r/facepalm Apr 27 '24

Friend in college asked me to review her job application 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

Post image

Idk what to tell her


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u/TevisLA Apr 27 '24

South Harmon Institute of Technology?


u/munterboi23 Apr 27 '24

ask me about my wiener!


u/thatredlad Apr 28 '24

Jonah Hill at his best.


u/Cisco419 Apr 28 '24

Fat Jonah was awesome lol damn that coke...

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u/Fena-Ashilde Apr 28 '24

God, I love that dumb movie.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24



u/mexican2554 Apr 27 '24

Because we are SHIT heads now, and we'll be SHIT heads forever!!

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u/LeicaM6guy Apr 28 '24

This looks more like a Greendale application.


u/Pogostickjack Apr 28 '24

She's already axepted

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u/grill_sgt Apr 28 '24


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u/DirtyLeftBoot Apr 27 '24

My gosh. At first I thought he facepalm was having the test at all for employment but then I saw her answers. I understand why they test bow


u/wosmo Apr 28 '24

Yeah ditto - at first glance I thought the test was almost insulting. It actually looks like pretty good triage.


u/DogeLikestheStock Apr 28 '24

Dude, I came here to say that. I was disgusted at the grade school test and felt it was degrading to employees…Then I read the answers.


u/Tesstarix Apr 28 '24

I work for a library system and you won't believe how many people can't even put books in order.

We give them a cart of like 20 books and ask them to alphabetize the fiction and put the non-fiction in numerical order, just as they would to put them away. People think that 741.85 comes before 741.5. They think that BRI comes before BRE. We've had people answer "How would you handle..." questions with "I would tell them to get the hell out and never come back!".

Next time you think you did badly in an interview, hang in there you may have been up against these people.

It's a wild hiring world out there friends.


u/nirbyschreibt Apr 28 '24

In my younger years I worked at Subway, I am German. The German education system is pretty decent. Still I worked together with people who weren’t able to cut the sandwiches in two equal parts although we had the Subway ruler sticked to the counter. (Subway offers stickers with a foot marked on it). People didn’t ring stuff properly into the cashier although it had a touch screen with pictures. People weren’t able to prepare the sandwiches although Subway has a manual for every single task and operation. With pictures!

The same goes for places like Burger King or McDonald‘s. They have manuals with pictures for every single task, including washing your hands and placing the lids on cups. Yet I see people struggling with this work. And whenever I feel like I did the most silly and pointless thing at work I think about the fact that some people are so dense they are mentally challenged by working at Subway or McDonald‘s.


u/EntrepreneurBig3861 Apr 28 '24

This reminds me of this guy on Youtube who has fully accepted his low IQ and argues strongly against the idea that you can do whatever you set your mind to, but seems happy to have held down a fast food job despite his struggles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDXvXACIEA


u/I_Cut_Shows Apr 29 '24

I’m showing this video to players who are new to D&D to explain why wisdom and intelligence are two different stats.

Honestly, I’m not sure I believe his IQ is 70. He may not test well, but he’s clearly self aware in a way a lot of people are not.

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u/Lady_Medusae Apr 28 '24

I just realized I wouldn't want to work in a library lol. I'd be singing the alphabet all day long trying to figure out how to alphabetize things.


u/Jorts_Team_Bad Apr 28 '24

But think of all the DUI tests you could falsely pass now

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '24

It’s okay, I’ve worked in libraries for years and have an MLS, but I still sing it in my head all the time.

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u/moryson Apr 28 '24

Yeah, it's necessary because "high school graduate" no longer means that the person will know reading and writing.


u/ConsequenceNovel101 Apr 28 '24

She’s in college! How did she get into college?


u/mike07646 Apr 28 '24

Some colleges are literally “Just pay the entrance (tuition) fee, we don’t care if you graduate or drop out”.


u/MattATLien Apr 28 '24

Lol this post reminds me of a Chris Rock bit:

"I decided to go to Community College! Its like a disco with books. 'Here's $20, Ima go get my learn on!'"

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u/_TheNorseman_ Apr 28 '24

I live in El Paso, where the only real university is UTEP… which has a 100% acceptance rate. You literally just apply and pay the admittance fees, and you’re guaranteed to get in.

In general, though, this is why I laugh when I hear anyone say something like, “Did you even go to college? I did.” Yeah, because going to college is definitive proof that you’re smarter than someone who didn’t 🙄

A story that adds to this: I went back to college when I was 30. I had a 98 average in Literary Analysis, and one of my classmates asked me to look over her paper that she received a 42 on. It was an essay we had to write on a movie we watched - any movie of our choice. Her spelling and grammar were absolutely atrocious. I told her, “Look, not to be mean, but you should be happy you even got a 42.” She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Well my boyfriend actually wrote it and he graduated from UTEP, so you’re wrong.” She then complained to the Dean and got her grade changed to a 70. This girl now has a college degree and can’t even spell the most simple of words correctly.

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u/lurkerfox Apr 28 '24

Now you know why theres a test lmao


u/DemandZestyclose7145 Apr 28 '24

At my job we have a similar test. It's mostly basic math and then some common sense questions. You'd be amazed and depressed at how many people fail. It's like almost 50% fail rate.


u/Ok-ButterscotchBabe Apr 28 '24

A portion of these people argue on world news about complex geopolitics and macro economics.


u/WoodpeckerNo9412 Apr 28 '24

and they vote


u/Zestyclose_Muffin307 Apr 28 '24

The kind of people that warning lables are made for do still have rights. Whether or not they should keep all of them is for fate and the criminal justice system to decide.

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u/Throwaway8789473 Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and then remember that half of them are even dumber than that." ~ George Carlin

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u/sychs Apr 27 '24

Do they test arrow?


u/robotwireman Apr 27 '24

If no one else saw what you did there, just know that I saw it and chuckled.

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u/DirtyLeftBoot Apr 27 '24

Also saw it and chuckled. Thank you

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u/grubas Apr 28 '24

I was going to say, I know a guy who runs a deli and I heard him asking some kid dumb stuff like this one day.

Kid got really confused as to the difference between a quarter, a fourth, and .25. while the dude in front of me was asking for 3/8ths of a pound.


u/Sanity-Checker Apr 28 '24

Friend is a dentist, and he had to fire someone for being stupid. Seriously. The employee had to record how much anesthetic was used in a procedure, and she could not remember how to write "one half" as a decimal. She knew there was a zero, a 5, and a decimal point, and she rearranged them in random order. 0.5 is correct, but she also wrote 50. 5.0 .05

He said he explained it to her over and over, but she just didn't get it. She did other stupid stuff, so it wasn't just the one thing, but that's a good example.


u/i_poop_sriracha Apr 28 '24

In nursing school you get kicked out immediately for failing the math test. You'll kill somebody if your math is off and you miscalculated medication. 


u/Calleca Apr 28 '24

The first two days of my paramedic program were nothing but math, and if you didn’t pass the test with a 100% on the third day they kicked you out.

We lost about 25% of the class.

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u/TheBagman07 Apr 28 '24

Hell, when I worked in a hospital, I remember that the vials would be in doses by a factor of 10, but the labels were identical except for the small print. One nurse almost killed a kid by grabbing a vial with 10X the dosage by accident.


u/Muroid Apr 28 '24

That seems like dangerously poor design. Mistakes that could easily and foreseeably kill someone should be made as difficult to make as possible.


u/TheBagman07 Apr 28 '24

It was and it did. If my memory serves me the pharmaceutical company agreed to color code the labels for the different doses of the same drug. But that was 20 years ago and it could have changed to something else in that time.

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u/TheArtofZEM Apr 28 '24

There was a House episode about that. Turns out he didn't make a mistake, kid just had a bad reaction. (No, it wasn't Lupus)

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u/Vcouple78 Apr 28 '24

I once had a very intelligent person I know who is not a sports fan ask during a football game, how many quarters do they play? At least after a second or two of silence she realized the mistake and started laughing at herself for asking the question.


u/sergei1980 Apr 28 '24

I was talking with friends about holidays and when they take place, someone mentioned Cinco de Mayo so I asked what date that was on, and they replied. I'm Hispanic and was just pulling their leg, it was very funny in the moment.

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u/Beebeemp Apr 28 '24

Honestly. I had an interview one time where the guy asked if I could count. Short circuited my brain. I didn't know what he meant. "Because you're gonna be counting my money."

It's scary out there lmao

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u/Varlane Apr 27 '24

Ho no, not the 1/3 pounder.


u/superman_underpants Apr 27 '24

i can deal with a 1/3 pounder, but dont dare give me a chincy ass 1/2 pounder! im a man and im hungry! give me a 1/5 pounder!!!!!!


u/ElectricalMeeting779 Apr 27 '24

Dude wait till you see the 1/1 pounder


u/BadgerOfDoom99 Apr 28 '24

Sounds tiny, best order 3.


u/No_Outcome_7470 Apr 28 '24

You only have to pay for one anyway

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u/12altoids34 Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

The normal McDonald's hamburger patty is 1/10 of a pound. The Patty thats used for the the quarter pounder is1/4 pound. Both of those weights are pre cooking. They come in roughly the same size box one has red lettering one has blue. The red lettering is labeled 4:1 blue is labeled 10:1.

Prior to being shipped to the stores they are kept in a freezer room that is kept at 20° below zero(f). That's where I used to work. It was weird working in a freezer that was 20° below zero and then coming out to 70 to 90° temperatures outside most of the time ( South Florida)

Fun fact. When I was working there the most expensive thing that went into a McDonald's (food wise)was the Canadian bacon that was used for the egg mcmuffin.

Edit : thank you to those of you that corrected my incorrect memory. I was thinking that it was five to one when in fact that appears it was 10:1. I was also misstating that the Big Mac was the also the quarter pound meat which it's not it's the regular hamburger meat. I hate when I'm wrong, but I'm man enough to admit my mistakes. Most of the time.

Edit #2: I'm also hearing from people that they no longer freeze the larger Patty and that they have changed the colors of the boxes. So aside from remembering the weight wrong and mislabeling one of the patties what I didn't get wrong is no longer accurate. Well, this is been very humbling.


u/glowstick3 Apr 28 '24

Why did I read this essay on mcdonalds? Because I'm high. +1


u/mcbenny1517 Apr 28 '24

Omg I’m right there with you. It was well written and interesting, that’s why!

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u/Like_Ottos_Jacket Apr 28 '24

Big macs are not quarter pound (4oz) patties, they 2 of the the normal hamburger patties (1.6 oz) which is 1/10th of a lb.

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u/DCinVA Apr 28 '24

Regular patty is 1/10. Back in the 80s/early 90s it was 1/8. We used to call the quarter pounder patties quarters and the others were eights.

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u/what-is-a-tortoise Apr 27 '24

Well she got 1/3 of them correct, which is obviously better than 1/2.

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u/Ethany523 Apr 27 '24

That's what I thought too!

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u/veedubfreek Apr 27 '24

And this is why restaurants sell 1/4 pound burgers and got rid of 1/3 pounders. Because people are stupid.

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u/alb5357 Apr 27 '24

In Arabic, a 4 looks like a backward 3. I remember living there and there was this 1/3 Dinar bill, that just risky blew my mind (not realizing what it actually was)

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u/BackAgain123457 Apr 27 '24

Just standing in a college you mean? Btw, thanks for making me feel less dumb today.


u/toblies Apr 27 '24

I think OP's friend made my cat feel less dumb today...


u/Personal_Resource_42 Apr 27 '24

OP's friend makes "smart home" appliances actually look smart


u/DragonsClaw2334 Apr 28 '24

Let's not get crazy here

OPs friend might be a smart appliance


u/Personal_Resource_42 Apr 28 '24

I dont know man, I've got a toaster with better math skills than the domesticated troglodyte that OP calls a friend

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u/Magoo69X Apr 27 '24

Wow. How did this person graduate HS?


u/sadpandawanda Apr 27 '24

True story: I used to volunteer with an adult literacy organization in a major city. No shame on the people coming, because they were trying to better themselves. But more than one was a HS grad! I asked one woman how she graduated (keep in mind, this woman was functionally illiterate). She explained that the district had a general policy that if you just showed up each day (didn't do any work, just attended each school day), the teachers had to give you a passing grade. So that's what she did. Just showed up each day and graduated.

I would not want to even consider the state of math.


u/Traditional-Clerk-46 Apr 28 '24

I’m an ex high school math teacher. This is exactly the reason I quit and can no longer do the job.


u/mad_method_man Apr 28 '24

how is this... real? is this like a school policy or influenced by some weird law?


u/babablakshep Apr 28 '24

No child left behind, W Bush’s brainchild.


u/Azurerex Apr 28 '24

Not wrong, but people always forget that we had massive issues even before.

Those same schools always had illiterate teenagers. They just used to get held back until they dropped out of school altogether.


u/assistantprofessor Apr 28 '24

Which is what should happen. You should not be given a degree unless you can justify it, otherwise it is just a piece of paper


u/elderwyrm Apr 28 '24

Thinking this over, I think I agree with you. Holding them back instead of graduating them, the opportunity to start learning remains. So long as the school provides any necessary learning assistance, holding someone back indefinitely should be fine.


u/Lookitsmyvideo Apr 28 '24

Yeah pushing them along doesn't stop them from being left behind, it just removes the chance of them catching up.

If you want to do tier 2 before understanding tier 1, you must first learn tier 1 first.

Pushing them ahead means they have to learn both at once, but they couldnt do it when it was half as much work the year before.

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u/MonCappy Apr 28 '24

The US education system is designed to churn out workers to serve the Capitalist ruling class, not to create a well educated, eloquent populace capable of independent, critical thought.


u/SaltyBarDog Apr 28 '24

Just smart enough to run the machines but not smart enough to know how fucked over they are.

-George Carlin


u/BluePenguin130 Apr 28 '24

Now I’m less surprised that people don’t understand how marginalized tax rates work.


u/udontgnomey Apr 28 '24

In fairness, the tax code is like nine copies of Lord of the rings, written in the style of Dhalgren. There's an unreliable narrator, it's way too long, and by the time you've read it it's changed again.

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u/travistravis Apr 28 '24

And how people are so easily convinced to vote against their own interests.

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u/Skipp_To_My_Lou Apr 28 '24

No, more like thanks to a couple different pieces of legislation, including No Child Left Behind, school funding is tied to graduation rates. Administrators figured out pretty quickly that if teachers never fail a child, they have a 100% graduation rate.


u/VicePrezHeelsup Apr 28 '24

I recall our school got paid per student in attendance per day


u/Pressondude Apr 28 '24

This is all schools on some level and always has been. Funding is allocated for various things based on headcount so headcount matters.

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u/mossyskeleton Apr 28 '24

If only someone had considered how incentives work.


u/The_Shryk Apr 28 '24

Oh they did, it was the goal.

Institute something they know will enable perverse incentives.

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u/west_coast_republic Apr 27 '24

Wondering if they made it out of 4th grade


u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

And 3rd grade after that!


u/cat_blep Apr 27 '24

is 1/3rd grade more than 1/4th grade?

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u/Stimpinstein22 Apr 27 '24

My third grader (9 y.o.) just answered these all correct (it took some mental work, but he did it)…


u/Unabashable Apr 27 '24

What did they put down for the shoplifting question? I would think the correct answer is “Ask if they need help with anything.”, but honestly if you’re the only person there, and you’re needed elsewhere you wouldn’t really have much choice other than to let them have the run of the store, check the security tapes, and give the cops the information later on. Kinda one of the drawbacks of staffing to the hilt. 


u/Stimpinstein22 Apr 27 '24

9 y.o. said: watch them, make sure we have good video, and do whatever the boss says when we have shoplifters [policy-my words]. I asked if he would stop them, and he said “no”, which my limited knowledge in retail says thinks is policy in most places, so I would give him credit for that answer…


u/Unabashable Apr 28 '24

Pretty much. As you say, depends on the policy, but most places would rather pay a higher insurance premium than a lawsuit, so they typically tell you to do very little to stop them if anything at all. My last retail jobs policy was if you couldn’t stop them inside the store to just let them walk out the door. Most I’ve ever done was follow them at a distance at the manager’s request to take down their license plate as they were loading the loot. Even that could’ve gotten pretty dicey though if I just so happened to be dealing with the “wrong customer”. 

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u/imightgetdownvoted Apr 27 '24

These questions are honestly similar to my 6 year olds homework (first grade). A bit more advanced, but honestly she’ll be doing stuff like this in 2nd and 3rd grade for sure.

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u/CatWyld Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

Even the handwriting is elementary level. And low elementary at that…


u/Ok-Personality-6630 Apr 27 '24

Nonsense she is on track to being a doctor


u/CatWyld Apr 27 '24

LOL! Fair point!

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u/TrickyTicket9400 Apr 27 '24

I worked at the last video rental chain in the USA (family video) and they had a test you had to take to get employed. It was like this but a bit harder. There was even a reading comprehension section.

Most people failed. I saw a guy come in for an interview in a mountain dew hoodie.


u/marvelousteat Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

Family Video was the strangest little cult of a job I've ever had, and I've got no other way to describe it.

"Remember COKE, Charlie Over Keith and Eric," was how I was told to remember the structure of the Hoogland family that owned the company for when I was quizzed on it.


u/mjzim9022 Apr 27 '24

I once had the regional manager yell at me because I asked a customer if they wanted 1 night or 5 nights on the yellow/purple code-400 new release movies. He said they default to 5 nights, don't remind people that they can pay less. Except whenever I did that, the customer would storm back in without fail and yell at me that they didn't want it 5-nights and then I had to give rental credit to their account anyways.

Also every time I pass by an empty one I shake my fist and go "Those damn Hooooglands!"

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u/rozzco Apr 27 '24

I was expecting Brawndo.


u/kmj420 Apr 27 '24

It's got electrolytes

It's what plants crave!


u/AAron1019 Apr 27 '24

The thirst mutilator?

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u/Shoehornblower Apr 27 '24

I was once a daily drug user and would go through different street dealers over the 5 years of my abuse. Every once in awhile i would come across a dealer that couldn’t do basic math. When they would ask “what is this” as i handed them $, I knew I could take them for a ride. Fortunately for them, and myself, I knew better than to cross a dealer. It amazed me that grown men and women couldn’t add up 5’s 10’s and 20’s…I’ve been clean for 15 years if anyone is wondering.


u/Quick_Team Apr 28 '24

It amazed me that grown men and women couldn’t add up 5’s 10’s and 20’s…I’ve been clean for 15 years if anyone is wondering.

Your previous dealer thinks you've been clean for 25. He did the math.

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u/homeinthesky Apr 27 '24


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u/Gorxwithanx Apr 28 '24

I worked there too! That test was no joke. I remember taking it and thinking, wow if I pass this I'm definitely not gonna have any idiot coworkers. And it was so true. All of my coworkers were smart and capable and it made working there pretty amazing. Except that you had to stand the whole time. The 8 hour shifts were kinda rough. Although I'm sure lots of retail jobs are the same way.

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u/mjzim9022 Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

I'm a Family Video alum and that test (and job) was so stupid, but yes I remember lots of people failing.

Male employees had to be clean-shaven and wear a dress-shirt and tie with slacks, what the heck was that? Just make green polo shirts that say Family Video on the chest. Mt. Dew hoodie guy had no chance.


u/PenguinsArmy2 Apr 28 '24

I mean I would trust a video recommendation from a dude in a mt dew hoodie over anyone else in that store. You already know they have seen it all!

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u/crippledchef23 Apr 27 '24

They lowered the standards so far that no one gets held back anymore. I think it’s like 30% of graduates can’t functionally read.


u/Personal_Resource_42 Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

54% of American adults read at or below a 4th grade level

Edit: I was off by a year. It's actually 5th grade. My apologies.



u/crippledchef23 Apr 27 '24

That’s right. It’s really sad.

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u/QuipCrafter Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

You don’t need to do assignments or get passing grades on tests to move up a grade and eventually graduate Highschool now. You don’t need to actually turn in or complete any homework assignments. You don’t need to put your phone away when the teacher is talking. Parents will crucify teachers for taking devices (“tHeIr PrOpErTy fOr EmErGeNcIeS”) away and admin will take the parents back. Parents will text their kids about dinner in the middle of your lecture and expect a timely reply. 

 Just go over to r/teachers and see what the every day hell of teaching these days is all about. Middle school kids don’t know the months of the year and never grasp them before heading into Highschool. Parents get mad at teachers for it. Parents are hounding kindergarten and first grade teachers asking about why their kid hasn’t been potty trained yet. I’m dead serious. 


u/LostTrisolarin Apr 27 '24

I lurk there and it's absolutely insane. Evidently when teachers get assaulted, the admins tell them that's in their job description and to try to form a better "connection" with the kid.


u/QuipCrafter Apr 27 '24

As a student, when a group of kids I never met before approached me and my friend talking, and one emerged and lifted his shirt and pulled a kitchen knife out of his shorts (yeah wtf I know- no sheath or anything), and demanded money from us- the meeting with the school police officer, after I reported, basically had me lectured about how kids with ADHD have more difficulties, and that he didn’t actually mean it, it makes him make bad decisions some times, he’s a victim of it, and we should apologize to each other and try to get along. 

I never got my money back. I never knew if this kid held resentment for reporting it and was going to stab me at any given time, because of his “adhd”. I had to just see him in the halls occasionally ever since. I had to apologize for him pulling a kitchen knife on me and robbing me, because I figured going to the police officer was the proper move for having my life threatened by a stranger over $20 in front of his friends. Stupid me, I guess. 

This was like back in 2010. My parents were both Highschool teachers at the time and got out of teaching around that time or shortly after


u/LostTrisolarin Apr 28 '24

That's absolutely disgusting. If the student had pulled the knife out on the police officer, would the police officer be expected to apologize to the violent offender ? I doubt it.


u/BAKup2k Apr 28 '24

Depends on if their family is wealthy.

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u/Ok-Possession-832 Apr 28 '24

Extremely insulting to people with ADHD Jesus.

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u/GovSurveillancePotoo Apr 27 '24

No child left behind?


u/mulefire17 Apr 27 '24

Can't get left behind if no one can get ahead...

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u/Kyteshiirok Apr 27 '24

This idiotic policy is exactly how my wife’s nephew graduated from HS. He’s a complete and utter idiot. Can barely spell his own name, probably reads on a 4th grade level and has absolutely no hope of becoming anything worth a fuck in the real world.


u/Personal_Resource_42 Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

probably reads on a 4th grade level

A Department of Education survey like 2 or 3 years ago found that 54% of American adults read at a 4th grade level or below.


Let that sink in

Edit: My apologies, I was actually off by one year. 54% of American adults read at or below a 5th grade reading level. For our international friends, this is roughly 11 years old.



u/Kyteshiirok Apr 27 '24

God that explains so much. I shouldn’t be surprised though I suppose.


u/Solanthas Apr 27 '24

I think it goes a long way to explaining trump

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u/WingedGeek Apr 27 '24

Wow. That's like almost half!

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u/MeerkatAttack2 Apr 27 '24

may i reply to this comment with the "and these people vote" comment? 🤭

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u/OverlordMMM Apr 27 '24

Real answer is probably due to "No child left behind" policies that never included giving students extra support but instead penalized schools and teachers.

Add onto that shifts to standardized testing, typical cheating tactics which are easy in HS, cutting of school funding, regional differences in schooling quality, etc and it's not surprising.

There could also be other related issues, such as learning disabilities, memory issues, etc, but ultimately most of it could be mitigated with better practices.

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u/wardenferry419 Apr 27 '24

Wow, who taught them math?


u/Kitty-Kat-65 Apr 27 '24

The US edumacation system.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

Do I need a gun for that last one?


u/How_that_convo_went Apr 27 '24

The last one is the only real stumper on this thing.

Not because I don’t know what I’d do (which is nothing, I’m not risking my wellbeing for the store’s property)— but because I don’t know how they’re expecting me to answer.

I’d probably say “Call the police.” But I live in the real world and I know that police in major metropolitan centers can often take 4-7 hours to show up to a low priority call like this. So if my shift is over, do I have to sit around and wait for them? Will I be paid for this time?

The real question is why would I be working alone to begin with? Is this store that understaffed or is this a normal practice? That certainly doesn’t feel safe.


u/lolcrunchy Apr 27 '24

My answer for that would be "follow company policy"


u/JustDandy07 Apr 27 '24

Which is to do nothing, in any smart establishment. It's not worth the trouble. 


u/abrasumente_ Apr 27 '24

There's a small grocery store chain near me that didn't have a "no chase policy" years ago. About 10 years ago a couple friends of mine got caught stealing liquor, they made it about 25 meters out the doors before they got tackled. Ah to be young and stupid...all I could do was laugh at them.

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u/dwaynetheaakjohnson Apr 27 '24

Usual company policy is to back off and call police. They don’t want an employee injured by confronting an asshole.

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u/QuiteCleanly99 Apr 27 '24

The correct answer is to record the time and circumstances and then call the police and then call the manager. Do not intervene otherwise.

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u/gladysk Apr 27 '24

The friend used the correct form of “their” in number 9.


u/ElementNumber6 Apr 28 '24

If nothing else, she's certainly more qualified to post on Reddit than most here seem to be.

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u/akanhi Apr 27 '24

If this test is real, then it's working for whomever came up with it.


u/AITAadminsTA Apr 28 '24

Honestly the 1/3 vs 1/4th question is a fast way to tell which coworkers are stupid.

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u/joey02130 Apr 27 '24

I once read about a fast food chain that sold 1/3 pound burgers but they stopped because people complained that it weighed less than a 1/4 pound burger.


u/west_coast_republic Apr 27 '24

You are correct it was A&W


u/ediciusNJ Apr 27 '24

Amburgers and woot beer.


u/Beowulf891 Apr 28 '24

I want woot beer. That sounds awesome.

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u/Willing_Damage9658 Apr 27 '24

I once had a customer ask me if I could make a diet Dr Pepper out of regular Dr Pepper… People make my head hurt sometimes.


u/MajesticNectarine204 Apr 27 '24

Just smile, nod, throw the drink out the window and hand them back the empty glass.

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u/PonderousPenchant Apr 27 '24

I'm not saying that it wasn't true, that some customers thought that. I mean... see above, but the only source for the story was an interview with the CEO of A&W. He was basically asked, "Why is your company doing poorly on your watch?" And his response boiled down to, "Because everybody else besides me is stupid."

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u/DonkeyKindly7310 Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

Yeah... Why would i want a 3 of a burger when I could have a four?

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u/Building-Careful Apr 27 '24

What job are they applying for ?


u/Ethany523 Apr 27 '24

It's for retail, which is pretty important if you're making change on the fly


u/LeibnizThrowaway Apr 27 '24

You need to have a math intervention with this girl...

She will not survive college.

There's a book series called "Everything you need to ace..." Get her the middle school math one.


u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

I don't even know if it's so much not doing math but slowing down, paying attention, reading, and then thinking. I'm pretty sure she got through it as quickly as possible and skimmed and scribbled.

Which is not what one looks for in an employee.


u/ClusterMakeLove Apr 28 '24

Or the sort of judgment that would have them detaining a customer.


u/fuck_woolworths Apr 28 '24

That's the really egregious one for me lol. Don't be a hero for insured company property.


u/Gullible_Medicine633 Apr 28 '24

Exactly. The only answer they want is to provide the customer premiere service and ask the customer if they need help.

It’s not to accuse them of anything, or even obviously follow them.

9/10 times providing good service will make the thief nervous, and they will likely drop the items and leave.

They have the thief’s face on the camera, and technology for facial recognition software is damn good. You report to an LP or manager and they usually let that thief rack up a felony amount of goods before they get the police.

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u/Pour_me_one_more Apr 28 '24

One would hope. But I was at a job interview a few years back where they gave me a written test. I didn't go as fast as they wanted. I said I wanted to work through each problem/solve them numerically. They said they wanted someone who answered by the seat of their pants using intuition.

The job was in engineering and required a Ph.D.

I told them I don't work that way.

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u/Gertrude_D Apr 27 '24

I worked at a restaurant and the woman I worked with freaked out when she put the wrong cash total into the computer and had to figure out the change for herself. She entered like $30 instead of $20. Yeah, she was freaking out about that. This was over 20 years ago, so no blaming the modern school system. The POS system at the restaurant was new and uncommon at the time.

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u/knightsofhale Apr 27 '24

I was thinking to myself, "What store of any kind has this dumb of a pre screening questionnaire?" Now I understand.

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u/MsSeraphim r/foodrecallsinusa Apr 27 '24

she got 2 out of 9 right? congratulations she should apply for a job as boebert's assistant. just don't work retail or in a bank.


u/Heytherhitherehother Apr 27 '24

The sad thing is, the ones she got correct I had to reread several times because I was convinced if we had the same answer I had fucked up....


u/NickyonBottom23 Apr 28 '24


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u/HKei Apr 27 '24

4 quarters in a dollar, what's the other one she got right?


u/MsSeraphim r/foodrecallsinusa Apr 27 '24


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u/thelaceonmolagsballs Apr 28 '24

You could argue the way they wrote 1.000 pennies really just means 1 penny so they stumbled into the right answer there as well.

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u/Savings_Army3073 Apr 27 '24

Oh dear


u/DavidDailo Apr 28 '24

Nah, someone give me a heads up when this person is working.

I think I found a way to help me save on my budget to battle the rising cost of inflation. 

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u/FunKyChick217 Apr 27 '24

I would tell her the ones that she got wrong and tell her to try to figure out the correct answers. Maybe explain why her answers are incorrect to help her figure out the correct answers. She should’ve done it in pencil until she was sure everything was correct.


u/Thesunnyfox Apr 27 '24

I know this isn’t an advice sub but this is the only good comment on how to handle this situation.


u/FunKyChick217 Apr 28 '24

The only reason I gave advice is because the OP said they don’t know what to tell this person.

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u/purplecockcx Apr 27 '24

this is a 3rd graders home work.


u/TheBigPlatypus Apr 28 '24

And the 3rd grader would probably do better.

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u/eltegs Apr 27 '24

5 year olds are applying for jobs now?

Joking aside, you should keep an eye on your friend. They're in danger of getting bundled into a generic black van, and shipped off to work in politics.

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u/t4ct1c4l_j0k3r Apr 27 '24

Tell her she is not the only person who is not smarter than a 5th grader.

I'm sure FleccasTalks would love to do an interview with her. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HusMMz1-8sg&pp=ygUHZmxlY2Nhcw%3D%3D

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u/i-love-elephants Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

Tell her to check for dyscalculia.

Edit: The people who are actually upset at this comment need therapy. There are several symptoms for dyscalculia and it doesn't present the same way in everyone.

And, while I'm not an expert, AN EXPERT could assess her and give her ways to learn basic math so she CAN have these skills to get a job.

At least I'm not calling her an idiot. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she might actually have a learning disability and I'm giving a tip that might actually be useful.



Dyscalculia is a specialized learning disorder that affects a student's ability to learn or retain math skills. The disorder presents itself in a range of ways, including an inability to memorize number-based facts, difficulty understanding the logical steps needed to solve a math problem and aversion to completing numerical daily tasks like telling time, scheduling appointments or calculating finances. The severity of dyscalculia varies among those afflicted. Some students may only be affected by math and dyscalculia in the classroom while others may find the learning disorder affects their interactions with numerical concepts throughout their lives.


If you have dyscalculia as an adult, you may have had it from the moment you were born, or it may be the result of a brain injury or stroke. Either way, symptoms can present themselves in a wide range of ways; you may perform some math-related tasks without problems — while struggling with others — or you may have challenges across the board Dyscalculia Symptoms in Adults at Work Even if your job doesn’t directly involve math, you may still be confronted with it at work. If you have dyscalculia, symptoms in the workplace may include:

Gets anxious at the thought of having to do math unexpectedly at work Trouble handling money or keeping track of finances Frequently runs out of time while doing a task, or fails to plan enough time for all the things that need to be done Trouble understanding graphs or charts Finds it hard to understand spoken math equations, even very simple ones Skips numbers or transposes them when reading a long list or spreadsheet Finds it difficult to use Excel formulas Uses fingers to count or marks pages with tally marks to keep track of numbers Often gets several different answers to the same math problem; needs to check work over and over again Unable to remember math rules or times tables


Here are four common symptoms of dyscalculia in adults:

Difficulty with basic arithmetic operations

Many adults have no problem admitting they're bad at math. But for those with dyscalculia, the difficulties run deeper. Solving basic math problems, like addition and subtraction, can be a challenge for many. Everyday activities like grocery shopping or balancing a budget can be next to impossible for some. Although many adults with dyscalculia get by with the help of calculators and other tools, some may feel as if they're struggling to keep up with everyone else. Such feelings can contribute to increased anxiety and frustration.

If simple calculations you make daily still have you looking to your fingers for help, you may want to see a dyscalculia specialist. Note that not all adults with dyscalculia experience difficulties with basic arithmetic. Some have more specific struggles with fractions, algebra, or geometry. So, don't rule out dyscalculia based on your ability (or inability) to do basic arithmetic in your head.

Inability to estimate quantities or time

Because of their math difficulties, time management can also be a common issue for adults with dyscalculia. Individuals with severe dyscalculia may find it hard to estimate how long tasks will take them. This can make planning and meeting deadlines difficult, impacting both their personal and professional lives.

Estimating quantities can also be a slog for adults with dyscalculia. For example, you may have difficulty gauging how much food is needed to make a recipe or how much gasoline is needed to fill up your car's tank.

If you find yourself frequently underestimating or overestimating quantities, it could be a sign of dyscalculia.

Poor understanding of money and financial concepts

The challenges adults with dyscalculia face with math also affect how they think about money. Making sense of financial concepts like taxes, interest, and investments can be difficult for some. Others find it hard to stick to a budget or make sound financial decisions. Adults with dyscalculia may also have trouble counting change, reading a pay stub, or understanding basic banking concepts.

Without proper diagnosis and treatment, the difficulties adults with dyscalculia face with money can lead to financial instability later in life.

Spatial orientation issues

Adults with dyscalculia can have trouble orienting themselves in space. That means they may have trouble with activities that require them to visualize objects in three dimensions. Such issues manifest in several ways, such as:

  • Difficulties judging distances or sizes

  • Difficulties telling distinct numbers apart

  • Difficulties understanding maps

  • Difficulties with directions

Fortunately, many strategies can help adults with dyscalculia improve their spatial skills. They may benefit from using objects to visualize mathematical concepts, or using spatial reasoning tasks to develop their problem-solving abilities.

There's no shame in having dyscalculia. With the proper accommodations and support, dyscalculia doesn't have to stand in the way of your success. If you believe you may have dyscalculia, a professional evaluation should be your first step.


Dyscalculia symptoms might look different depending on age and developmental stage. Common symptoms of dyscalculia include:

difficulty understanding or remembering mathematical concepts such as multiplication, division, fractions, carrying, and borrowing difficulty reconciling verbal or written cues (such as the word “two”) and their math symbols and signifiers (the number 2) trouble explaining math processes or showing work when asked to complete a mathematical task difficulty describing the sequence of events or remembering the steps in a math process



u/PurpletoasterIII Apr 28 '24

Actually though. Not only is it hard to believe someone could get these questions this wrong, but she actually used the correct version of there, their, and they're. And the last question while its not correct is at least a reasonable answer to give if this is her first job. She could just have dyscalculia that's just gone undiagnosed.


u/ChefMike1407 Apr 28 '24

Yes. I worked with a young girl that has dyscalculia and had the hardest time with change, multiplication, and measurement. But when given visuals she excelled. She could polish off a novel or two a week and was able to totally converse about the plot as well as themes and other complex elements in the book.

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u/CoffeeCaptain91 Apr 28 '24

Yeah these are the kind of mistakes I make doing math. I failed even with a tutor. Yes, when it comes to numbers I'm an idiot.

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u/ticktockbent Apr 27 '24

If my experience is any indication, she's a shoe in for management

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u/tiamatsbreath Apr 27 '24

It started out ok at least on the first question.🤷‍♂️

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u/banmeharder616 Apr 27 '24

I'd say she's qualified to run for office


u/bliip666 Apr 27 '24

How is this a job application? The questions sound like 4th grade maths test


u/yousernamefail Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

You'd be surprised. My husband used to work in kitchens and would constantly moan about how they should be asking cooks to demonstrate the ability to apply basic conversions in interviews, i.e. how many cups in a quart, how many oz in a pound, etc. Apparently, it was a common problem.

Edit: added clarity

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u/buburocks Apr 27 '24

Wtf kind of job application is this lmfao


u/hurtstoskinnybatman Apr 27 '24

One that weeds out bottom of the barrel morons pretty quickly. It's a great idea. If I were hiring for a company, I wouldn't waste my time interviewing anyone who can't ace this.

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u/LaserGadgets Apr 27 '24

"................................................ok thanks, we give you a call"