r/facepalm May 03 '24

The bill just passed the House 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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35.3k Upvotes

5.7k comments sorted by

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u/Evening_Rock5850 May 03 '24 edited May 06 '24

Like any good politician, she’s creating a binary which does not exist.

Wolf populations are not going to eliminate the entirety of Colorado beef.

And the current endangered species protections do not prevent farmers and ranchers from protecting their livestock from wolves. It’s just that it’s a lot cheaper to shoot a wolf than to invest in better fences or trap / deter wolves.

Ranchers are dealing with the wolves now. Colorado is producing lots of beef, today. Ranchers are asking for a cheaper and easier way to deal with wolves.

Wolves are also the sole or primary predator for deer. When there are no wolves, deer populations explode. So does disease within those populations, such as chronic wasting disease. Which can be transmitted to cattle as “Mad Cow Disease”.

This is a short-term solution to a long term problem and represent a desire for cheap and lazy solutions to the “problem”. It is NOT the case that protecting wolves makes it impossible to keep cattle alive.

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u/IHateSherrod May 04 '24

A total of 4 cows have been killed by wolves. This lady is nut so.

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u/Tirus_ May 04 '24

Wolves are also the sole or primary predator for deer. When there are no wolves, deep populations explode. So does disease within those populations, such as chronic wasting disease. Which can be transmitted to cattle as “Mad Cow Disease”.

Not to mention, more deer, more deer involved auto collisions.

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u/SwoopingSilver May 05 '24

more deer, more grazing on the land, less food for cattle on said land.

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u/Needless-To-Say May 03 '24

Like any good politician

Describing Boebert as good anything diminishes everything else.

This is a short-term solution to a long term problem

It's not a problem at all, the benefits of wolves are well documented

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u/[deleted] May 04 '24

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u/Slyme-wizard May 03 '24

This sounds like parody. This has all the makings of a parody. “Give land to wolves” SHE SAYS IT LIKE THEYRE SOME FOREIGN INVADER THAT THEY NEED TO WIN AGAINST.

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u/[deleted] May 03 '24

I first read it as “gay wolves” and still wasn’t surprised

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u/heyimleila May 03 '24

I ONLY NOTICED AFTER READING THIS COMMENT

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u/James-W-Tate May 03 '24

We've all become really desensitized to how outrageously fucking stupid the Republican party is these days.

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u/Khaldara May 03 '24

And Boebert can’t valiantly defend us by giving them over the pants handjobs during Beetlejuice if they’re gay! Truly an immeasurable threat!

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u/[deleted] May 03 '24

They’re turning the frickin wolves gay - Alex Jones, probably

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u/Moonsleep May 04 '24

If you like wolves you are gay - Andrew Tate probably

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u/Muroid May 03 '24

I was waiting for the tweet to justify why it was targeting gay wolves specifically and when it wasn’t addressed, I went back and saw it was gray wolves.

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u/Short_Elevator_7024 May 03 '24

Thank you, me too!

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u/Ill_Technician3936 May 03 '24

Right glad to know my brain wasn't so confused by the US wanting to kill Grey Wolves again that it read it as "gay"... Even then I was thinking "let 'em fuck".

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u/njwinks May 03 '24

This is a federal response to a state issue. Colorado voters passed a ballot initiative in 2020 effectively requiring the reintroducing of wolves into the state. If her bill passes, I don't suppose that many ranchers here would think twice about shooting or trapping as many wolves as they can.

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u/sysdmdotcpl May 03 '24

Colorado voters passed a ballot initiative in 2020 effectively requiring the reintroducing of wolves into the state.

Probably in response to the overwhelmingly positive impact they had in Yellowstone.

Like, giving land to wolves actually had an incredible effect on the area simply because of their ability to control the population of grazers.

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u/shaggypotato0917 May 04 '24

It's funny you brought up Yellowstone because I was thinking Boebert and her crew wanted this bill because they saw how much trouble the wolves caused them on the TV show.

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u/chiefs_fan37 May 04 '24

That’s probably exactly it honestly. I would be more worried about her car hopping son prowling around looking for vehicles to pilfer than wolves though.

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u/Expendable_Red_Shirt May 03 '24

Couldn't Colorado just pass protection for the gray wolves?

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u/Bacon_L0RD May 03 '24

Dude the wolf Republic is out for blood, I hear they have WMDs we need to stop this!

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u/Slyme-wizard May 03 '24

They got the Wolves of Mass Destruction

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u/Slyme-wizard May 03 '24

Also how much of a caricature do you have to be to outright state with full seriousness that you think hamburgers are more important than preserving wildlife.

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u/tdgarui May 03 '24

Yea I mean I like burgers but I’m gonna go with the wolves on this one

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u/High_Flyers17 May 03 '24

Our options seem to be spare 2 different animals, or burger.

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u/Stampede_the_Hippos May 03 '24

They're nothing compared to the Otterman Empire.

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u/CookieMiester May 03 '24

Americans love war. “War on terror, war on drugs” etc.

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u/Liberi_Fatali561 May 03 '24

Don’t forget “war on education,” “war on sanity,” “war on common sense,” and “war on democracy.” Granted, those are wars started only by republicans.

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u/VersionAccording424 May 03 '24

The last sentence is word for word exactly something I'd expect to see in a Reddit comment mocking her. Now what are we supposed to joke about? Parody is dead, and I no longer feel like laughing, I feel like crying.

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u/MostlyDarkMatter May 03 '24

Remember what Jesus said: Screw the environment. I want a Big Mac for me's sake.

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u/donwgately May 03 '24

I feel like Jonathan Swift once proposed a way we could both get burgers and save the environment...

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u/Lotus-child89 May 03 '24

This sounds like a very modest proposal. I think you’re on to something.

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u/MuchachoSal May 03 '24

Blessed are the Cheeseburgers, for they shall inherit the Kingdom of God...?

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u/Early_Assignment9807 May 03 '24

What's so special about the cheesemakers?

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u/Super_Plastic5069 May 03 '24

Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.”

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u/seaurchineye May 03 '24

See, if ya hadn't been goin on, we would've heard that, big nose.

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u/-You_Cant_Stop_Me- May 03 '24

Say that once more, I'll smash your bloody face in! 👊🏻

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u/curtman512 May 03 '24

Don't pick your nose!

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u/Actual_Anything_2974 May 03 '24

I wasn’t picking my nose, I was going to thump him

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u/petehehe May 03 '24

I’m sure he’s referring to all manufacturers of.. dairy products

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u/Rincey_nz May 03 '24

"oh that's nice about th' Meek... they've 'ad a 'elluva time"

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u/koulnis May 03 '24

Never mind that ranchers could get reimbursed for the cow lost PLUS FOUR GENERATIONS OF COWS IT WOULD HAVE MADE if a wolf kills it. Mind you, one head of cattle is anywhere between $1,500 and $4,000:

Rep. Tammy Story, an Evergreen Democrat and prime sponsor of House Bill 1375, said she brought the bill as a way to encourage coexistence among wolves and ranchers.

In 2023, Western Slope lawmakers from both parties brought a bill allocating $350,000 annually to a compensation fund providing up to $15,000 in reimbursement per animal killed or injured by a wolf or wolves. Under Proposition 114, the ballot measure that proposed reintroducing wolves, the state was required to create a fund for compensating ranchers.

“It is only equitable that livestock producers take responsibility for their safety and their assets in order to receive that compensation,” Story said.

The bill would have also set aside an unspecified amount of funds to help ranchers pay for the non-lethal tools. Non-lethal deterrence tools include hanging flags, using flashing lights, blasting sounds and deploying guard dogs.

Source

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u/notanaardvark May 03 '24

And never mind the ridiculous amount of welfare these government subsidized ranchers already get, for an industry that provides a minority of the nation's beef. Taxpayers already provide about 90% of the cost of grazing cattle on BLM land, and what the BLM receives from ranchers in the way of miniscule grazing fees is far less than what it costs to administer the livestock grazing program.

So yeah, they get so much from our tax dollars already that I don't really give a shit what they think about wolves, especially if we're paying them for cattle that wolves kill.

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u/JudgeAdvocateDevil May 03 '24

Reminds me of that South Park Christmas Musical where Santa and Jesus are singing songs about themselves:

Away in a manger, no crib for my bed. That's where cute little lone me lay down my sweet head. The stars in the sky look down where I lay. Cute little eight pound me, lay sleep in the hay.

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u/Tonalspectrum May 03 '24

Put something fatter, dumber and slower in the fields for the Wolf to attack instead of the cows🤔🤔🤔.

That way everyone is happy…..

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u/_kwerty_ May 03 '24

I think Donald is a bit too busy for that at the moment.

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u/battleoffish May 03 '24 edited May 04 '24

Or a bit too fatty. Think of the poor wolves’ health.

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u/greenroom628 May 03 '24

Or smell too rotten. Years of a poor, fast food diet should have rotted his insides which are all now,. uncontrollably leaking outside.

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u/pyky69 May 03 '24

Omg and him shitting his pants on the reg still hasn’t changed how MAGATS think of him. They’re fucking wearing goddamn diapers IN SUPPORT OF HIM. It’s so embarrassing being an American these days.

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u/PoxedGamer May 03 '24

They’re fucking wearing goddamn diapers IN SUPPORT OF HIM.

My word they've literally become a parody of themselves...

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u/captorofsin79 May 03 '24

Something orange, perhaps?

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u/Capital_Pipe_6038 May 03 '24

Are we entirely sure the spray tan won't poison the poor wolves?

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u/Jodah May 03 '24

You know, I support animal rights in almost every situation but I think I'm still okay with the wolves taking one for the team in this specific case. It will be better in the long run. The wolves will deserve the most extravagant funeral in history though.

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u/InformedInTheChaos May 03 '24

I really dislike that woman. I pray people in other countries don’t know who she is. I’d hate for them to think that we are all that ignorant.

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u/Biscuits4u2 May 03 '24

Only about 30 percent of us are this stupid.

1.9k

u/CplCannonFodder May 03 '24

51% with Gerrymandering

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u/TorpidWalloper May 03 '24

Due to Gerrymandering this comment is the winner.

No really, this comment is great!

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u/lucaskywalker May 03 '24

It is, it's really the best comment. All the experts are saying it, they're saying it's the best comment they've ever heard. People are walking up to TorpidWalloper in the street, in tears to tell him just how great his comment is!

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u/AF_AF May 03 '24

Really, there were hundreds of thousands of comments, it was something to see, beautiful comments, the best, the best ever, really.

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u/JunketAlive6492 May 03 '24

I walked in here I said "WOW what great comments"

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u/SLevine262 May 03 '24

People were coming up with tears in their eyes, big strong men, and they were saying “Sir, that was the best comment I ever heard”.

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u/OldMrCrunchy May 03 '24

They say, “Sir, this is the best, which means most good, no really look it up, it means most good literally, Sir this is the best comment I’ve ever heard, or read, you know sometimes comments get read instead of heard, they say Sir this is the best comment ever, EVER. They really do. I’m not saying it, but everyone is saying it.”

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u/nuclearbalm1976 May 03 '24

I hate you for making me laugh that hard at something so infuriating

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u/Greenpoint1975 May 03 '24

💯 Murica the beautiful.

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u/cultvignette May 03 '24

This is such a solid retort to so many things right now. 5/7, would read again.

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u/porchchili May 03 '24

Gerrymandering is one hell of a drug

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u/SerLaron May 03 '24

That is almost as much as Hitler needed to seize power in 1933 (33.1%). He just needed a some temporary allies and a terrorist attack to get emergency powers.

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u/Finbar9800 May 03 '24

FUCK

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u/AF_AF May 03 '24

"Man, those guys are really violent fascists, but they'll leave me alone".

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u/Educational-Bid-4682 May 03 '24

Doesn't matter if the remaining 70 percent too lazy to vote

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u/WeirdAlbertWandN May 03 '24

Don’t forget the system is rigged to give the 30 percent inherently more power at a disproportionate level

People in highly populated blue states legitimately have far less voting power than people from low population red states that are all over. Not just in the senate, which is obvious, but our congresspeople represent a greater number of constituents, so our voices are less heard

Not to mention republicans literally can not win the popular vote for presidency anymore but still have a strong chance at winning each time

It’s fucking rigged for one side

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u/Biscuits4u2 May 03 '24

You ain't lying friend

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u/blubabycakes May 03 '24

we know who she is 🤭

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u/DevonLuck24 May 03 '24

well..forget please

that would be super cool of you guys 👍

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u/blubabycakes May 03 '24

forgotten 🫡

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u/Banaanisade May 03 '24

I'm afraid the rest of the world is constantly exposed to her stupidity via news from your lot.

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u/ProperBoots May 03 '24

i would honestly have no idea if not for reddit. i don't consume any news on my own at all so i actually see more american news than anything else. wish there was a way to filter it all out. AI should get on that

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u/Lizzebed May 03 '24

Haha... You wish. You just opened, read and even commented on a post about Lauren Boebert, congratulations you are now subscribed to more news about Lauren Boebert since she seems to be of great interest to you!

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u/ProperBoots May 03 '24

.. god damn it

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u/Slyme-wizard May 03 '24

Ive talked to people from other countries and they thought that looooong ago

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u/EarlyHistory164 May 03 '24

We know who she is. We think she's a scuttering gobshyte. We know most of ye are sound.

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u/MuffinSpirited3223 May 03 '24

if it were only her that was that stupid though...

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u/wood_dj May 03 '24

i’ve got some bad news

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u/malfunkshunned May 03 '24

Actually wolves control the deer population, which is known to over graze. So do you want land for cows? Keep the wolves.

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u/Bacon_L0RD May 03 '24

They underestimated the amount of people that saw “how wolves shape rivers” lol

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u/malfunkshunned May 03 '24

I read “Return of the Sea Otter.” And it doesn’t surprise me how short sighted we are, fishermen blamed the decrease in sea urchin population on otters rather than their terrible over fishing practices and near wiped them out in retaliation.

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u/dbx99 May 03 '24

Mao Tse Tung ordered that all sparrows be exterminated because he thought they ate seeds and wheat. They did and this caused a locust explosion without sparrows predating on them. The locust wiped out the harvests and caused millions of Chinese to die of starvation.

https://www.historydefined.net/how-killing-sparrows-led-to-one-of-the-greatest-famines-in-history/

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u/malfunkshunned May 03 '24

Yes! That was a wild bit of history.

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u/MrMcBeefCock May 03 '24

You should read the one about the capture of the Bulgarian soliers. It's nowhere near the scale of Mao but it's still a pretty crazy bit of history.

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u/FesteringDarkness May 03 '24

Are you talking about the bit where he for every 100 of the 15,000 soldiers he captured, he blinded 99 of them, leaving 1 with one eye to lead the rest home?

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u/00wolfer00 May 03 '24

Since they linked Basil II's wikipedia page I'd wager that's exactly what they mean.

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u/incognegro1976 May 03 '24

This is crazy to me because didn't they also declare educated people as elitists and worthy of death?

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u/NeedsToShutUp May 03 '24

They also did this while they were developing nuclear weapons. They actually had ~4000+ members of their nuclear weapons program be persecuted.

In the end, they had to draw up a special list of people to be protected because otherwise they would have lost Qian Xuesen who was the father of both their atomic weapons and space programs, who had moved back to China after being involved in the founding of JPL and the Manhattan Project. Many of those persecuted were folks with the best educations from abroad who were the key for China to catch up.

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u/dbx99 May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

Yeah they executed all the academics, intellectuals, educators, all as a symbol of cleansing China of the corrupt minds. Smart people and elites corrolated in class presence so that’s the conclusion the communists came to. Coincidentally that is currently happening in the usa. MAGA views colleges, especially prestigious ones, to be breeding grounds for globalist mindsets and liberalism. Go figure.

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u/CedarWolf May 03 '24

The Khmer Rouge took that even further, to the point where they even executed people wearing eyeglasses because they looked intelligent and because they could afford glasses, therefore they must be one of the 'elites.'

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u/WhoDeyTilIDie09 May 03 '24

Well to be fair to the Khmer Rouge they only started doing that after they killed all the educated people, so they started to kill those who appeared to be smart. Also fuck the khmer rouge an pol pot too.

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u/bllclntn May 03 '24

Thank you for being fair to the Khmer Rouge.

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u/Ordolph May 03 '24

Fascists always need an enemy, they can't stay in power otherwise. Same reason Hitler kept moving the goalposts in who all needed to be exterminated to make Germany "pure", same reason according to Putin Ukraine suddenly needed to belong to Russia.

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u/Big-Summer- May 03 '24

There was a branch of my mom’s huge (she was one of 13) family that were just like this. And unfortunately, those are the ones we visited often. So I grew up around people who hated school, were disgusted by the mere thought of reading a book, and were swaggeringly arrogant about their own stupidity. In fact, they thought being a dumbass made them better than everyone else. I was relentlessly made fun of for being a bookworm and for getting good grades. So when the MAGA shit ascended to prominence, I totally knew what to expect. It gave me no pleasure to be right. Morons gonna moron. And in my experience, they never change.

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u/ApolloWasMurdered May 03 '24

The “Four Pests” campaign in China caused a famine that killed 30-40 million people. That’s twice the entire death toll of WW1. The effects on the population at a base level can still be observed today, and this has provided a trove of valuable information to geneticist studying how environment impacts epigenetics and gene expression.

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u/nedlum May 03 '24

To be fair to Mao Zedong, there were more causes to the Great Chinese Famine than the Four Pests campaign. And only most-to-all of them were Mao's terrible ideas.

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u/Choice_Cantaloupe891 May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

Beginning a post with "To be fair to Mao Zedong..." is a wild slight of hand. Take my upvote

EDIT:SLEIGHT it's sleight not slight schlock or slip

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u/CrazyPlato May 03 '24

Not directly related to the wolves thing, but since we're listing stupid shit Mao did in office, we can add the campaign he started to encourage steel production in Maoist China. He encouraged working-class farmers to build kilns on their property, and melt down any iron or steel they had into ingots (which ended up being their farming tools most of the time).

Unfortunately, while this led to a lot of steel in China, the metal it produced was terrible quality. Because those farmers were never taught about refining or had proper equipment to get a precise quality from the steel they smelted. So the farmers were left with materials they couldn't use, and were left with no tools to complete their work on their farms.

Among other issues with his regime, Mao's time in office is filled with him jumping onto new ideas at the drop of a hat, without bothering to check if there'd be any consequences to his actions.

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u/dbx99 May 03 '24

So Asian Trump

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u/CrazyPlato May 03 '24

I don't know if I wanna go there. Don't get me wrong, you're not incorrect: Trump is also famous for handling power in a very short-sighted, reactionary manner.

But also, if you try to put that label out there, it opens people up to dismiss it based on the moments when it's not correct (Like, right away, I imagine some Maoist saying "actually, Mao's support of Communism would have made him almost the opposite of Trump!").

But also, I'd argue that the two men's demeanor are based on different things. Mao got to office because he was a revolutionary general who fought with the Communists in China's Cultural Revolution. So he was elevated to power largely through hype and demonstrated skill in the battlefield. But that didn't translate well to domestic governing. He was a man of action, rather than a strategist or expert. So when it came to dealing with problems as Chairman, he tended to take the solution that allowed him to jump into action, rather than waiting to research the greater problem.

Meanwhile, Trump's reactionary behavior is more based on narcissism and self-centeredness. He's generally been pulling a massive grift this entire time (he originally ran for office, arguably, as either a way to make money for himself, or a way to escape investigation for his many shady business dealings in the years leading up to 2016). Once he was in office, a lot of his actions seem to be based largely on keeping those two plates spinning: he supported basic, bland things that Republicans had been harping on forever to maintain his power base; he made shady dealings in the back rooms like encouraging visiting dignitaries to stay at Trump hotels (which he refused to divest his finances from while in office); he tried to strong-arm Ukrainian president Zelensky into giving him dirt on Joe Biden's family, because he knew he couldn't run for re-election and extend his stay in office if he didn't have better ammunition against his political opponents. I'd argue that unlike Mao, who was at least trying to perform as head of state to the best of his abilities (limited though they were), Trump was never even trying to act as president, and was solely focused on getting something of value for himself out of the time he had that power.

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u/ethan-apt May 03 '24

Being ignorant is profitable

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u/yes_no_yes_yes_yes May 03 '24

Not in the long run lol

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u/triteratops1 May 03 '24

Yeah but who cares about that! We can make money NOW/s

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u/Objective-Chance-792 May 03 '24

Someones gotta call JG Wentworth

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u/jmdp3051 May 03 '24

At least it's profitable for one person's lifetime, thats all they care about, it can all fall to shit as long as they die wealthy

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u/drewdurfee May 03 '24

Honestly yes! This was such a good special

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u/kandice73 May 03 '24

She couldn't understand an ecosystem

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u/NewldGuy77 May 03 '24

She couldn’t spell ecosystem

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u/DonkeyKongsVet May 03 '24

She can't even pronounce ecosystem. She gets to the C and that's it.

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u/Clydus1 May 03 '24

Didn't yellowstone prove how vital wolves are to the ecosystem? And we didn't learn from that? Seems like no research was done for this bill.

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u/Servillo May 03 '24

It’s Boebert, information being backed by science and data is a knock against that info. I actually think she’d be one of those people who would inhale truck fumes when told it’s bad for her.

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u/TotalChaosRush May 03 '24

Sadly, no research is done for most good bills. Even more sad is when research is done, and the bill does the opposite.

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u/godmodechaos_enabled May 03 '24

It's a false dichotomy - we can have both. Only idiots frame everything as a zero sum proposition. Do you want trees or houses?. Do you want ice caps or airplanes?. Fuck this woman

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u/addage- May 03 '24

Lauren watches too much Yellowstone.

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u/say_what_homie May 03 '24

wolves please

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u/Maeberry2007 May 03 '24

Lol right? What a silly question. I would happily give it to the wolves. Beef grows in plenty of places outside of Colorado, and even if it didn't, wolves.are not going to eat so many Colorado cows there will be a beef scarcity. It's more like to happen from disease.

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u/halcyonOclock May 03 '24

Yeah, right? Say less, Boebert. Wolves. To quote good old Edward Abbey, “If people persist in trespassing on grizzlies’ territory, we must accept the fact that the grizzlies, from time to time, will harvest a few trespassers.” Wolves have been in America about a few hundred thousand years before cows, if they prey on a cow about 0.2% of the time, I think that’s fair.

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u/__mink May 03 '24

Although I do miss a good smash burger, I’ve gone four years now not eating red meat. Honestly, it’s been pretty easy. I would much rather have a healthy environment.

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u/_onelast May 03 '24

She just wants to kill wolves.

MYTH: Wolves kill lots of cattle, lead to lower birth rates, and are causing cattle ranchers to go out of business. They cost the livestock industry too much.

FACT: Wolves are responsible for less than two tenths of a percent (.2%) of cattle depredations. About 94% of losses are due to non-predator related causes, such as respiratory disease, digestive problems, weather, calving problems, etc. These few losses have minimal effect on the livestock industry. However, to an individual rancher losing even a few animals seem like a lot. This leaves an angry impression which is often exaggerated and this is the voice that gets heard. If a ranch is within the territory of a wolf pack and there have been no problems of depredation, ranchers are advised to leave the wolves alone as they may be protecting livestock from wolves that are more prone to go after livestock. Many ranchers, in fact, have implemented and currently practice non lethal techniques and predator friendly ranching.

http://www.wolfmatters.org/myths-and-truths-about-wolves.html#:~:text=MYTH%3A%20Wolves%20kill%20lots%20of,2%25)%20of%20cattle%20depredations.

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u/Splinter007-88 May 03 '24

I commented this on a hunting post and got so many negative comments before. And I’m a conservative hunter!!

There’s a book called “never cry wolf” where a Canadian wildlife researcher went to live in the Yukon amongst wolves to study them bc there had been a large drop in the caribou population. Turns out the wolves were mostly eating mice. They would kill caribou but they were very efficient managers and the humans were poaching caribou for money.

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u/durian34543336 May 03 '24

There is the difference between logical conservatives and emotional conservatives. The first we need more of. Facts matter to them. The emotional ones will just say whatever grinds their gears the most. Whoever makes them angry and directs their anger gets their vote

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u/Splinter007-88 May 03 '24

You speak the truth.

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u/Greerio May 03 '24

I love the twist at the end.

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u/Mantigor1979 May 03 '24

Seems like violence and killing things is a popular solution for Republicans.

Can't train your dog? Shoot it.

Can't protect you cattle? Shoot the threat but decriminalization of shooting first.

Don't like the outcome of the election? Violence.

Don't like the protests? Violence.

I feel like historically we should pick up on the fact that factions that tend to escalate to violence and killing typically don't have the general publics best interest in mind.

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u/allisjow May 03 '24

Immigrants? Shoot them.

School shooters? Guns for teachers to shoot them.

Someone rings your doorbell? Shoot them.

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u/Holl4backPostr May 03 '24

Someone stops in your driveway? You guess it, fire seven times.

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u/JustSomeEyes May 03 '24

you missed the one where two policewomen, shot like 25 rounds each, to a guy's house(got called for someone suspicious inside the house), only to hit him ONCE(barely), and it was the wrong house all along...

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u/Shadowfox186 May 03 '24

Did you see the 2 police officers who had a suspect handcuffed in the back of the car and an acorn fell? They both unloaded into the car missed the suspect and almost shot each other.

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u/Darkjedi97 May 03 '24

Wait, that really happened????

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u/SaveTheLadybugs May 03 '24

Not only did it happen but the cop who reacted first to the acorn shouted “I’m hit!”

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u/Big-Summer- May 03 '24

That is the fucking best. Next time I’m out hiking with my family and a leaf falls on me, I’m totally gonna shout “I’m hit!” (I’ll give the fam a heads up before we start out. “Word of warning, guys! Mom’s gonna do something dumb for laughs.”

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u/Redfencer12 May 03 '24

https://www.police1.com/officer-shootings/officer-confuses-a-falling-acorn-for-a-gunshot-here-is-why-it-can-easily-happen-again

I can grab a couple more sources if you think this one is unreliable, but you can just type “police acorn” into the search bar and it immediately comes up

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u/AccomplishedLayer884 May 03 '24

Acorn fall on your car? Shoot ‘em

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u/boo_boo_cachoo May 03 '24

But let's force pro birth policies because "we care about the children". 🙄

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u/ceimi May 03 '24

Well yeah they need more bodies for target practice

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u/Queasy_Sleep1207 May 03 '24

We should have learned after 9/11 and the WMD lies, and kicked the lying murderers from the adult table then and there.

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u/FrankyCentaur May 03 '24

Except barely formed zygotes, can’t kill those.

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u/Mantigor1979 May 03 '24

Well that's a two-sided one though. Can't kill the zygote but can kill the doctor and the woman who decided to kill it. So that's kind of a BoGo offer there.

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u/ChaoticFluffiness May 03 '24

Yeah but then all those god fearing, gun loving, family first folks wouldn’t be able to use their guns in the name of god and to protect their family. /s

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u/Eko01 May 03 '24

Do you want the acorns to win? Only the right can protect you from the real threats.

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u/lovepony0201 May 03 '24

Wolves are canines, so it's no surprise that the party that brags about killing puppies would pass a bill to help make wolves extinct.

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u/rgvtim May 03 '24

If predation gets to the point of affecting the supply or price, she might have a point, but we are so far away from that that she sounds like a loon.

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u/MrBanana421 May 03 '24

Predators is even solving some of the other farm problems, like critter populations eating crops. Or Dead animals sticking around to breed diseases.

But i guess it's just not as fun when they don't do the killing themselves

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u/ChiefCodeX May 03 '24

Wolf predation of cattle is extreme rare and is hardly noticeable when it does happen.

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u/Orinocobro May 03 '24

Idaho rattles off the numbers every year, always carefully stating it in isolation. So you hear "600 cows were killed by wolves in [year]." But you don't hear about the 10,000+ cows lost to inclement weather.

In general, loss of livestock to wolves is under 1% in any given state. People just want to shoot wolves so they can play badass.

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u/MohatmoGandy May 03 '24

Why don’t they ban inclement weather? Are they stupid?

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u/RNYGrad2024 May 03 '24

You don't need to ban it. Just use a sharpie on a weather map to tell the storms to go somewhere else.

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u/DoBe21 May 03 '24

I'm going to go out on a limb (as a cattle farmer) and say that disease kills 1000x more free-range cattle than wolves within the next ~50 years.

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u/VeryNiceGuy22 May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

Exactly. There are hardly ANY grey wolves in the state of Colorado. However, they are currently attempting to reintroduce them. https://cpw.state.co.us/learn/Pages/CON-Wolf-Management.aspx#:~:text=The%20Parks%20and%20Wildlife%20Commission,in%20Summit%20and%20Grand%20counties

This bill is very counterintuitive and really doesn't even affect anything at all. Its useless government infighting. A waste valuable time making laws that don't help improve anything at all.

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u/BarryZZZ May 03 '24

This map indicates that there are no Gray Wolves in Colorado, suitable habitat, but no such wolves.

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u/Aiteann May 03 '24

This is pedantic but the reintroduction of gray wolves into Colorado has begun. Boebert was very much against this.

"The Parks and Wildlife Commission passed the Final Colorado Wolf Restoration and Management Plan on May 3, 2023. Between December 18 - 22, 2023, Colorado Parks and Wildlife wildlife experts released 10 gray wolves onto public land in Summit and Grand counties."

https://cpw.state.co.us/learn/Pages/CON-Wolf-Management.aspx#:~:text=The%20Parks%20and%20Wildlife%20Commission,in%20Summit%20and%20Grand%20counties.

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u/Beaglegod May 03 '24

So she wants to shoot the wolves they’re trying to reintroduce?

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u/Eastern-Cucumber-376 May 03 '24

This is correct

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u/500rockin May 03 '24

Par for the course with her

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u/Redfish680 May 03 '24

Just invite a certain governor and tell her they’re puppies!

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u/Awomanswoman May 03 '24

Though these puppies would be much stronger and can fight back, but I’m all for seeing her up against wolves

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u/PM_ME_CAT_POOCHES May 03 '24

On PUBLIC land. When she says they have "ranches" what they mean is that the government allows them to use public lands to graze their cattle

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u/CZall23 May 03 '24

Which honestly sounds like a dumb move on ranchers' part given that there would be wildlife on those public lands as well.

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u/sjmiv May 03 '24

She and a lot of ranchers where she's trying to get elected. It's not some romantic cowboy shit. This is about making money. For her and the ranchers

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u/WanderlustFella May 03 '24

LOL so lets kill animals so that we can raise animals that we will also kill. I mean I love hamburgers too but that's some stupid logic to remove protections

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u/crescent-v2 May 03 '24

There are at least 11 wolves in Colorado.

There was a pack up along the Colorado/Wyoming state line. They strayed into Wyoming and all but two were killed - both males.

But then this past December the state released 10 more, one of which has since died. Some of those may have bred. There are plans to release more with a population goal of 200 wolves in the state.

This is a huge political issue in the state right now.

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u/No_Worker_8525 May 03 '24

It’s a huge political issue for like six rich ranch owners. The rest of us understand that wolves keep the deer population in check and will help keep chronic wasting disease from spreading or jumping species or other cervids. Not to mention cattle ranching has a huge negative environmental impact and is also a contributing factor to the cost of living crisis in the state.

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u/theprinceofsnarkness May 03 '24

I love the article on one rancher - "wah wah, I have 3000 head of cattle and they killed two of my calves and now I'm so distraught that I neglected my herd and lost 2 more because I wasn't doing my actual job as a rancher."

Cattle die. They get sick. They get lost. They get into stuff they shouldn't. Birth goes wrong. Losing a few to a couple of wolves isn't going to tip the scale, and the wolves aren't out joy killing (they aren't cats...)

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u/BJYeti May 03 '24

They also get full compensation for any cattle lost, they literally lose nothing

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u/WistfulDread May 03 '24

The bill applies to more than Colorado, however.

Wisconsin, for example, already has their guns loaded.

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u/DandelionOfDeath May 03 '24

Do you want to give land to the wolves or do you want to give land to the boar? You have to pick one.

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u/djarvis77 May 03 '24

Lab grown meat for the Hamburgers.

Land for the Wolves.

Prison for the traitor Boebert 🖕

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u/SOYBOYPILLED May 03 '24

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u/koniboni May 03 '24

send in more wolves

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u/superspacenapoleon May 03 '24

lab grown wolves

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u/quequotion May 03 '24

I want to upvote this again.

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u/capn_doofwaffle May 03 '24

The problem here, as a Floridian myself, is that we don't really have as massive an amount of wolves as the north does. DeSuckass just banned it because his coffers told him to.

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u/picturepath May 03 '24

Must read “Thinking Like a Mountain” by Aldo Leopoldo. It’s a journal entry by realizing what hunting wolves does to the environment.

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u/WillMunny1982 May 03 '24

Shut up and get back on the pole, Beetlejuice

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u/LainieCat May 03 '24

Land for the wolves, please.

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u/__ducky_ May 03 '24

Isn't it true that the land to cows was meant to be a temporary thing but then politics were like "hey we can capitalize on this at the detriment to the environment, who cares?!"

Wolves every time, not even close. And while we're at it let's stop blasting animals with cyanide bombs.

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u/Ghenil May 03 '24

The reintroduction of grey wolves into Yellowstone Park was one of the most remarkable transformations of an ecosystem in history:

https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/wolves-yellowstone/#

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u/microcoffee May 03 '24

More wolves, less stupidity

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u/_Kaifaz May 03 '24

Land for wolves, please.

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u/Much-Meringue-7467 May 03 '24

I want to have land for wolves.

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u/Traditional-Wave4535 May 03 '24

Why can’t we just protect what little is left? So how much money did it take to buy her? $500? $1000? A car? A house? I pretty sure being good stewards of Earth is more important than my McDouble.

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u/Karmachinery May 03 '24

Can we give her to the wolves please?

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u/Scoobydewdoo May 03 '24

Why not just build walls around the ranches to keep the wolves out and get the wolves to pay for them?

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u/UrbanDryad May 03 '24

I read this first as "endangered gay wolves", and Bobo has said so many insane things I didn't immediately doubt it.

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u/BestPaleontologist43 May 03 '24

‘Just Now at News at 9: Deer population has exploded in Colorado and theres a Tick alert going out for the entire state. Our hospitals are full, please stay indoors or wear a full bodysuit if you need to go outside. Ticks can fall from trees on to your person when you least suspect it.

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u/J_Robert_Matthewson May 03 '24

Fuck you, Beetlejerked.  I can want both.

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u/pricklypear90 May 03 '24

Clearly, the cows should be armed..

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u/1stltwill May 03 '24

Hey Americe. There is a solution. Feed the wolves with politicians! The wolves are safe. The cows are safe. And there are less politicians! Win/Win/Win