I have a moment to dig it back up.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

please, we really do want to keep the sub a safe space for all women, trans and cis.

and if you decide to come back to the sub, if you see anything like that in the future, always feel free to message the mods, and let us know. reports don't always show the details, but in a message to the mods, you can explain more. we'll gladly do the work to keep it safe, but none of us are perfect.

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u/AJSLS6 28d ago

Are you sure it's not the other sub? Theres another non private sub spelled women, this one is spelled woman, a situation ripe for confusion, just ask the /saltier than crait/krayt/crayat/krait folks, I still can't keep track of which ones are bigoted vs not.

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u/Shady_Sorceress 28d ago

Yes, I was invited on one of the last posts here.

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u/steffie-punk Geek Witch ♀ 28d ago

I think I know which one you’re talking about, the post about trans-inclusive intersectional feminism? The post talks about trans women not being lgbtq and a few other controversial topics

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u/Shady_Sorceress 28d ago

Yes that’s the one.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

ah, ok, i found the post you are talking about. there was a report on that post, and i did say in the post, that i'd appreciate whoemever reported that post to send me a message so we could chat.

couple of things about that post and poster.

-while her flair is "unapologetic transsexual female" which is often indicative of a transmed, there are plenty of trans women who still use the transsexual label. i, personally, don't like that label, for a variety of reasons, but i'm not going to use it as a reason to ban anyone.

-she later in, one of her comments said that for her specifically, she felt being trans was a medical condition, but that she was not gatekeeping being trans for anyone else. again, close to the line, but not crossed over.

-we (me and the other mods) kept a very close watch on that post to see what would come of it. in the end, we decided to keep it, especially as she emphasized multiple times throughout that trans women ARE women.

tl;dr we are watching and looking out for truscum rhetoric, and will stop it. in that case, i don't believe it crossed the line. if you have a differeing opinion, please let me know, and we can discuss.

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u/Shady_Sorceress 28d ago

I think that's a reasonable response on your part as moderators. For me, I feel like as she is active on a certain truscum sub, does not herself believe in the validity of gender identity, and is calling for trans people not to be considered part of the LGBT community... I do think the "unapologetic" part is a dog-whistle that she is not using "transsexual" innocently. I think it's pretty clear from her opinions that she's using it in the truscum sense. I do read it, in this particular case, as equivalent to "proud truscum", albeit one who is playing nice. But that is my opinion, and like I said, I find your dissenting opinion reasonable.

I think y'all are good people and appreciate the purpose & intent behind the sub. I don't think I'll be returning though.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

I don't think I'll be returning though.

honestly, i'm sorry to hear that. i think we'd be better off with you there. but it is, of course, your choice.

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u/wishesandhopes Traitor to the Patriarchy ♂️ 28d ago

I do wish I could take part in more close knit groups like this, but I also get it's not for me and it's important that they exist. I do wish there were more spaces and groups like that made by men that are feminists and reject patriarchy, because it's not as if I fit in with typical cis men; nor do I want to. I also live somewhere pretty shitty, so sadly it leaves me without "my people" so to speak.

Men's spaces just almost always get infested with incel rhetoric; r guycry (don't want to link to them) was a sub that seemed okay for men to discuss feelings from a feminist perspective, and then of course the founder turns out to be a complete piece of shit who believes in patriarchal and capitalist values, and I was banned for calling him out. If anyone is looking, the only decent one I have found is r/menslib, they seem to have a solid group of mods.

Someone told me I must be non binary as toxic masculinity is part of being a cis man, and without it you aren't cis. I vehemently disagree with this, I think it lets those toxic cis men off the hook for their behaviour which is absolutely a choice and learned rather than innate. I certainly embrace a feminine side of myself, but part of me feels as if a lot of what someone might consider feminine about me is really just having empathy and being in touch with yourself and your emotions. But, I think if I was in an accepting environment these traits may become stronger to the point of being more of a masc leaning non binary. Who knows.

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u/Skitty27 28d ago

I feel you dude! I'm a trans guy and i feel the same. even /r/bropill, that used to be good, has started getting weird.

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u/wishesandhopes Traitor to the Patriarchy ♂️ 28d ago

Yep that's another one, definitely a big mix of users and I'm not surprised it's becoming more problematic. I'm a little jealous of all the awesome women's groups, especially witchy ones where they hang out and do cool stuff at night. But I get 100% why they generally don't allow men, and they don't really exist as an actual group where I am anyway.

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u/SimplyMavlius Witch ♂️ 28d ago

I'm sorry you don't have any people to surround yourself with irl. If you want another someone to talk to, albeit online, my DMs are open!

100% agree with everything you said

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u/wishesandhopes Traitor to the Patriarchy ♂️ 28d ago

Thank you, that's kind! I don't always have the energy but I may take you up on that.

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u/SimplyMavlius Witch ♂️ 28d ago

No pressure!!

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u/bliip666 Nonbinary Green Witch 🌵 28d ago

I hear you. R Not How Boys Work was supposed to be the wholesome brother of r/NotHowGirlsWork, but then the incels came and it turned into endless, pointless, bs about height, where if you pointed out that most women don't actually care about how tall you are (this including many women saying this) you were downvoted to oblivion.
I haven't checked it in a while but I doubt it's gotten any more reasonable (if it even exists anymore)

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u/griddlecan 27d ago

OT to the main thread, but I've never heard of folks saying someone might not be cis if they reject toxic masculinity (called "hegemonic" back in my sociology days). My feeling is I want to be the best example I can be for other cis men that you can have masculinity (or -ties) that is (are) both healthy for you and others. I've always hated certain aspects of "man-ness" since childhood, but haven't ever felt I'm anything other than a man. Chalk it up to stubbornness, I guess. Fuck those guys, I'm me. (Not those who might say I'm NB/GD, I'd take that add a compliment, but hegetoxic men.)

Back on topic, I'm glad to see safer spaces being cultivated and shared with those who might benefit.

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u/hahahahthunk 28d ago

There is no option to join

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

it all depends on whether you are on new vs old reddit, mobile reddit, the reddit app, etc... whether the option for an invite shows or not.

that said, you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/Headhaunter79 28d ago

Can I have an invite too?🙏🏻😊

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u/Alyoshucks 28d ago

May I have an invite as well, please.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

I’m not femme and so I won’t try to join, but I’m glad to see the wording has been changed from the last time I saw this post. Could see some people having their feathers ruffled over the first title. Best of luck to y’all anyhow

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u/MyKindOfLullaby 28d ago

NB here, people always see me as a woman but I’m also not femme and don’t identify as a woman so I don’t feel comfy joining. I love safe spaces for people though.

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u/adorkabletrex 28d ago

Please add me! I don't post or comment a ton but I'd be happy to go through whatever your other verification methods are.

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u/alancake 28d ago

Me 🙋‍♀️ please :) I am not actually an Alan (definitely part cake though)

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u/kellieb71 28d ago

Request sent - Bear Zone is best zone!

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u/imugihana 28d ago

I would love to join but I am on mobile.

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u/N0thing_but_fl0wers 28d ago

I just clicked on it on mobile and got the join button no problem!

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

it just depends, everyone's UX is different, honestly.

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u/QueenScorp 28d ago

Also on mobile but all I get is a note saying it's a private community, no option to join

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u/Onion_Guy 28d ago

happy this exists for yall & is created/moderated by such a good & attentive community. Godspeed witches ☺️🧹

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u/ChainsmokerCreature 28d ago

I am on mobile. I would love to join, if allowed. I'm non binary, definitely femme leaning. In safe spaces I use she/her. But I was assigned male at birth, and nowadays, due to the intolerance and hate where I'm from, I try to pass as a dude half the time. So I'm not sure I qualify.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

AGAB honestly doesn't matter to us; it's how you view yourself, and by your description, you fit who we want in the sub (and your comment history confirms it).

as a binary trans woman, i can definitely emphasize with trying to be safe from intolerance and hate (and violence).

that said, you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/ChainsmokerCreature 28d ago

Thank you so much for accepting me, and for your kind words! It really means a lot, and I was kinda needing something like this lately🖤

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u/DeadlyRBF 28d ago

As a non-binary person I feel unsure about being in this group or not. I get the reasoning behind it, but non-binary people are not always "masc" or "femme" leaning or even exclusively "masc" or "femme" leaning. I seek out women's spaces because of shared experiences, but I never feel fully comfortable in an exclusively male or female space.

And to clarify, I am not androgynous. I am gender fluid.

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u/Natural_Bill_6084 28d ago

Please add me! I'm on mobile and it doesn't give me the option to message mods.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

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u/TheDnBDawl 28d ago

Requesting to join! On mobile so I don't see an option to request.

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u/AnatomicLovely 28d ago

May I also have an invite? Thanks for all you mods do to keep your subs safe!

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u/xxanadi 28d ago

Another mobile user here, I'd love to join!

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u/acousticalcat 28d ago

I clicked on the sub link and got a “reason for approval box and request to join button so I did that, but I’m on mobile, so I’m commenting here as well. I would like to have a safe space on Reddit.

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u/fullstack40 28d ago

Can someone eli5 what this whole choose the bear thing is?

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u/themiistery 28d ago

There was a meme that went around asking women “If you were in the woods and you came across a bear or a man, which would you choose?” and lots of women said they would choose the bear (mostly, I’m assuming, because bears are predictably dangerous, whereas with a random man you have no idea). Lots of men (or perhaps I should say a specific type of men) were upset about this and wanted to argue with women about why choosing the bear was wrong and #NotAllMen are dangerous. They did this by… making extremely violent memes about women being mauled by bears. I will not be linking them in this comment but it’s not hard to find them.

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u/fullstack40 28d ago

Thank you. I appreciate the straight-forward explanation.

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u/incandescentSpectre Eclectic Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 28d ago

It was a trend on Tiktok where people were asked something along the lines of 'If you were hiking alone in the woods, would you rather come across a random man or a random bear?' (I don't use Tiktok so idk the exact question). Most women said they would rather take their chances with the bear, leading to all of the memes about 'choosing the bear'.

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u/MilkyTeaDrops Sapphic Witch 💛🩶💜🖤 28d ago

On mobile, also interested. I am an enby but I am femme leaning

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u/Abigail4322 28d ago

I'd love to join this community! I don't know if my post history explicitly says my gender but I am an afab non-binary and would ALWAYS choose the bear.

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u/pennyraingoose 28d ago

This is awesome! I'd love to be vetted to join. I'm pretty sure I've commented in ways you can vet me as a woman, but let me know if you need any additional info. Thanks for taking the initiative to set up this space!

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u/Anabolized 28d ago

Unnecessary reply, but I'm very happy that you created this space (and very sad I won't be able to join, being a man). I really hope it will help those who need it. Love and thoughts for you all! You are great!

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u/HauntingYogurt4 28d ago

Me too please! I can't imagine how much work you're all putting into this right now - thanks so much for doing it.

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 28d ago

you've got an invite! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

also, quite honestly, this has been rewarding work. i like to think that if everyone tried, in even a small, little way, to make the world a better place, the world would end up a much better place.

this is my small, little way.

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u/lemonickitten 28d ago

I have questions about rule 6. While I understand that non binary people should be judged on a case by case basis, would you deny someone who is a trans woman entry to this subreddit if they were not out socially and were still in "boy mode" most of the time, and they do not pass as a woman? I am not trying to be rude or difficult, I am trying to better understand. It’s hard to understand when it feels like someone is deciding if an enby is "woman enough" to join a woman’s space, when many non binary people don’t conform to binary gender roles.

I understand wanting the women in the subreddit to feel genuinely comfortable. But, nonbinary people can suffer from similar discrimination and issues that women do, even if they’re not "femme".

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u/highhippieatheart 28d ago

I would love to be added, but Mobile doesn't have the option!

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u/Drinkingwithchickens 28d ago

On mobile, please add me!

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u/thetitleofmybook Trans Sapphic Witch ♀ 27d ago

i got you! Please go to r/safespaceforwoman and click on “join”

also, given your username, you and u/mossling should get together. she has some incredible chickens that she has posted pics of!

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u/insincere_platitudes Resting Witch Face 28d ago

I'm trying to join on the mobile reddit app for android, and it's not an option. May I join?

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u/HopefulLanguage5431 28d ago

I'd like to join, if possible. I've always wanted a sort of space on social media to just exist in and not have to worry about seeing some TERF or red pill making posts about why trans people shouldn't exist. Which, as a trans woman, isn't the most pleasant topic of conversation.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

Hi, I'd like to join, please. 🙏

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u/largestbeefartist 28d ago

I'd love to join! I don't have any pictures of my face but hopefully you can tell I'm a woman based on my post titles lol.

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u/SgtMajor-Issues 28d ago

Can i please get an invite?

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u/melissaurusrex Forest Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 28d ago

I would love to join, please

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u/KwieKEULE Resting Witch Face 28d ago

I'm interested but can't message the mods :(

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u/FairyGodmothersUnion 28d ago

I would like to join. Please do what you need to allow me to participate. Thanks.

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u/possibleprophet 28d ago

I would like to join. I am an enby but I’ve always been drawn more towards the feminine. Also, my hair is finally long and blue, matching my avatar and giving me no small amount of gender euphoria.

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u/uhhhhnothanks4 28d ago

Hi, I am interested in joining

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u/Auntienursey 28d ago

I would like to be invited, WF 66yo, ally for those that need support

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u/1CraftyAssBitch 28d ago

I would like to join please as I primarily only Reddit from my phone

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u/MsFloofNoofle 28d ago

I'd like to join! I don't really post and I have anxiety about commenting. Mostly active in equestrian/horse and teaching subs.

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u/Significant_Pie_2502 27d ago

I would love to join. I’m not sure if my post history is enough to tell I’m a woman, but am willing to provide other proof.

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u/abombshbombss 28d ago

I would love to join!

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